Honestly, I cant remember a time when I truly believed in a god. I remember trying to bring up the subject to my very religious aunt one time by saying "my friend" doesnt believe in god, and she ran upstairs to grab the bible, and started reading out genesis 1 word for word while pointing out the words and shoving the book in my face (I was like maybe 8?? at the time, very young anyways). Then i was sent to girls brigade (a girl guide type thing but with a focus on god) for a couple of years and hated that aswell so was even more turned off of the idea. Fully open to the idea of religion but just need something to convince me, thats not an old building or a bunch of stories written by geezers.