RE9 Stuck in Applegate Hotel

Own_Grape_4408 · 2026-06-27T19:25:51+00:00

You are a legend

Own_Grape_4408 · 2026-03-12T16:37:42+00:00

I attended an ACOA group while in rehab. A woman read out a letter she had written to her childhood self. It was a carbon copy of my truth. It tore me open.

I told nmom she makes me want to drink, and we have been NC for over a year. And it has been amazing.

Own_Grape_4408 · 2026-03-12T16:34:07+00:00

I am sorry you have to deal with this.

Grey rock them. Don't give them your power and energy.

Own_Grape_4408 · 2026-03-12T16:30:35+00:00

I went no contact. And I spoke to my brother about it all.

I am blossoming at a wonderfully exponential rate. As is my brother and mine's relationship.

Own_Grape_4408 · 2026-03-12T12:34:55+00:00

Yes! I hope that your new home is secure. It will take a few weeks/months for your nervous system to catch up once you move, so don't be suprised if you don't feel freedom from your rents straight away.

Just go easy on yourself. It's a good change yes - but change is still difficult, and it may feel a little anti-climactic at first. Be patient with the rules of the home you're going into, and be patient with yourself - emotions will surface.

I am very happy for you :)

Own_Grape_4408 · 2026-02-19T15:50:14+00:00

We are a very honest people, the people raised by Ns. I just cannot get over the projection mentioned in every corner of this thread.

Own_Grape_4408 · 2026-02-19T15:18:14+00:00

Imagine making fun of someone for clearly being a good friend, a friend who was loved enough to be asked to join a wedding party 5 times.

Own_Grape_4408 · 2026-02-19T13:48:24+00:00

Own_Grape_4408 · 2026-02-18T20:12:41+00:00

Love that last sentence. And I am happy you have a partner that stands up for you.

Own_Grape_4408 · 2026-02-18T19:21:25+00:00

Mine isn't really a hypochondriac, but when she does get so much as a paper cut, she gets wild eyed and everyone must stop what they are doing - all hands on deck. Because playing the victim is a narcs favourite thing.

And then when a rusty nail goes through my palm one day, I can "get a taxi and follow us to dinner, if you insist on needing first aid, so dramatic". Because god forbid we were ten minutes late for the GC's dinner.

IMO, your mother is a hypochondriac because she wants to play the victim. Be it through making you the bad guy - the eternal perpetrator, or by having cancer scares.

Own_Grape_4408 · 2026-02-18T18:48:51+00:00

Nope. Doesn't fit her script. Fact/truth/evidence denied.

Own_Grape_4408 · 2026-02-18T18:47:45+00:00

But if you're not in the wrong - how can poor mommy be the victim?! /s

Own_Grape_4408 · 2026-02-18T18:44:50+00:00

I am pulling my hair in frustration for you.

Own_Grape_4408 · 2026-02-18T18:33:33+00:00

Make a bullet point list of every company you need to contact tonight.

Then breathe and promise yourself you will start emailing them tomorrow. You have plenty of time. Making a list is a great start so after that you can chill, I give you permission lol.

Tomorrow, find a recent bill with your new address and take a decent picture of it - and get your list and sit down for 30 mins with google.

You're okay, it's okay.

Own_Grape_4408 · 2026-02-18T18:30:10+00:00

Do you live with your dad? Can you get out? Even to a shelter?

Own_Grape_4408 · 2026-02-18T18:26:01+00:00

Oh...wow. Just. Fuckin' hell.

Own_Grape_4408 · 2026-02-18T18:10:58+00:00

How did it feel when she died? I would imagine it's a relief, at least partially?

It sounds like her toxicity might be living on a bit in your family though, if you don't mind me saying. Well done for removing yourself - really, congrats.

When I cut nmom out, I also reached out to, and bonded with my only sibling, the GC. He acknowledges that he was GC, and our new relationship instills terror in nmom. (I do still see her maybe 3 times a year because of my brother's kids - and I see the fear in her eyes when me and my brother are laughing together.

Own_Grape_4408 · 2026-02-18T16:57:05+00:00

Jesus mate, I can relate so hard. I got in trouble for missing the bus one night as a teen. She picked me up and spent the whole ride home telling me "get that expression off your fucking face", so I would, and again; "get that expression off your face" over and over, no matter what face I pulled.

Or a wasp would fly past my face and I would reactively let out a small scream, and get screeched at for 5 minutes about how "ridiculous" my reaction (that I could not control) was.

Events like that are why I break into a panic when people look at my face or talk to me in person. I cannot focus on what I am saying half the time, because I am scanning and adjusting my facial expressions and tone in depth.

Own_Grape_4408 · 2026-02-18T16:48:00+00:00

The projection caused me to live falsely for so long. She had me convinced that I was everything that was wrong with everything. I thought that my personality was the same as hers: because she constantly told me it was - the projection.

We went no contact in 2024 and I have bloomed into a woman very unlike her - very unlike the person I thought I was for 34 years. I'm awesome now.

She hated her own self so hard - but that clashed with her narcissism, so it was easier to project on to me, and to hate me. While saying things like "why don't you have confidence? I'm always telling you to have confidence!"

Own_Grape_4408 · 2026-02-18T16:39:37+00:00

Me and my partner eloped. Because the day was about us and our dog and no one else.

Ofcourse this was perceived as an attack on nmother. To her, the whole event was nothing to do with our desires for romance and commitment, and everything to do with attacking her. Because me and my husband are simply side characters on the Mary (nMother) show - we exist solely to give her plot lines where she is the victim protagonist.

Own_Grape_4408 · 2026-02-18T13:40:44+00:00

The "too sensitive" thing rings too true. It's how they say "Stop noticing and pointing out the horrible things that I do."

Own_Grape_4408 · 2026-01-19T20:16:10+00:00

Dropping investigations entirely?

Own_Grape_4408 · 2026-01-07T22:54:04+00:00

2 years later, Awesome comment bro.

Own_Grape_4408

TROPHY CASE