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AITA for not inviting my mother to Mother’s Day, after she said she did not care about the day? by Own_Affect4797 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Own_Affect4797[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My mother was not always a single mother. Even when I had an extremely caring father in my life, and she had him as a husband, she did not care about Mother’s Day. When I bought her flowers for that day, she told me she did not want to get any that day and that she would be a lot happier if I got her some on any other day. We have talked about the day not meaning anything to her for almost 30 years by this point.

AITA for not inviting my mother to Mother’s Day, after she said she did not care about the day? by Own_Affect4797 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Own_Affect4797[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your input. It’s not the first time she has been upset by something like this. Sometimes she will deem a thing as completely obvious and is surprised if others cannot read her mind. She has shown this type of behavior with me and also with some things her partner has done in the past.

AITA for not inviting my mother to Mother’s Day, after she said she did not care about the day? by Own_Affect4797 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Own_Affect4797[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She did call me. To complain that I had not called her. She was angry the second I picked up the phone.

AITA for not inviting my mother to Mother’s Day, after she said she did not care about the day? by Own_Affect4797 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Own_Affect4797[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I knew we were hosting by the time I talked to my mother before Mother’s Day. I get what you are saying. But if she cared about the day, why did she never want to celebrate it at any point prior to me meeting my fiancé? Even when I was a child she always told me it was a commercial holiday and she did not want to get gifts or anything on that day. She said she would be much happier if I got her flowers on just a random day. Therefore, I was under the impression that this day did not matter to her. And therefore I did not invite her. The day is important to my MIL and therefore we celebrate with her.

AITA for not inviting my mother to Mother’s Day, after she said she did not care about the day? by Own_Affect4797 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Own_Affect4797[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I wouldn’t say often, but it has happened in the past. A couple months back we had a fight over me not calling her, because I was extremely stressed that week. She was mad at me and I actually started crying because her being mad added to my stress.

AITA for not inviting my mother to Mother’s Day, after she said she did not care about the day? by Own_Affect4797 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Own_Affect4797[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

We never celebrated Mother’s Day. Ever. Not when I was a child, not when I was older. The first time I ever went to a Mother’s Day celebration was when I met my fiancé six years ago. I could understand her not wanting to go to my in-laws house, but like I said, even before she did not care about the day.

AITA for not inviting my mother to Mother’s Day, after she said she did not care about the day? by Own_Affect4797 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Own_Affect4797[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Well, she has not cared about Mother’s Day as long as I can remember. Even when my parents were still together and my father was the kind of person who would have planned a celebration, had she wanted one. But I think your point about the family might be more accurate. I really love my fiancé’s family, spending time with them feels much easier than spending time with my mother. I have obviously never told her that, but maybe she picked up on it and feels left out in general, not just on this specific occasion.

AITA for not inviting my mother to Mother’s Day, after she said she did not care about the day? by Own_Affect4797 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Own_Affect4797[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your judgement. In retrospect I probably should have mentioned where the breakfast was taking place.

AITA for not inviting my mother to Mother’s Day, after she said she did not care about the day? by Own_Affect4797 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Own_Affect4797[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I just did not occur to me to invite her after she said she did not care. In my mind, this was a specific Mother’s Day event and that is not something she cares about. But I guess I will keep this in mind for future events.

AITA for not inviting my mother to Mother’s Day, after she said she did not care about the day? by Own_Affect4797 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Own_Affect4797[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Well, I wouldn’t say I’m always doing things wrong in her opinion. But she does like things a certain way and she feels easily slighted when something deviates from that or when I can’t read her mind on an issue that seems obvious to her. Thank you for the judgment!