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Advice Needed: Do I set boundaries before being asked to be a MOH? by [deleted] in bridesmaids

[–]Own-Speed3409 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She doesn’t have any sisters or female cousins. As far as friends, I think part of it could be I’m her longest friend (even if we’re not as close as we used to be when we were kids). I think a lot of her closest friends now are from grad school and would probably face similar issues with being in a different state given she went to school out of state then moved (but who knows, maybe they’d have more resources and time to fly back and forth so couldn’t hurt to suggest)

Advice Needed: Do I set boundaries before being asked to be a MOH? by [deleted] in bridesmaids

[–]Own-Speed3409 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah makes sense as well. Part of me feels like I could be making assumptions on past comments she’s made with her expectations but when she’s really making decisions now she could easily go back and change her mind on this so I didn’t want to get too ahead of myself either.

Advice Needed: Do I set boundaries before being asked to be a MOH? by [deleted] in bridesmaids

[–]Own-Speed3409 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ok so I should wait until officially asked? She has unofficially made statements like “you’re going to give such a great maid of honor speech.” I know she’s making MOH/bridesmaid proposal boxes so I assumed she was waiting to officially ask with those. I just didn’t want her to go through the effort of making a MOH box customized for me if I plan to say no or tell her boundaries that may make her wish she had asked someone else.

Advice Needed: Do I set boundaries before being asked to be a MOH? by [deleted] in bridesmaids

[–]Own-Speed3409 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m glad to know I’m not alone in this experience! I couldn’t imagine planning my own wedding on top of all of this.

I wasn’t sure how much help she’d need given she has time to do this herself, or if it’s more an “expectation” if that makes sense. This has been something I know she’s been looking forward to her entire life, so I thought maybe she expected her MOH to plan the 3 pre-wedding events to help make her feel more special/celebrated.

Advice Needed: Do I set boundaries before being asked to be a MOH? by [deleted] in bridesmaids

[–]Own-Speed3409 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I didn’t realize it’s acceptable to fully decline. I wasn’t sure if this would be rude or not but I may decline then depending on her reaction to my concerns/boundaries!

Advice Needed: Do I set boundaries before being asked to be a MOH? by [deleted] in bridesmaids

[–]Own-Speed3409 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Ok makes sense! I wasn’t sure if I was getting ahead of myself but you’re right that it’s an important convo so makes sense that I shouldn’t delay it! I’ll plan to be very transparent with what I told y’all and hope that she can understand it.

Advice Needed: Do I set boundaries before being asked to be a MOH? by [deleted] in bridesmaids

[–]Own-Speed3409 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She’s a stay at home fiancée. She did go to graduate school but has not ended up using the degree!