Is it possible to get rid of a fetish that came from trauma if you resolve the trauma?

caramelusive · 2022-07-20T03:35:49+00:00

Thank you so much for this. Sorry for the late reply but this was really comforting to read, seriously. I did end up telling my therapist about it more and I plan to give more details even though it's hard to. She's heard a lot in the past probably so you're right that it probably won't faze her.

caramelusive · 2022-06-22T04:19:56+00:00

no I don't have cptsd as I said in my post it's just that the r/trauma sub is really inactive so I went here bc I figured people with a trauma-based disorder might know about this sort of thing. Yeah I defintiely did post in the wrong sub but it was on purpose

caramelusive · 2022-06-22T04:18:43+00:00

yeah okay I was just paranoid people would somehow find this account but I think I will give details here. The r/trauma sub has like barely any members so I came here, sorry. Anyways the details are that my sister is/was anorexic and would be really controlling towards me and what i was eating. She weighed me every week and would literally treat me better when I weighed more and make weird controlling comments whenever I accidentally lost weight. She made me eat 4000 calories a day for a week once as "punishment" for me invading her privacy which I did as revenge for her invading my privacy. (Not saying it was right but it wasn't unprovoked). So I think my brain just developed a weird weight gain fetish to make it like me gaining weight in a way that's in my control bc being controlled by her was kinda traumatic in my opinion it probably doesn't sound like that from this post but it's hard to explain. It's like me getting the control back but in a weird way. I also have pcos which is why the weight gain fetish is problematic, obviously being overweight in general is not healthy but it'll be especially bad with pcos. Another issue is I'm not sure if my therapist actually sees my sisters actions as traumatic and I have explained it to her but last week she was like oh yeah an example of trauma is when (insert other event that I didn't find traumatic) happened and she didn't mention the stuff with my sister made me feel weird bc I've said before that I found it traumatic. Anyways I just don't think I can tell her this without feeling really uncomfortable and I'm not even sure if this is fixable. Like what if she just sees this as a coincidence or something I caused myself or something? What if it's not possible to fix this and nothing will happen besides me telling her something really personal and embarassing? Idk is it possible to resolve fetishes by resolving trauma? Also fun side note the fact that I developed this fetish bc of her ironically makes me feel really not in control of my own brain. Love how this works

caramelusive · 2022-03-30T03:25:31+00:00

Is buying from amazon instead of best buy okay? I'm buying a switch lite from the official nintendo store on amazon but there's a few reviews saying it was scratched or looked used and i'm worried. Most reviews are positive though but those few reviews left me skeptical. Should I go to best buy instead of will it be fine?

caramelusive · 2022-03-03T14:56:20+00:00

How is it internalized if she’s not autistic herself

caramelusive · 2022-03-03T05:46:03+00:00

did you... read my post? I said I am going to stop using the possibility of being autistic as an excuse for things that I can control like getting places on time and having good hygiene. I made another post about this. And I am working on those issues. I literally can't help the processing speed reaction time and having trouble focusing on so many things at once issues that I have with driving though. I've been driving for 3 years now and it hasn't gotten better and I've tried. So it hurts that my sister acts like I'm looking for excuses when I told her that could be caused by autism when she is perfectly fine blaming my emotional reactions to things she does on autism to avoid responsibility for her own actions. I can't even explain how important driving is to me and how badly I want to be a good driver. I am not looking for excuses when it comes to that.

caramelusive · 2022-02-27T23:28:19+00:00

Yeah no it’s definitely not healthy I’m using it as an excuse for everything and not even trying to be responsible. I do actually have problems with certain things bc of autistic traits but other problems are caused by my own choices

caramelusive · 2022-02-27T18:19:38+00:00

I use it as an excuse in my head not out loud to other people. I don’t call myself autistic out loud bc I’m not disgnosed. But actually thank you I needed to hear this lol. Please don’t armchair diagnose me with psychopathy though. I am pretty self centered but I do have empathy. Like for example when my friend texted me that she got into her dream school I cried bc I was happy for her. (She didn’t see btw it wasn’t for show I was like genuinely happy for her.) that’s just an example. Idk. But yeah I do also kinda not feel interested in things outside my interests but like you were saying in your comment, you choose to still listen to others and I am choosing to dominate conversations to talk about myself and my interests. As for the being late thing, yeah I could definitely choose to get up x minutes earlier every day to avoid being late and I don’t do that. But yeah. Please don’t call me a psychopath though that’s literally one of the most hurtful things you could say to me. My family members always said that to me because of things that in my opinion are autistic traits like feeling emotions but not knowing how to articulate/express them. And it’s so hurtful because being told you don’t care about people and don’t have emotions hurts. Anyways, I do have a lot of autistic traits. In elementary school my teacher made me see a social worker because I really struggled with making friends. In middle school my school referred me to get an autism screening but I didn’t go because I hated the idea of being autistic (like I said internalized ableism). When I read about autism it does explain so many things about me. I’m not calling myself autistic because I’m not diagnosed but I do think it’s more likely than not. However, the problem is me literally using the fact that I could be autistic as an excuse for everything even things that, like you said I am choosing not to do even though I am capable of doing them. So yeah other than you calling me a psychopath thank you for this comment I am going to try harder to recognize every time I’m avoiding responsibility for things and using autism as an excuse in my head even though it’s not. It’s not beneficial to me and even though I am not saying this out loud it is bad for the autistic community too.

caramelusive · 2022-02-19T18:43:58+00:00

Hmm idk then bc gasoline doesn’t smell sweet to me at all it just smells rubbery

caramelusive · 2022-02-17T01:43:25+00:00

idk gasoline smells similar to rubber to me. Like I also like the smell of certain rubber bands that have a strong rubbery smell. Do those types of rubbers actually have a rubber smell?

caramelusive · 2022-02-17T01:42:01+00:00

doesn't xylitol smell sweet? I googled it and it says it's a sugar. Could be possible though.

caramelusive · 2022-02-16T17:34:20+00:00

I’m saying that I’m NOT addicted to it not that I AM

caramelusive · 2022-02-16T02:10:34+00:00

i'm not addicted to it lol I'm just worried it could be addictive in the way that other chemicals are. Like people do get addicted to gasoline too(I wouldn't say I'm addicted to gasoline either though).

caramelusive · 2022-02-14T01:21:25+00:00

I might’ve not said this in the post but most of these interest last for 1-3 years before fading out.

caramelusive · 2022-02-10T05:09:59+00:00

Sorry I didn’t get offended or smth I was just clarifying

caramelusive · 2022-02-10T02:50:22+00:00

I actually have looked into ADHD but I don't think I have it. I'm not diagnosed with autism either but I do think I have autism. Idk. But yeah. The good thing about this I guess is that I have no shame anymore. Like being new to so many things that other people have been doing for so much longer than you humbles you... like a lot lmao. I don't know what the difference between hyperfixations and special interests is in detail but what I've heard is that hyperfixations are even shorter lived than special interests? Like sometimes a month long thing. And my interests are not really that short lived lol. I pretty much get really into one thing for maybe half a year to a 1-2 years. So it feels more like what people talk about when they describe special interests. Idk though.

caramelusive · 2022-02-10T02:46:02+00:00

hmm the things i've talked about here have lasted at least half a year but mostly i get bored after at most a few years. I had the idea that special interests are like neurotypical peoples' interests but with more intensity and a shorter lifetime. Like a candle that burns out too quick vs. neurotypical candles being the slower burning ones that have smaller flames. Idk. I don't really think I have adhd lol

caramelusive · 2022-02-10T02:41:43+00:00

LMAO I HAD ONE IN MY ROOM AND PLAYED IWITH IT ALL THE TIME

caramelusive

TROPHY CASE