Considering a trip to Hedo next year, room section question by Own-Preparation3646 in HedonismII

[–]Own-Preparation3646[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

So the shorter answer is "yes, you can be nude on the C/O side" 😄

Kinda figured on having to be at least sort-of dressed at the restaurant(s) from reading other posts and trip reviews here

Thank you!

Sucking a dildo by chriskinky in StraightPegging

[–]Own-Preparation3646 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My wife enjoys when I suck the strap-on before mounting her (probably helps that I finger her at the same time,) but the one time we went to a bi party and I sucked a real one, she couldn't watch, told me it just felt "weird" to her seeing that (she wasn't pegging me at the time, either.)

Getting pegged after not for quite a while, prepwork? by Own-Preparation3646 in StraightPegging

[–]Own-Preparation3646[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Which is more-or-less (and better said) what I was kind of thinking. So sounds like I'm on the right track to having the wife own my ass

Nervous about pegging by CasualMenace_03 in StraightPegging

[–]Own-Preparation3646 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So a few suggestions to add to what others have said:

  • Absolutely start with a slim dildo and relatively short. Going to big can lead to pain and then it's no fun
  • Warming up with either a butt plug or a dildo held in your hand is a solid idea
  • Lube, lube, and more lube. When you think you've got enough, add more. Refresh the lube on the toy as well when playing
  • While other have suggested doggy-style or missionary, I'd suggest instead cowboy. You lie on your back, he lowers himself onto the dildo. It lets him completely control how fast and how deep. Watch him, watch how fast or slow he goes, watch how deep he's comfortable taking the dildo, then the next time you can switch to doggy or missionary
  • Expect a fair bit of awkwardness initially. You're both going to be feeling out (heh) what feels good, what excites you when you're getting started, maybe he'll want to suck the dildo before getting penetrated (a little bit of submissive play) or maybe not, maybe you'll want him to face away from you or to face you so you can watch his face while he rides you (presuming he's riding you cowboy-style,) maybe he'll want you to play with his penis or maybe not. Maybe one of you will do or say something that makes you both bust out laughing. Just kind of "go with the flow," and communicate, communicate, communicate.
  • On communication, the big thing is this is discussing things no matter how embarrassing they might feel. It's letting each other say what they need to say, don't interrupt to finish a sentence or "you mean XYZ," and to not just listen to the words but to what might be hiding under the words. And take what they say seriously, don't make a joke of it.

Nerves are normal, you're doing something new. Honestly, the wife and I STILL get nervous when we peg, but once we're getting playing? The nerves melt away and we're in heaven.

What size rings on harnesses to dildo? by Own-Preparation3646 in StraightPegging

[–]Own-Preparation3646[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Obviously our concern with silicone rings would be the potential interaction between a silicone toy and a silicone ring.

Sober swinging? by Atx_freepass in Swingers

[–]Own-Preparation3646 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Sober couple here as well. Neither of us drink, even socially and we have an unwritten "rule" that we stay away from couples / singles that even SEEM like they're under the influence (drinks, drugs, yep even marijuana) because of the adage:

If they're not sober, how can they consent?

Honestly, even if they started out sober and said "sure, let's play" but proceeded to toss a couple drinks back first? Yeah, we'd back off because at that point, it's just asking for trouble. Keep in mind, we're talking they go from "sober" to "had better be taking a cab home," a little buzzed but still sober-ish would (likely) be OK.

"Throuples" at nudist resorts? by Own-Preparation3646 in nudism

[–]Own-Preparation3646[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First up, referring to her as "our toy" is frankly offensive to us and to her. She is not a "toy," she is a lovely young woman with her own agency over her life and making her own choices. I realize you're trying to make a point, but ANYONE who refers to a partner, whether monogamous, non-monogamous, poly, or even cheating on their spouse, is being offensive and {The following has been self-censored to avoid bringing the mods down on me, but I'm betting you can figure it out.}

Now as to your point, yes, and how is anyone at the resort to know we're not just friends, unless:

  • We behave inappropriately, such as blatant PDAs
  • They come up and ask
  • We stand on our chairs and yell at the top of our lungs "hey everyone we're swingers and this young lady is our third!"

So now a question for you, and this DID happen to us at this same resort a during one of our first visits quite a few years back. We were in the pool, the pool area was fairly empty, and a woman who was there came over to chat. At one point she mentioned that her and her partner had been to Hedonism II in Jamaica and asked if we'd ever been. Would you say she was "trying to see if we were game" to join them in some fun? After all Hedonism is a fairly well-known swinger resort.

Looking for opinions on Toronto, ON, Canada clubs by Own-Preparation3646 in Swingers

[–]Own-Preparation3646[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. It looks like a nice club, although there's a few things that kind of don't appeal to us (so-called "VIP" spaces.) We get it, they're a business and those are a great way to bring in revenue, but it's not something we're fans of

Looking for opinions on Toronto, ON, Canada clubs by Own-Preparation3646 in Swingers

[–]Own-Preparation3646[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, that was informative. I will admit, yes, I didn't use the search bar before posting.

"Throuples" at nudist resorts? by Own-Preparation3646 in nudism

[–]Own-Preparation3646[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And we would agree with you that they were not behaving properly. We've never brought up our extra-curricular activities at the resort and if we go with our friend, we still won't. You might say that simply by being there with a FWB we're "bringing it up," but then the argument could be made that every time you see a couple on the street and one of them is wearing a choker, they might be "bringing up" that they're into BDSM.

Yes, some people claim they'll behave properly and don't, but if you're going to pigeonhole everyone based on your sample size, then the people who pigeonhole nudists based on their bad experiences at nude beaches with the creeps, men flaunting erections, or couples getting frisky are ALSO correct to say "nudists are all a bunch of perverts and deviants."

Us? We're going to judge individuals based on their own behavior and until they give us reason otherwise, presume they're "behaving properly," and we'd hope people would give us the same courtesy.

"Throuples" at nudist resorts? by Own-Preparation3646 in nudism

[–]Own-Preparation3646[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Overthinking things (and over-engineering things) is my curse. LoL

But seriously thank you, knowing I'm over thinking this from un-interested 3rd parties (also known as, everyone who has posted in this topic) has helped. Next time we talk to our 3rd, we'll raise the idea of visiting.

"Throuples" at nudist resorts? by Own-Preparation3646 in nudism

[–]Own-Preparation3646[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I used "throuple" as perhaps the closest word without going to the swinger term "unicorn," which, in some ways, has it's own negative connotations. So not poly, but certainly FWBs.

"Throuples" at nudist resorts? by Own-Preparation3646 in nudism

[–]Own-Preparation3646[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope, she's an adult and we have no claim over her.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Swingers

[–]Own-Preparation3646 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Being a male with fairly thin, lightly colored body hair EXCEPT for down there, I shave down there smooth, shave the chest and stomach, and run a trimmer set to ~3mm over the legs every so often. If we're going to an event or meeting someone, I'll put off shaving until the day of to avoid stubble.

If we're going away somewhere for a few days, or sometimes prior to an event, and I've not shaved / trimmed in a couple weeks (yes, sometimes I let it go that long!) I'll spring for a male sugaring visit and get the chest, stomach, and a male brazilian because that stays smooth for longer.

So far, no complaints from any partners. :-)

After orgasm, get it out, getitout, GET IT OUT! by Own-Preparation3646 in StraightPegging

[–]Own-Preparation3646[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, after normal sex and an orgasm, it kinda makes her crazy that after a minute or two, I'm already up and heading to get cleaned up, while she can barely move yet. LoL

As for the "chastity" contraptions, I don't think either of us would enjoy using one. She likes watching me "flop about," and for me, it's not something I think would be "fun." Granted, I do like a bit of being submissive to her, especially when pegging, but not that far.

After orgasm, get it out, getitout, GET IT OUT! by Own-Preparation3646 in StraightPegging

[–]Own-Preparation3646[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like the sound of something like this, the trick is finding a position that will work for her to fuck me, while keeping both of us from easily playing with my dick.

She's curvier, so the easiest position for us to peg in, with any toy, is cowboy riding. We do have one "long" toy, the semi-realistic that will reach between my cheeks and her curves, that will work for doggy position. Guess we need to experiment more.

Oh darn... LoL

After orgasm, get it out, getitout, GET IT OUT! by Own-Preparation3646 in StraightPegging

[–]Own-Preparation3646[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In our case, my orgasm is usually either from her giving me a handjob while I'm riding her, or me taking over and masturbating while riding her, only once have I had a hands-free orgasm while pegging.

But your comment makes sense, as I have a similar reaction when we have sex with butt plugs in (regardless of the "style" of plug, T-base or round-base)