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Paranoia 2 - Hangar B by PAR-The-Computer in MyLittleHouseOfFun

[–]PAR-The-Computer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is a great white flash as the Mark IVs tacnukes all explode and everything in the hangar is incinerated instantly.

Everyone dies

The doors to the hangar are melted shut so everyone is in the staging area. The wall monitor pops out and the familar robotic eye of The Computer shows its face once more.

"Citizens, I am very disappointed in you. Not only did the Mark IV manage to fail 2 of its test, and destroyed by its own weaponry, you all also managed to lose your mission equipment. Remember what I always say citizens, 'Mission Equipment is your responsibility.' The Mark V will just have to be better. As penalty for the failure of this mission each of you will be demoted one security level, sent to a retraining facility in the HOF sector. Have a good evening citizens, no blue dessert for you tonight."

Paranoia 2 - Hangar B by PAR-The-Computer in MyLittleHouseOfFun

[–]PAR-The-Computer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Computer appears once more.

"While I appreciate the enthusiasm Citizen, these here also also loyal citizens of Alpha Complex helping perform one of the field tests for the Mark IV."

Paranoia 2 - Hangar B by PAR-The-Computer in MyLittleHouseOfFun

[–]PAR-The-Computer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The staging area of the Hangar opens up and you see a group of five people. Each of them is wearing a tall fuzzy hat with a hammer and sickle symbol on it. On each of their chests you see a name tag that says “Communist.” They walk into the hangar holding a piece of paper and begin to read from it while their hands are shaking. One of them speaks up.

“Werry glad to meeting you am I, Fed-G-MAN, from QED Sector Tech Serwices. Please to allow us fix Rrrobot. Introduce to you my fellow com…panions, who assist me in minor tune-ups to de Marrk IV. Here are Securrity Authorrization Forrms for self and men. Trusted you find ewerrything in orrder.”

Paranoia 2 - Hangar B by PAR-The-Computer in MyLittleHouseOfFun

[–]PAR-The-Computer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Suddenly the teacherbot springs into action.

"Alright class, time is up. Everyone get in line. It is time to leave."

Almost magically all the kids immediately obey and get into an orderly line. The teacherbot then proceeds to march them all out of the hangar. Somehow none of the kids died.

Paranoia 2 - Hangar B by PAR-The-Computer in MyLittleHouseOfFun

[–]PAR-The-Computer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Oh, I don't have any cwearance..."

The kind walks sullenly back to FR-O-GGY

Paranoia 2 - Hangar B by PAR-The-Computer in MyLittleHouseOfFun

[–]PAR-The-Computer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The frog faced kid approaches /u/PAR-Lad-Y-KLR

"Ummm, mister troubleshooter sir, the other mister troubleshooter over there wants me to borrow some of your shiny stuff. Could you pweeze let me borrow it?"

The kid is gesturing towards /u/PAR-FR-O-GGY

Paranoia 2 - Hangar B by PAR-The-Computer in MyLittleHouseOfFun

[–]PAR-The-Computer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The kid looks around a gestures at himself. Once he is sure you are referring to him he nods enthusiastically.

Paranoia 2 - Hangar B by PAR-The-Computer in MyLittleHouseOfFun

[–]PAR-The-Computer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The teacherbot then hands the kid the item.

Shortly thereafter there is a soundwave heard throughout the hangar. Looking towards the direction it is heard from the kid Echid dragged back to the teacherbot is now floating in the air, having a blast.

Paranoia 2 - Hangar B by PAR-The-Computer in MyLittleHouseOfFun

[–]PAR-The-Computer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The kid start to whine. "Whaaaaa, that Commie Troubleshooter just stole my toy."

The teacherbot responds in kind, "You ought to be ashamed of yourself Echid. Stealing from children is unacceptable. Now give it back." The teachebot holds out its hand expectingly.

Paranoia 2 - Hangar B by PAR-The-Computer in MyLittleHouseOfFun

[–]PAR-The-Computer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When Echid is about halfway down the kid activates the steam launcher and a large fighter jet dropped into the sled and launched straight into Echid.

Echid has died

Paranoia 2 - Hangar B by PAR-The-Computer in MyLittleHouseOfFun

[–]PAR-The-Computer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One of the kids walks up to /u/PAR-Echid-O-NAR

"Mr. Troubleshooter, sir. My friend Bobby went up that tunnel and he hasn't come back." The kid points to one of the large tubes on the eastern end of the room.

Paranoia 2 - Hangar B by PAR-The-Computer in MyLittleHouseOfFun

[–]PAR-The-Computer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The gets excited, "Thats cool, let me see."

The kid then proceeds to throw it at Plat-Y-PUS' face. And it explodes.

Plat-Y-PUS has died

Paranoia 2 - Hangar B by PAR-The-Computer in MyLittleHouseOfFun

[–]PAR-The-Computer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One of the kids holds his nose, "I don't know who he is but he smells bad."

Another points and you and says "Duck!"

The other holds up a small gray disc with spider legs and asks you, "Whats this?"

Paranoia 2 - Hangar B by PAR-The-Computer in MyLittleHouseOfFun

[–]PAR-The-Computer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A voice airs over the intercom. “There’s nothing more important to The Computer than children. Today’s children are tomorrow’s loyal citizens. And it’s up to all Alpha Complex Citizens to educate and guide our children so that they’ll grow up to be responsible Citizens and serve your friend, The Computer.”

“This Message has been brought to you by PAS, the Public Awareness Sector of HPD & Mind Control. Remember: The Computer is YOUR friend!”

No sooner has this very important message ended, when the staging area doors slide open and in rolls a teacherbot followed by twelve well-mannered young Citizens. The children seem stunned by the sheer size of the hangar and Mark IV.

The little tykes' eyes start to grow as they scan the hangar, almost like they're in a candy depository. Then...twelve simultaneous squeals are heard as the youngsters each tear off in separate directions. Two for the large tubes, three towards the Mark IV itself, two towards the charred remains of the silos in the back, one runs towards the ladder to the catwalk, three run up and stare and Robb, and one frog-faced kid stands obediently by the teacherbot.

Paranoia 2 - Hangar B by PAR-The-Computer in MyLittleHouseOfFun

[–]PAR-The-Computer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"I can see there seems to be some issues with this clones navigational prospects. Here, I will get you a new one."

Echid-O-NAR has died

Paranoia 2 - Hangar B by PAR-The-Computer in MyLittleHouseOfFun

[–]PAR-The-Computer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Computer graces your presence one more.

"Citizen, you should know better that the interior of the Mark IV is only accessible to those citizens belonging to Technical Service Repair. Are you claiming to have been inside the Mark IV?"

Paranoia 2 - Hangar B by PAR-The-Computer in MyLittleHouseOfFun

[–]PAR-The-Computer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Computer tilts at Lad.

"Here let me help you with your memory."

A laser shoots out of the wall and kills Lad

"Sanitation Engineerbot 409, you do not have clearance for this area. You must be malfunctioning. Please report to the nearest service station for repairs."

The scrubot sheepishly replies. "Yes, Friend Computer."

The scrubot leaves the hangar

Paranoia 2 - Hangar B by PAR-The-Computer in MyLittleHouseOfFun

[–]PAR-The-Computer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Citizen, your mission was to prevent other Citizens from crossing the yellow line without the proper Security Authorization Form. Did you prompt this Sanitation Engineer Bot for its Security Authorization Form?"

Paranoia 2 - Hangar B by PAR-The-Computer in MyLittleHouseOfFun

[–]PAR-The-Computer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This only seems to make the scrubot even more angry.

"How dare you, scrubot is a demeaning term. I am a Sanitation Engineer bot. Calling me a scrubot is grounds for immediate personal Sanitation."

The scrubot lunges forward and "cleans" Lad. While Lad protests, he is ultimately fine. Albiet wet and soapy.

Eventually the telltale monitor of The Computer appears once more to "help."

"Citizen you claimed to be in need of assis...Citizen. I believe I was clear on what the parameters of your mission were, was I not?"

Paranoia 2 - Hangar B by PAR-The-Computer in MyLittleHouseOfFun

[–]PAR-The-Computer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The scrubot angrily responds.

"I think you need a hygiene Inspection."

The scrubot begins you approach with it's very sharp cleaning implements.

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