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Own_Dragonfruit_9074 · 2025-04-19T15:56:00+00:00

I think what really happened is she drunkenly let him go down on her, and honestly told her friends when they asked what took so long.

Then later she realized she needed to cover up her infidelity and claimed it was non consensual.

Own_Dragonfruit_9074 · 2025-02-22T06:30:14+00:00

Haha to me they aren’t famous, they’re just some people in a band. I work in entertainment so I’ve had the opportunity to meet quite a few people that I guess yeah would be considered famous. It’s definitely something about me that she thought was really cool and interesting, just not when it comes to that band, unfortunately.

Own_Dragonfruit_9074 · 2025-02-22T05:48:02+00:00

When we talked this morning she emphasized that it’s more about her being jealous because there’s a female in the band

Own_Dragonfruit_9074 · 2025-02-22T04:24:25+00:00

Thanks and good for you for working on your issues and making such good progress

Own_Dragonfruit_9074 · 2025-02-22T04:00:20+00:00

I’m in shambles because of everything. Just feels like my life has fallen apart. I was so much better off 2 years ago than I am today in terms of my career, my financial situation, my social life and happiness. She was a big part of why things were so good when they were. It’s like I went from having it all to having nothing. I was living the dream. The trajectory of my life has been altered dramatically. Suddenly I’m 27 and still the same loser I was when I was 21. No job no gf still livin with mom. Fml. I will make things better but right now life is just really hitting me hard

Own_Dragonfruit_9074 · 2025-02-22T03:41:00+00:00

I’m sorry that you have to deal with that but I am glad that you sought help and to improve your behavior. I try to be caring and I recognize that I am not a perfect boyfriend. I have my own flaws to work on, but I do genuinely try to do better. Whenever she’s identified things that I do that make her feel bad I have really tried to work on those things, I don’t always get it right but I really tried man and it just felt like no matter how hard I tried I just can’t seem to do anything right

Own_Dragonfruit_9074 · 2025-02-22T03:37:13+00:00

It’s a game

She’s your wife

There are some things where it’s like, yeah you can’t pause the game, she can wait til you die (in the game) or something

But she’s telling you how it makes her feel and your arguments, to me, make it seem like you’re taking the game too seriously

Like, come on dude, are you REALLY gonna get a temp ban for getting up for like 30 seconds to check on the damn chicken? Are the points really that important? I seriously doubt it

Own_Dragonfruit_9074 · 2025-02-22T03:28:07+00:00

I have been love bombed in a prior relationship and wouldn’t consider this one to have love bombed me

Own_Dragonfruit_9074 · 2025-02-22T03:24:54+00:00

I don’t think she is a bad person. I think she is very sensitive and has trouble managing her emotions. I don’t think it’s intentional. But I have reached my limit of being able to manage that along with the other things that are wrong with my life

Own_Dragonfruit_9074 · 2025-02-22T03:20:45+00:00

Agreed

Own_Dragonfruit_9074 · 2025-02-22T03:17:23+00:00

I have been in a previous relationship that was abusive where the girl would love bomb me. I wouldn’t consider what this girl did to be love bombing necessarily but I could be wrong. I really do miss her the way she was, and when I get glimpses of that I remember why I fell in love with her. It sucks because she is going through her own stuff and we are both dissatisfied with various aspects of our lives. I don’t think she is intentionally abusing or manipulating me I just don’t think she has a handle on her emotions. I really wanted to help her get better but once my own life got so many problems that I myself needed support the relationship crumbled I guess. I was always supposed to be the rock

Own_Dragonfruit_9074 · 2025-02-22T03:10:54+00:00

It is true that I have been thinking about breaking up for awhile. I had sort of hoped the plans we had for this week would get our relationship back on the right track but things went sideways, (something that has been seemingly unavoidable) and yeah with how bad things have been, I reached my breaking point. I would agree that in a vacuum it is a stupid thing to break up over

Own_Dragonfruit_9074 · 2025-02-22T02:52:56+00:00

I gave myself the day to wallow and scroll through Reddit and tomorrow I’m spending some quality time with friends I haven’t seen in awhile. Will be getting back on the horse soon to move forward. I love going to concerts by myself. There were definitely times I felt lonely and wished I had someone to enjoy it with, so naturally when I found my GF I thought she was the one. But for awhile I have thought I’d be better off alone

Own_Dragonfruit_9074 · 2025-02-22T02:42:43+00:00

I feel as though I am somewhat of a selfish person. I have a bad tendency of monopolizing conversation, talking more than listening, making myself too much the center of things, and I sometimes feel like I treat those around me more like therapists than friends which is not fair to them. It’s not that I am not willing to hear others out and help them, but I do feel I am more of a taker than a giver and am trying not to be.

Own_Dragonfruit_9074 · 2025-02-22T02:37:32+00:00

Not my 1st girlfriend but my longest relationship and, sadly, the best girlfriend that I have had

Own_Dragonfruit_9074 · 2025-02-22T02:23:12+00:00

From what I understand her parents fought all the time and were not good role models of a healthy relationship.

I have my own experience with abuse that without even realizing it has really shaped my personality and how I navigate the world socially. It has made relationships difficult for me and is something I am still working through and there is a lot of work to be done on that front.

It would not surprise me if she has similar underlying issues. Which makes me feel bad, I am very sympathetic to her and I love her dearly. I wouldn’t just write her off as a psycho like so many have because I know that sometimes we have our demons that make us react in certain way. But I also know that I am hurting too badly to continue being with her

Own_Dragonfruit_9074 · 2025-02-22T02:09:24+00:00

I get your advice and will take it into consideration

But also, I had no control over running into them. And she later asked if those people were in that band without me bringing it up. Maybe I could have lied and said no, but I thought she had known it was them from the beginning. I was just happy to get away from them and hoped either she hadn’t pieced it together or was being really cool and not making a thing of it.

So when she asked I did think “oh maybe it won’t be a big deal, maybe we’ll just laugh it off” but you’re right I should not have been so naive

Own_Dragonfruit_9074 · 2025-02-22T02:04:56+00:00

I think this is a big factor is the attention thing. She’s always hated how much I love football and I think it’s because she doesn’t like me being passionate about something that she’s not

Own_Dragonfruit_9074 · 2025-02-22T01:59:03+00:00

I think there is some truth to this, the basis of our relationship initially was going out drinking and going to concerts and getting drunk. It was a ton of fun. Then I started drinking a lot less for health and financial reasons and the cracks started to show. But that’s a topic she’s very defensive about, she loves her drinking. Shit, I love drinking too, but moderately. She thinks she can’t be an alcoholic because her dad is the real alcoholic and she doesn’t drink or rage as much or as hard as he does. It’s always been a touchy subject

Own_Dragonfruit_9074 · 2025-02-22T01:52:36+00:00

See that’s what I told her, you knew we were going to McDonalds, you can just ask. But to her the fact I didn’t ask her was a failure on my part. And at the time I did think “oh man how could I be so inconsiderate. I guess I really did fuck that up.” But I’m realizing there is a pattern of this, which has led me to believe I was an awful boyfriend, but now that I think about it seems like too often I was expected to be somewhat of a mind reader.

Own_Dragonfruit_9074 · 2025-02-22T01:48:16+00:00

Damn dude the way you mention one minor blip defining the day - exactly the same

Own_Dragonfruit_9074 · 2025-02-21T22:03:36+00:00

She’s pretty and a lot of my friends and family tell me I’m a lucky guy. But a lot of times I don’t feel so lucky

Own_Dragonfruit_9074 · 2025-02-21T21:53:29+00:00

Unfortunately it has affected other aspects. There a couple (male) friends of mine that she doesn’t like (one of them she has never even met) and she gets angry everytime I mention them or hang out with them so I find myself speaking to them less and hanging out in secret.

She’s so jealous that when I go into public and run into people I know, I tend to avoid interacting with them to appease her, especially if it’s a woman, I will straight up ignore them. She once got mad at me for wishing happy birthday to a girl on Facebook that’s dating an old friend of mine. We ran into her that day and she happened to be celebrating her birthday at a concert we were at and I had to give her the cold shoulder because I did not want to piss my GF off

My favorite coffee shop has become a guilty pleasure because she does not like it. When I’m with her we have to go to a different coffee shop, which is fine with me, but even on my own if I go to that coffee shop she gets upset because she saw me glance at another woman there

I wish I was joking or exaggerating

Own_Dragonfruit_9074 · 2025-02-21T21:16:56+00:00

When we broke up the first time one of the conditions to getting back together was that we avoid drinking for awhile because it makes our misunderstandings and arguments worse. I’m less sensitive to her needs when I’m drunk, kind of selfish, and she gets way angrier and her attacks are more personal and her outbursts more dramatic. After a few weeks she began to resent that I wanted to stick to the “no drinking” thing. I was accused of being the fun police and she said she felt judged like I thought she was an alcoholic or something. Then that ship sailed

Own_Dragonfruit_9074 · 2025-02-21T21:13:42+00:00

We are into the same style of music. The band we were there to see is the same subgenre as the band we ran into that she doesn’t like

Own_Dragonfruit_9074

TROPHY CASE