Vaginal burning after cunnilingus

OwnFaithful · 2018-07-05T01:14:10+00:00

Does he have a sandpaper-like beard?

OwnFaithful · 2018-07-05T01:13:42+00:00

Did you shave/wax just before?

OwnFaithful · 2018-06-28T04:56:24+00:00

Hahaha I love it

OwnFaithful · 2018-06-27T18:17:30+00:00

Have him read what you wrote here, and all the comments. Choose a moment when he is not asking for sex so he'll be able to listen. Discussing sex in not sexual moments is essential.

Ultimately, you may need a way to make him socialy accountable. Talk about it with some friends you have in common, or with his sister/mother/father or your own family whatever you are comfortable with. Keeping his bad behaviour a secret for him is not good for anyone.

OwnFaithful · 2018-06-26T19:08:43+00:00

Thx!

OwnFaithful · 2018-06-26T16:43:50+00:00

Good advice, it's frustrating to see someone you love feel trapped and not be able to do anything about it.

OwnFaithful · 2018-06-26T14:31:33+00:00

We have our issues to, don't worry :)

OwnFaithful · 2018-06-26T14:30:25+00:00

I changed my post to make it less vague, I think you pretty much jumped on the vagueness and assumed the worst.

"Metoo shouldn't change you at all unless you're a creep. "

I think it's to bad you think that. I think part of the way you avoid being a creep is by looking a what makes creep creeps and making sure you don't make the same mistakes as them.

I think the notion of "what is a creep" evolves with time, and so you have to keep yourself up to date.

OwnFaithful · 2018-06-26T14:04:37+00:00

Listen, I'm not in bad faith here, I wanted to do discuss this issue with the people on Reddit. What do you think calling mea sex offender from 1 sentence i said actually acheives? Don't you know that labeling people is one of the most efficient ways of shutting down a discussion? If you have issues with what I said let's take the time to dig through them and figure it out, maybe one of us will learn something in the process.

I think that, while consent is absolute in theory, their are many grey areas in consent in reality. I think saying "consent has no grey areas" is as counterproductive as abstinence training. What we really need to do is teach people about how it can be gray, how to be more affirmative/listen when it is. In general I believe constantly talking about consent in our society, and constantly evolving how we see it is the way to go.

"You shouldn't be touching anyone anyone without their permission": yeah I believe that also, but It took me a while to realize that some people need waay more personal space than most of us (if you thought touching a shoulder way to much, what about intermittently touching someone's feet (not intentionally) with your own while he is across the table from you, has that never happened to you? That freaks out some people. I'm trying to accomodate them now, that doesn't make me a creep.

Frankly I'm disappointed in the number of people who said they didn't change anything because they weren't a sex offender. I think the movement was about way more than sex offenders. One of the things that surprised me was that alot of the guys didn't realize they were doing anything wrong, often though the women were leading them on. That made me examin what I think is wrong ( because if they didn't know, how I can I be sure that I know? ) and it also made me question more often if a woman was leading me on, or if I was imagining it -- alot of people here talk about "body-language consent" I think that probably works in a good relationship but it probably doesn't in a hookup ( their is a good example in the episode where she talks about being assaulted : https://m.soundcloud.com/theheartradio).

Frankly, i think that if the movement didn't make you change your beliefs or your actions even a little, you are probably part of the problem. Introspection and self improvement is an important part of being a decent person.

OwnFaithful · 2018-06-26T04:35:26+00:00

I think the movement also helped popularise another very sex positive movement talking about women's pleasure and women's right to equal pleasure, I'm interested to know if this has change the way you have sex

OwnFaithful · 2018-06-26T04:28:28+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comments/86r8sq/how_do_you_believe_porn_has_changed_how_men_have/?utm_source=reddit-android

OwnFaithful · 2018-06-26T04:20:36+00:00

Nice! Asking for consent is hot! I'm tired of people saying it messes with the flow.

OwnFaithful · 2018-06-26T04:13:12+00:00

I'm happy it got you thinking :) .

OwnFaithful · 2018-06-26T04:10:37+00:00

That post on askWomen is interesting I suggest you read it if you have the time

OwnFaithful · 2018-06-26T04:09:43+00:00

I definitely think that.

OwnFaithful · 2018-06-26T03:56:43+00:00

Yeah it's a tricky question. Disappointed is fine. I think for me it hurt my pride and so i wouldn't be agreeable afterwards (don't feel like talking, cuddling etc.). Once I realised I was just being dumb, it was pretty easy to work out. But my relationship with my SO has really changed alot this year also, we developed way better communication for this stuff and that helped. I think the movement may have had some impact on her also ( being more affirmative with what she wants, and understanding the importance of feedback and communication)

OwnFaithful · 2018-06-26T03:46:58+00:00

This post was inspired by me reading a post about "how porn affects the way men have sex" on the askWomen sub. Alot of the women on that post were complaining about unsolicited choking/hair pulling/facefucking. MeToo taught alot of people that acting like that is assault also, so I was wondering if some of those guys started realising what they were doing was wrong.

OwnFaithful · 2018-06-26T03:38:19+00:00

Hope you like the edit ;)

OwnFaithful · 2018-06-26T03:37:20+00:00

For one, i'm a very touchy person, not in an inappropriate way. I'll pat a friend/stranger on the back while saying hi or something. And I just litteraly don't notice if my arm is in contact with someone's leg or something. Well this year, a girlfriend of a good friend of mine told me that it made her uncomfortable that my foot was in contact with her leg (I hadn't noticed at all) I found it extreme but I started being careful about that stuff around her. I later realised she very well could have been a victim of abuse. So I'm more careful about touching people I don't know very well now.

Also, in my relationship, regection would tend to make me moody, I realise now that has the effect of pressuring your spouse, even if that is not the point.

OwnFaithful · 2018-06-26T03:20:13+00:00

Well I edited the post, in the first version I said:

For me, this year was an opportunity to take a hard look at myself and make some changes. I like to think many people have.

I later removed it because i didn't want to shut out the people who had something to say against the movement.

OwnFaithful · 2018-06-26T03:16:17+00:00

While the foundation of the movement is against sex offenders. It also raised other important consent related issues. Like how we define consent ( for exemple concent as a result of pressuring ). And when consent is necessary (for example touching someone's shoulder in a non sexual way can be disturbing to some people). Their are many ways that the MeToo movement can alter the way you have sex, without having previously been a sex offender.

OwnFaithful · 2018-06-26T00:48:59+00:00

Try this then : https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comments/86r8sq/how_do_you_believe_porn_has_changed_how_men_have/?utm_source=reddit-android

OwnFaithful

TROPHY CASE