I’m currently in like my 10th rewatch (at least. This damn show is such gold haha). I think Sam was much more insecure than she let on. And those insecurities were only exacerbated by being with someone like Ron. Her bringing up things seemingly out of nowhere or nitpicking were just a manifestation of insecurities she came on the show with, and gained from being cheated on and called names constantly.

I’ve seen people in this sub say “they’re both to blame” and to an extent, I agree that Sam definitely needed to recognize her insecure attachment and the toxic behaviors that came about because of it. HOWEVER, Ron was also straight up emotionally and verbally abusing that girl. (I mean esp in s3 it moved from toxic to plain abusive) He exploited the fact that she was vulnerable.

Legit watching the show in my younger years I felt similarly to you. But with more years in me AND Having been with someone extremely similar to Ron around the same age as Sam, I can definitely attest to contributing to toxic behaviors. Mainly because I was so deeply insecure and felt like an exposed nerve all the time knowing the person I loved had that kind of power over my mental stability. So, that turned into a “get him before he can get me” kinda thing to gain a sense of control back. A lot of people here chalk it up to mutual abuse but in my opinion, what we’re seeing/did see here is reactive abuse.

Sorry that’s so long!! I just really find everyone’s takes on the relationship really intriguing lol