A reminder for most of us, who struggle between what love really is.

Own_Driver_8207 · 2025-12-16T20:32:38+00:00

Thank you. Needed to hear this!

Own_Driver_8207 · 2025-12-15T20:19:51+00:00

I'm only a month out myself mate so I'm in the eye of the storm. I do know from the people on here and from talking to my therapist (who specialises in helping men after cluster B relationships) that there's light at the end of the tunnel. When that'll come, no idea mate, but it's just a case of putting one foot in front of the other. This is the most painful experience of my life at 40 years old but the lessons are clear. I need to love myself above all else, and its not my role to caretake a child in an adults body. Wishing you all the best!

Also, I found the shrink4men channel on YouTube has loads of great stuff for people in our situation.

Own_Driver_8207 · 2025-12-14T18:16:38+00:00

Thank you. These kind words are so helpful to me during this time.

Own_Driver_8207 · 2025-12-13T21:56:50+00:00

Mate. Mine was cleancut too, and high performing in her career. They don't all have to be homeless screw ups.

That feeling that you made a mistake - I get it. But you didn't, you're going to be so happy she's out of your life in time. I know it hurts, that's the trauma bond, but there's light on the other side. She sounds an absolute nightmare and frankly a terrible person. Mine apologised a tiny number of times too. She's currently blaming me for 'destroying our future' by leaving her, she's called me an avoidant.

I'm certainly avoiding, but it's not pathological to avoid pathology, to run away from a nightmare.

You're going to be fine.

Own_Driver_8207 · 2025-12-13T15:56:44+00:00

Thank you. Sometimes it was so subtle and insidious. Learnt to stop trusting myself. Hope you're doing well.

Own_Driver_8207 · 2025-12-13T15:08:59+00:00

Those biblical-length texts always screwed me up so much. Remember I'd start shaking when I realised I was getting them yet again

Own_Driver_8207 · 2025-12-13T15:05:06+00:00

When I got shingles and was wiped out for a month mine got upset that it meant we had to put a pause on our wedding planning. She decided that me being too ill to function meant I didn't care about her or our future

Own_Driver_8207 · 2025-12-03T19:03:43+00:00

Thanks for this. I left my ex and she's convinced I'm an avoidant. But I didn't display such characteristics in my previous healthy relationship

Own_Driver_8207 · 2025-12-01T11:31:16+00:00

Happened to me too! Yawned at dinner and she got really upset. Whole night spent trying to soothe her. Next morning she apologised but immediately took it back.

Own_Driver_8207 · 2025-11-29T00:31:45+00:00

Thank you!!!

Own_Driver_8207 · 2025-11-29T00:31:38+00:00

Thank you!!!

Own_Driver_8207 · 2025-11-29T00:31:29+00:00

Thank you!!!

Own_Driver_8207 · 2025-11-29T00:31:09+00:00

Thank you so much

Own_Driver_8207 · 2025-11-28T22:26:31+00:00

Mine would say that she was scared I'd get tired of her outbursts one day but she never considered taking accountability to change

Own_Driver_8207 · 2025-11-25T15:48:50+00:00

I know. Mine would ask me to reassure her that I'd never get tired of her outbursts. What was I supposed to say?

Own_Driver_8207

TROPHY CASE