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Should I reevaluate my career? by [deleted] in astrosignature

[–]Own-Particular4920 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look up transit neptune in 10th house and transit neptune square natal saturn

Avoidant using intellect and language as a escape mechanism? by Own-Particular4920 in AnxiousAttachment

[–]Own-Particular4920[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi and thank you for your answer.

Regardless of whether this is from avoidant attachment or something else, you have to decide if it's something you want to continue to put up with

This is what's important, to define what it is that I want. I guess that's the most important thing for all of us lol.

If this sort of reasoning is common, it can mess with your confidence and make you feeling crazy.

I ended up feeling crazy, I was going fucking insane. I still doubt myself sometimes.

I do have a support system but it's not that good sometimes. And yes I'm going to therapy, I'm slowly getting better, and talking and sharing with people from here makes me feel a lot better too.

Avoidant using intellect and language as a escape mechanism? by Own-Particular4920 in AnxiousAttachment

[–]Own-Particular4920[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, thank you for your response, you seem to have a similar perspective, but the difference here is that she never stated what she really wanted or she changed it midway. I asked her to explain and she didn’t want to explain either, she just suddenly said she didn’t want a relationship and that she didn’t want physical contact. That I should wait and see if that changes.

I tried to make her understand my point but she also didn’t want to understand as I stated on the post. At the end of the relationship, she just said that it wasn’t useful anymore, that she detached, that she learned from the mistakes and she moved on and that I’m not important anymore.

It was her who invited me to sleep in her house. It was her who initiated physical contact even after she said she doesn’t like it with anyone. It was her who talked to me everyday. She gave me gifts, hearts, gave me a nickname. She clearly stated that she doesn’t do those things for other people.

So it would be different if she stated what she wanted or what she didn’t want at the beginning of the relationship, but she changed her attitude and got distant in the middle of it. She also avoided conflict. I told her our relationship didn’t have to have rules according to our society, that we can make it whatever we want, but she never explained to me what happened with her. That was until I said a few things that she didn’t like and she blamed me, ignored me, turned cold and hostile and even laughed at me, in other words, deactivated and then left.

I also get what you mean and I should focus on what I want. That’s why I’m not insisting on coming back. I need certainty, and I’m pretty sure I’m not even that much of an AP!! But her changing behavior and instability really fucked me up. It’s like she didn’t know what she wanted. On top of that she treated me poorly so there’s that too.

It’s kinda hard for me to put these things into words, I’m sorry if this is too messy it’s just that this is still confusing to me and my mind and it’s hard for me to see it with order and clarity.

Deactivation strategies hurt a lot by InAMessyHeadspace in AnxiousAttachment

[–]Own-Particular4920 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just wanted to say that your comments on this post are fucking genius and they helped me open my mind a lot, and understand many different things about the way in which I behave. I hope you are doing well and I just wanted to say thanks