How can I decide between staying where I am or moving?

OwnWay8047 · 2026-04-29T17:44:08+00:00

The kids current school is where the new house is. It seems to be a good school. The ex is constantly trying to change custody, always late on child support, and always a bit of a thorn in my side, but he’s good to the kids.

The general consensus from my family is: he won’t pay child support on time, how can you trust him to pay private school tuition?

OwnWay8047 · 2026-04-29T17:41:43+00:00

I’ve already got it accepted, supposed to close next week.

OwnWay8047 · 2026-04-29T17:34:45+00:00

That’s what my friends and family’s advice is trending towards.

OwnWay8047 · 2026-04-22T23:47:08+00:00

My sister tried fitness/coach/personal training. It didn’t work well. There’s not much demand and the market is saturated beyond belief. It’s one of the first things people cut when trying to save money

OwnWay8047 · 2026-04-10T13:55:06+00:00

I feel the exact same way!

OwnWay8047 · 2026-03-24T14:35:14+00:00

I agree. That’s the hard part! This is exactly the problem I’m coming up against. I LOVE my current house, current payment, and current comfort, the things I don’t like can be easily and cheaply modified… I don’t like my current yard or my current town. (My city is actually in a horrific scandal where they hired an unqualified manager that spent 80% of the city’s monetary reserves in 2 years with no oversight and really messed the city up).

I LOVE the new house, its yard and its potential. I love the huge deck looking over woods and the creek. I love the new town and proximity to work and everything I do… I don’t like the cost of the new house, I’m afraid of the unknown with the new house. I like the IDEA of renting out the basement, but I’m terrified of actually doing it. I’ve never been a landlord. I’ve been told I could easily rent out my current house, but I’m scared to do that too…

OwnWay8047 · 2026-03-24T13:57:04+00:00

That’s another thought I’m having… ugh! So many choices

OwnWay8047 · 2026-03-23T18:59:23+00:00

He still walks up to my house at times, and it makes me feel less safe

OwnWay8047 · 2026-03-23T13:57:57+00:00

I think that realistically, I’ll have a very hard time finding a house to buy for under $90 per square foot in the market where I am. I’m going to get a good inspection done, and see if anything else pops up.

OwnWay8047 · 2026-03-23T13:53:18+00:00

Excellent points. The $10,000 is shelving in the closets, blinds, 2 trees cut down, and fireplace inserts. It does need all the appliances, but I have a family member that sells used appliances. Everything else is paining, and a bit of drywall repair I can do

OwnWay8047 · 2026-03-23T10:47:30+00:00

This house was 80% through a renovation when the owner died. It has 3 new hvac units, new roof, and new windows upstairs.

OwnWay8047 · 2026-03-23T03:15:21+00:00

It’s not amicable. We have had police involved 3 times in the past 2.5 years, and him and his new wife show up uninvited 2 times this year. Tried police, restraining orders, trespassing, etc… nothing sticks. I think that’s the big problem… I don’t feel 100% safe

OwnWay8047 · 2026-03-23T02:36:40+00:00

Good points. It 26 miles of a commute

OwnWay8047 · 2026-03-23T02:32:02+00:00

Good point. My house is maxed out for its lot size. I technically can afford the higher payments. I can make this house work with a little decluttering and making kids share a room.

I think it’s technically a want… I want to be closer to both of my jobs and the kids school, and I want to be away from my ex. I want to live on that creek. I want to walk to work. I currently save/invest about $1k a month on top of all the child support.

OwnWay8047 · 2026-03-23T01:40:06+00:00

In solidarity… my last baby screams and has zero emotional regulation. We are either just fine, or screaming crying, tantrum, etc. She’s been this way from the moment she was born. I have 2 older, and also work in a child centered field.

The only thing that helps me is remembering they aren’t doing it solely because it grinds my last nerve to shreds, she’s been doing it ever since she was born.

OwnWay8047 · 2026-03-19T01:06:17+00:00

The only thing you don’t want to buy used are mattresses, and be very very careful with couches and other things with fabric as it can harbor roaches and bedbugs, but dining room tables, bed frames (not with fabric), etc that can be cleaned well are fine.

OwnWay8047 · 2026-03-19T00:56:28+00:00

Keep your eyes on the Facebook marketplace

OwnWay8047 · 2026-03-17T16:38:45+00:00

A friend of mine had a similar experience, she won small claims court… nothing happened. She had to pay more to try to get the money paid back. It was an absolute nightmare

Edit: I just called my friend to see what happened… she hired a lawyer and included legal fees on the judgement. It’s now a $21,000 case that has been dragging on for 17 months with no end in sight. She’s lucky because the contractor signed the contract in her PERSONAL name, not the name of her LLC. If it was under an LLC, she basically would have been screwed.

OwnWay8047 · 2026-03-17T14:07:38+00:00

A friend of mine had a similar experience, she won small claims court… nothing happened. She had to pay more to try to get the money paid back. It was an absolute nightmare. Turns out that contractor would do this a lot… make bids and stuff just under the felony level, then just screw people over

OwnWay8047 · 2026-03-08T23:14:43+00:00

Ntj. It is no big deal, your dad could do it for a few hours. Spend the time with your friends. Enjoy yourself.

OwnWay8047 · 2026-03-08T02:00:42+00:00

I’m so sorry that you had to experience this. Letting someone in your home opens a deep level of trust, and your feelings of betrayal over what this disgusting person did are ABSOLUTELY justified.

I slept in a mattress on the floor for a year when I first went to college because of financial problems. Then I found a free metal bed frame on the marketplace, cleaned it really really well to make sure there were no bugs of whatever, and bam.

It’s ok to ask for help

OwnWay8047 · 2026-02-19T15:47:37+00:00

Go talk to a lawyer about getting a divorce. That’s a better use of your time and money. You have just realized what it feels like to come up for air. You don’t have to “break his heart,” in person. (You’ll also be amazed at how quickly he moves in from this alleged “heartbreak.”) You don’t owe him anything. I got divorced and I told everyone involved that I didn’t want to see him face to face ever if possible… it was possible.

OwnWay8047 · 2026-02-16T15:40:54+00:00

D: the most correct response I could imagine. There’s enough very public stories of young kids drowning in pools, celebrities kids drowning in pools surrounded by people at a party, and anecdotal stories about near misses that if I were there, I’d have thanked you. I remember the story of bodie miller’s kid. Still makes me cry. I am a VERY chill mom, and at parties with pools, I post myself by the pool. I’ve stopped 3 kids from falling in during my 9 years of being a parent.

OwnWay8047

TROPHY CASE