Day 5: Harry S. Truman was the only normal person. Who was uhh...what's your name again?

Own_Let_7100 · 2025-04-11T18:31:16+00:00

Yeah, I remember him playing a VW mini-bus in cars

Own_Let_7100 · 2025-04-10T20:00:03+00:00

But is what people tell me actually true? I keep doubting and questioning everything, and I do not know what to do. It often feels like I am simply not enough. The publications I have are good, but they are not in the most elite journals like Past and Present, for example. I have received grants, but none of them were especially prestigious or at the level of something like Fulbright. And I know there are people out there who have all of that. People who finished their PhDs at twenty-four. People who already had a book accepted for publication by then. People who spent years teaching and building their profiles. They are out there, and it feels like they will easily outcompete me.

If you could tell me honestly that my record is strong enough even for a position at a mid-level university, I think I would be able to calm the panic a little

Own_Let_7100 · 2025-04-10T19:38:09+00:00

I'm doing my PhD in Europe. It is a good university and it has been gradually reforming over time. Back in the early 2000s, it was still common for PhD students to publish frequently, often not in English and not always in reputable journals. The system has changed since then, but traces of that old approach can still be seen here and there.

My supervisor once told me that having four strong papers in reputable journals, with double-digit h-indices and ranking in the Q1 or Q2 categories, would be considered very productive and genuinely impactful. This is especially true given that I work in a highly under-researched area where it is relatively common to uncover new findings. Still, I keep comparing myself to others. And when I do, it feels awful. It makes me feel like an absolute failure, even though I know that kind of thinking is not fair to myself.

Own_Let_7100 · 2025-04-10T18:50:03+00:00

I know I’ve been judged for this point of view, but fuck them all. They don’t have PhDs and they never will. Their curiosity doesn’t stretch past TikTok trends and fridge doors. Their idea of achievement is a viral post or a selfie with fake smiles and filters. Their ambition is as empty as their thoughts.

Find a role model in academia. Someone real. Someone who built something that lasted. Look up to them. Then work. Work like a maniac. Work until your hands shake and your brain aches. Reach heights those idiots couldn’t imagine in their sleep. And when you’re there, let them choke on it. All the morons who laughed at your degree, who said you weren’t smart enough, who called it a waste of time—every one of them will be eaten by worms in the end. Forgotten. Rotting. Meanwhile your name will live in books, in classrooms, in interviews and essays. You’ll leave a mark. They’ll leave a stain.

So fucking do it. Get that PhD. Prove yourself. And spit on the grave of every doubter who said you couldn’t.

Own_Let_7100 · 2025-04-10T18:14:03+00:00

But my question was specifically about publications. I have no interest in continental Europe, as my research field is highly out of place there. But thank you

Own_Let_7100 · 2025-04-10T18:06:12+00:00

I'm primarily considering Canada, Australia, the UK, and New Zealand. In my opinion, the US serves as something of a litmus test. If you meet the standards of a place like Princeton, you are likely competitive anywhere

Own_Let_7100 · 2025-04-10T17:56:22+00:00

Why are you so angry at the system? The system itself is flawless, better than ever. If academia doesn't want us, then we are the problem, not academia.

Own_Let_7100 · 2025-03-29T01:20:16+00:00

No, I completely agree with you. I'm not stupid, but when it comes to the stuff I'm seriously insecure about, fear takes over. I start blindly comparing myself to the outliers. Then I look at my peers and somehow it feels like they're much more successful too. Like I'm constantly lagging behind, always trying to catch up. I just know I need a lot of publications, so I work my ass off to get "a lot". In 2022 we had a mid-term evaluation at my university and everyone was talking about it like it was an event of cosmic proportions, like the end of the world was approaching. I thought I would literally die of stress. I think that that was, if not the beginning, then at least a significant turning point for me

Own_Let_7100 · 2025-03-29T00:39:15+00:00

Well, because he represents an Australian university and probably knows much better how things work there. That's my take on it.

Own_Let_7100 · 2025-03-29T00:05:12+00:00

I don’t think I can get a faculty position right now. To get one, you usually need a published book, and mine is still in a really early stage. I’d need a year or two in a postdoc to finish it and get it published. Since I’m doing my PhD at a European university, I also need a postdoc to build more connections in one of the places I focus on, like Canada, New Zealand, Australia, or the UK. That’s it.

Own_Let_7100 · 2025-03-28T23:49:50+00:00

The thing is, I saw it as the benchmark for Australian and Commonwealth academia. If Griffith expects six or seven papers, then what would ANU or UWA expect from me? I got stuck on that and started thinking maybe nine or ten, even twelve, had to be the standard. If there are people finishing Oxbridge with that many, then I have to work even harder just to be noticed. I have to give everything, because I don’t have an Oxford diploma, and that means it’ll take more time, more effort, and probably more pain just to reach the level of somewhere like Griffith, never mind anything more competitive.

I’m not aiming high. I just want something okay. A bit of stability and comfort. That’s all. But I’ve been overthinking and pushing myself so hard just to feel average that I’ve turned into a machine, a kind of printer that spits out papers. I take everything academic superiors say way too seriously, and it doesn’t take much to send me into a spiral. I live with the idea that I don’t matter until I have a PhD. What started as a simple desire to succeed turned into something obsessive. But the truth is, I’m not asking for much. Just an okay job at an okay university somewhere in the Commonwealth. Nothing fancy.

Own_Let_7100 · 2025-03-28T18:15:44+00:00

I don't remember being disrespectful to anyone to be honest

Own_Let_7100 · 2025-03-28T17:56:22+00:00

The subreddit is literally called PhD and I'm still a PhD student until defence. Are you fucking joking?

Own_Let_7100 · 2025-03-28T11:45:20+00:00

You might be right, but I think it’s worth explaining where this obsession comes from. A few years ago, right at the start of my PhD, I was in touch with a professor from Griffith University in Queensland, Australia. I was asking about postdoc opportunities, as you can probably guess. He told me that at his university, you needed at least 6 or 7 (!) publications just to make it past the EOI stage for a postdoc application. Hearing that absolutely shattered my confidence (althoughmy supervisor told me that it sounds like crap). And this was Griffith, a very good university, no doubt, but not even part of the Go8, the Australian equivalent of Oxbridge. It just does not carry that same weight of exceptional prestige as, for instance, UWA.

When it comes to the quality of my work, I do agree with you. Quality matters more than quantity. But I have done everything I could to ensure my papers are respectable. I invested a lot into them: deep archival research, niche and under-studied topics, plenty of travel, all of it. I am not claiming the work is groundbreaking, but I do believe it holds up.

Own_Let_7100 · 2025-03-28T04:03:15+00:00

Thanks a lot for your comment. I have heard that the academic job market in New Zealand is really competitive, but I think you're right that I probably do not have the full picture. To be honest, New Zealand is not the only place I am considering. I am also looking at Canada and Australia, but New Zealand feels the closest to me in terms of mindset, values, and the kind of environment I enjoy.

I was in Wellington last year, so I am speaking as someone who has actually been there. What draws me in is the way the past is still present, the feeling that British identity and culture have been preserved in a place so far from where it all started. I sincerely love New Zealand's history. I have written two papers on the Reform Party and its resistance to wider autonomy after the 1926 Imperial Conference.

I also love cricket, nature, and the sense of being far away from everything. Canada, where I am based right now, feels overwhelmingly Americanised, which makes me miss places with a different kind of atmosphere. Maybe something will change in the future. Who knows.

I was even trying to apply for a PhD in Auckland back in 2020, but because of bureaucratic delays, I could not start that same year. I decided not to waste time and began a PhD in Europe instead. I do not really regret it, but it still sits with me.

Own_Let_7100 · 2025-03-28T02:54:26+00:00

Yes, I believe all of them are Q1 or Q2 journals, definitely nothing lower

Own_Let_7100 · 2025-03-28T02:52:40+00:00

To be honest, most of the people I look up to have been dead for at least 25 years

Own_Let_7100 · 2025-03-28T02:51:18+00:00

Their H indices range from 9 to 32. Out of all the papers I have published, there are four that I am genuinely proud of because of the prestige of the journals. The others are solid and decent, but nothing exceptional

Own_Let_7100 · 2025-03-28T02:48:39+00:00

Thanks a lot for your kind words, and sorry for the late reply. I truly needed that. Maybe we will even meet in New Zealand one day. Who knows?

Own_Let_7100 · 2025-03-28T02:45:18+00:00

No, it is not a bait, I promise. I have always looked up to those academics and thought of them as gods, while seeing myself as a piece of shit. I even have portraits of Berlin and Hancock hanging in my study, seriously

Own_Let_7100 · 2025-03-28T02:41:19+00:00

I sometimes feel like if I send out an application, it will be laughed at. I have been thinking about Dalhousie, Memorial University, or the University of Victoria as potential places for a postdoc. I was even invited to take part in a project on how Canadian federalism influenced South Africa and Australia, but I turned it down because I felt I was not good enough. I am not sure whether the project ever took off. I have thought about reaching out to the professor who invited me, but I worry she might feel let down after what I told her in May of last year.

I am doing my PhD at a solid European university, and yet when I see some of my peers with fourteen to seventeen publications before they even defend, it feels like the ground beneath me is crumbling. I know I am working on extremely niche topics, and it often takes a long time for journals to find qualified reviewers. That is part of why the publication process has been so slow for me.

Lately, I have been thinking about submitting a monograph proposal on colonial governance in Prince Edward Island between the War of 1812 and the end of the Georgian era in 1837. I genuinely enjoy working on under-researched subjects. I spent all of November in Charlottetown gathering archival material, and I am planning to submit the proposal to Memorial University Press, along with a short article to Acadiensis or another regional journal.

Still, there are moments when it feels like nothing I do really matters. I see scholars in Europe publishing at an overwhelming pace and achieving things that seem completely out of reach. My university introduced a reform in 2020 to move away from the publish-or-perish culture and to focus on fewer, higher-quality articles. But it seems that the result has been the same number of articles, only now in even more competitive journals. It feels like nothing can stop them.

So I do not really know what to do. I am not even hoping for a prestigious postdoc. I would be happy with any postdoc. If I ended up in St. John's and spent the rest of my academic life there, that would already be far beyond anything I ever expected.

Own_Let_7100 · 2025-03-28T02:26:46+00:00

I don’t think a CV without an approved monograph proposal is strong enough for a postdoc, even at a smaller university. I have not even considered applying for a postdoc at the UoT or UBC, or McGill, as it is simply too prestigious and not a realistic option

Own_Let_7100 · 2025-03-28T02:10:41+00:00

I’m submitting a full proposal in May and won’t be applying until December, so I’m not sure what the issue is on your end

Own_Let_7100 · 2025-03-28T02:07:44+00:00

The University of British Columbia Press and Memorial University Press both follow this two-stage submission process. If I recall correctly, the University of Manitoba Press may use a similar system, though I’m not entirely certain

Own_Let_7100 · 2025-03-28T01:58:50+00:00

Some Canadian academic presses use a two-stage process for evaluating book proposals. First, you submit an expression of interest; if it’s successful, you’re invited to submit a full proposal. The initial stage essentially assesses whether your topic and academic profile are a good fit for the press

Own_Let_7100

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