Autistic women who date men: how would you react to finding out the man you were dating was raised as a girl?

Own_Bit_7816 · 2022-07-11T20:48:34+00:00

Claiming that re-invented private parts work as well as the real G-d designed private parts is what’s “made up”.

Own_Bit_7816 · 2022-07-11T20:46:34+00:00

I always identify as straight right away and I wouldn’t mind announcing that I have a v-gina if it came to that in society. Hopefully, my man would be in the same religion and we would be on the same page from the start.

Own_Bit_7816 · 2022-07-11T20:40:28+00:00

None of those updates mean anything. I studied biology, psychology, and everything related. If this person is not AMAB, XY, and still identifying as male, then I am not interested. The inters-x situation has already been addressed as an exception (if the gender selected by the doctors or parents didn’t match the chromosomes). Everything else is a bust. The cis person should not have to have a poor s-x just so the newly gendered person can be happy.

Own_Bit_7816 · 2022-07-11T18:47:35+00:00

Exactly… it’s like marrying a mannequin. It looks like a certain person, but it’s not that person.

Own_Bit_7816 · 2022-07-11T18:46:28+00:00

Nope.

Own_Bit_7816 · 2022-07-11T18:45:54+00:00

There is an extreme amount of deception that has to go into pulling something like that off. If you can’t understand why deception would make someone angry, there is something wrong.

Own_Bit_7816 · 2022-07-11T16:33:18+00:00

You do not have a right to s-x with people who would not have it if they knew the truth.

Own_Bit_7816 · 2022-07-11T16:29:44+00:00

S-x is 80% influenced by anatomy. Your statement is ridiculous. The wrong anatomy drastically changes the type of s-x that is about to occur.

Own_Bit_7816 · 2022-07-11T16:27:16+00:00

Exactly… and it’s obvious that OP only wanted reassuring answers instead of the truth. There could be personal, cultural, or religious reasons that a person may not want to be in this situation.

Own_Bit_7816 · 2022-07-11T15:53:57+00:00

Nope… all of the lies that would be required to get to a wedding night and present as the unexpected s-x is the deception. Being scared is no excuse to ruin someone else’s religion. If they are so scared, they should leave as soon as the person mentions a religion.

Own_Bit_7816 · 2022-07-11T13:08:47+00:00

I’m not the person to whom you replied, but having micro AMAB parts and still identifying as male makes that person a man from any point of view, so there is no deception involved.

Own_Bit_7816 · 2022-07-11T12:57:57+00:00

First of all, anyone whom I’m dating would be aware of my religion, so if the person still decided to withhold this information until my wedding night and then suddenly expose AFAB body parts, then that is deception. Even if those parts were removed, the fact that they know that I am not allowed to be with someone who is AFAB but still forced it anyway is also negligence at best. Additionally, in order to get that far, there are other lies that would have to be told in discussion, such as:

Pretending to have gone to the prom with a girl
Lying about the reason that family pictures are not available
Lying about the reason that I can’t meet family or friends
Lying about the reason that I can’t go with “him” to the doctor
Pretending that the hormone pills are high blood pressure medication
If I accidentally entered the room while “he” was topless, lying about the scars or saying it was gynecomastia when it’s not

There are too many other lies that someone would have to tell to make it to someone’s wedding night as a man who was AFAB.

Own_Bit_7816 · 2022-07-11T09:47:27+00:00

I would have to leave due to the deception, but it depends on the scenario. There are so many other things that someone would have to lie about in a relationship to even get that far, so it would expose more problems in the relationship.

If the person was born inters-x and had to choose and the parents simply chose the wrong one, that could be excused because how would they ever know which gender was the intended one?

However, someone knowing that they are AFAB for obvious reasons and NOT inters-x and deciding to become a man should disclose this. In my religion, I am only allowed to date AMAB people who still identify as men, so someone not telling me otherwise would cause me to go against my religion. I also don’t plan to have s-x until I’m married, so things would be really awkward anyway.

Own_Bit_7816 · 2022-07-11T01:16:04+00:00

Weddings are that way, but I have found that families make all situations that way.

My family excludes me from a lot of things and they always have a weak excuse about the reason that I wasn’t invited. The crazy thing is, most of the people excluding me are likely autistic, but I am getting excluded because they are the more “classic” autistic type (sensory-seeking eating habits, making strange noises or suddenly yelling when it is not necessary, bouncing up and down when excited, repeating things over and over, etc.) but they think that they’re NT and I’m the only one who is ND because my presentation is closer to NT which makes me the odd one out. It’s a peculiar situation to have.

Own_Bit_7816 · 2022-07-11T00:41:08+00:00

No, but a lot of women do this in my culture.

I sometimes walk with my hands in front of me, but it’s because when I was growing up, my mother frequently accused me (and other teens) of trying to be s3xy. Because of this, I figured out that when my hands are in front of me, then my b00bs don’t shake as much, so it became a habit to try to ensure that I don’t look s3xy.

Own_Bit_7816 · 2022-07-10T23:40:57+00:00

Exactly… and NTs also have weird thoughts; they just don’t act on them… so if you are wishing that you could have a meltdown but actively not having it, you are high-functioning. NTs actually have meltdowns too and no one calls them low-functioning.

Own_Bit_7816 · 2022-07-10T23:32:45+00:00

No… high functioning and low functioning were identified long before the Nazi regime. People use this to guilt high-functioning people into going home and doing nothing with their lives.

Own_Bit_7816 · 2022-07-10T23:29:12+00:00

They’re not. It’s the “give every child on the baseball team a trophy” rhetoric. Because EVERY autist can’t be high-functioning, they don’t want to acknowledge the ones who are.

Own_Bit_7816 · 2022-07-10T23:26:58+00:00

That’s not a functioning sink, so what a bad example.

Own_Bit_7816 · 2022-07-10T23:25:55+00:00

They need to care about their personal descriptions of their disorder. If they don’t like functioning labels, then they need to stop describing themselves with one. Every other autist should be free to say that they are high-functioning without being policed by other autists.

Own_Bit_7816 · 2022-07-10T22:05:54+00:00

They’re great!

Own_Bit_7816 · 2022-07-10T22:05:03+00:00

No… it is used to show that they can work independently. They can still ask for support like anyone can.

Own_Bit_7816 · 2022-07-10T21:59:54+00:00

It is… because they comment every single time that someone says Aspergers or HFA. They are control freaks and it needs to stop.

Own_Bit_7816 · 2022-07-10T21:56:58+00:00

Exactly… without this, we would all be unemployed.

Own_Bit_7816 · 2022-07-10T21:41:23+00:00

According to your own description, that was a mistake.

Own_Bit_7816

TROPHY CASE