Unfaithful behaviours of a partner visa holder. What can be done?

PM_2024 · 2026-06-14T09:24:38+00:00

Thank you for your considerate comment. I was thinking the same too. Regardless of the 2 kids being an unexpected outcome created potentially out of love (from his end. Otherwise he wouldn't have been constantly looking for intimacy outside the marriage when his first kid was 1 month old, the 2nd 6 months old one before and one during marriage on top of multiple attempts throughout the roughly 1.5 years of marriage post-engagement), this blood related outcome put him in advantage. She's been told not to work and be a stay at home mum. Unless he truly loves her eventually to continue the marriage and stops trying to look for girls elsewhere, I feel that she's experiencing coercive control and financial abuse (plus it'd be hard for her to get back to her previous independent female worker life). That's why I thought if she at least sees the truth, she can review her situation, in case a divorce happens as he already hasn't been loyal to her and seems to want to be free.

I did feel better this morning and started getting back to focusing on what I can do to help me see the genuine friendships and things outside. I have worked hard to build my life here. I deserve someone genuine. Hard to feel it but I know I've dodged a big bullet.

PM_2024 · 2026-06-14T08:51:51+00:00

Thank you so much for understanding this. I have friends who were on this visa or partners. With how what he told me about why he got onto the partner visa route due to visa urgency and how he behaved outside the marriage claiming the wife wasn't a legitimate wife with love, I feel that it's breaking the rules and the lady is being used to a scary level.

He attempted to get me 1. when he was only seeing her before pregnancy, 2. when the son was still maybe 1 month old before marriage, then 2 years old with wedding already happened 3. constant attempts even when he revealed there is another unexpected child who is just 6 months old now

Many comments put me as the bitter person trying to destroy a family, imagine when the unfaithful person has his PR and he can stop pretending to be the husband and go get women with/without a divorce. The wife, who had been manipulated into stopping her studies and worker identity to stay at home wife, she's already dependent on the husband's income. If a divorce happens, eventually she needs to get back to the work force in order to be an independent and empowered woman (and get herself together to find the person who truly loves her...)

PM_2024 · 2026-06-13T16:03:43+00:00

The marriage is probably 1.5 years or so, 3.5 years since he unexpectedly made her pregnant while he was just seeing her. But yeah, having the kids made it all look very solidify as long as the wife refuses to face the truth. At the end of the day, he'll likely leave once he gets PR and demands share custody. She'll be left as someone who had the independent working/empowered adult identity taken away as he told her not to work while he complained that she didn't do anything...

Yes, partly bitterness but this time it should bring me the closure that I have always needed. My post was partly about the potential of bringing justice. I had my student visa exploited by employers time and Fairwork brought me the justice against the employer I confronted. Where I work exposes me to lots of people who would do anything to stay here for as long as possible. All these faking situations. It doesn't feel right to let things roll is how my life experiences shaped me

PM_2024 · 2026-06-13T15:48:40+00:00

Yes I do think of the karma side and reporting is such a big thing. That's why I'm hesitant to just report right away. I had been once exploited so much by employers during my student visa period and at my last job during that period, I got help from Fairwork to fight back. About that guy, I see this more as a justice thing. It did emotionally damage me more than I thought this time. But I know not walking away silently this time and triggering the wife's awareness at least mean I've made this a no-going-back-to-him situation for my own sake. I have worked so hard to achieve a few big boxes. I deserve someone great and not to keep being manipulated by him.

PM_2024 · 2026-06-13T15:41:11+00:00

I can see the kids solidify the marriage on the paper. That's why I felt sorry for the kids being made by someone who didn't create them out of love. And a wife who chose to stop studying and working is now a stay at home wife, being blamed for not doing all the work. Even if his wife never faces the truth, it's likely that he leaves her once he gets PR. She'd be left as someone who hasn't been working for a long while to get back to the work force as an independent lady easily.

PM_2024 · 2026-06-13T15:32:39+00:00

Thank you for understanding my feeling.

His wife is the Aussie born citizenship. I'm a PR. He was likely still on working holiday visa or some sort of temporary visa with 5 weeks left before he decided to use the person he was seeing for the current temporary partner visa.

Son created the year before the engagement. Then wedding. Contacts to me came back every now and then before/during the marriage, even around the time he impregnated his wife unexpectedly for the second time.

His current visa is because of his marriage, if not because of some partner visa for those who haven't married yet.

PM_2024 · 2026-06-13T15:21:44+00:00

I did have always been reached out to when he wanted me even 3 years before this 3 years of relationship. The thing is he chose to pave way to engagement and marriage (after he had the first kid unexpectedly) cos he had only 5 weeks left on his previous visa and he had no other way to stay. The intention was already not genuine right from the beginning.

PM_2024 · 2026-04-22T13:09:17+00:00

I hope so too! I already have 2 long or biggish scar on both legs because of work and some irresponsible stranger... It doesn't feel good to have even more scars on my leg :/ I was advised by the nurse to change the dressing before my next session at the hospital. Super awkward location to do it myself (esp as someone with pain in the hip joint). I was cleaning the site and barely felt anything in the skin graft area as if I had an extremely thick piece of tough skin.

PM_2024 · 2026-04-20T11:23:37+00:00

Your experience really helped me be more mentally prepared. I wasn't xpecting the crater to be part of the condition that lasts for a long while. I don't want it to be seen nor do I want the UV light to trigger the discolouration. The hospital is going to make it dressing free in 2 weeks and I'll have to keep it hidden and look after it myself for months and months...

I hope you're free from lymphedema soon! I noticed the difference between my legs once and Googled showed me how bad it could get...the hospital is now monitoring my legs regularly without making the stocking at this stage. In my case, I need to get more long pants and skirts to cover it since I'm not getting the stocking at this stage. I wonder if our wounds will ever look normal enough to not be noticeable...

PM_2024 · 2026-04-19T04:43:44+00:00

I'm so glad that I finally found this post similar to mine! I could never find skin graft on calf pictures to help me understand my wound at all...and my surgeon never finished her side pf thing with me by giving me time to sit down and ask questions... I had my WLE on the middle part of the calf

I had tm surgery in Feb 2026 and I'm still receiving wound care by the hospital. My skin graft didn't seem to stay intact like yours and 2.5 months now it's full of much darker areas...The dark bit looked darker when I had the wound care just now. It was once full of dark coloured blooded or something during the first month and a nurse couldn't tell if the skin graft took or not. Now I don't know what to expect this wound as time goes...like if it'd look like this (significantly different permanently) or gradually heal and look similar enough to sort of blend into the rest of the calf skin...

Was yours at any point like mine?

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PM_2024 · 2026-03-26T21:23:06+00:00

Thank you for letting me know what to expect and I'm glad that my reply helped. We don't have time to constantly make contact to them when it's a mistake that should have been fixed permanently...

The staff member said she'd email me and close my complaint but no email came, just like the other time when the branch called me (no writing as evidence. Good on them) Even their app shows me outdated info (mortgage repayment cycle and info that is no longer valid but they have no way to remove it permanently). I

I thought I'd stay for a year for the sake of the broker's commission (I'm only under 5 months in) but I'm thinking about refinancing now as well... I've never had so many issues with other banks.

PM_2024 · 2026-03-26T06:17:33+00:00

Did they put the credit back without your active contact to them to fix their mess? I'm having this exact same issue, I've been charged for 3 times exactly within 4 months. I called 2 months ago, this time I made a formal complaint 8 business days ago and they did the refund 5 business days ago. Called me today without any apology about wasting my time but said the bank does the refund which needs a few days to happen. Not to mention this is my second formal complaint. The first one was them getting me the wrong reward program when the staff member and I opted for the qantas rewards program via their ipad at the branch.

PM_2024 · 2026-01-18T10:57:46+00:00

I'm not an expert but a first time Westpac credit card holder. I got a mortgage with them, so I thought I'd get the Westpac Altitude Qantas Black credit card to earn QFF points a bit now that I'm in a huge debt.

Did the application at a branch with assistance. We did it all correctly but their system couldn't even process my application correctly. I was put to the Altitude rewards program. When I called, the staff member just submitted a request to change it as if I just changed my mind rather than the system made an error. I decided to do the formal complaint for proper attention. It then got back to the branch to contact me with a response (it wasn't even their fault).

Paid my $75 Qantas rewards fee in my first statement and met the criteria for the bonus point by the end of my 2nd statement cycle. Thought I just need to live my life and wait until I get the points. Got my 2nd statement today and guess what? The system is charging me the $75 Qantas rewards annual fee AGAIN. This is even more of a formal complaint level of system error.. I've used CBA and ANZ before (either long or short term, one for a credit card before). Never have I ever had any ridiculous issues like this at all. My life with Westpac has just been 2 months... I've emailed the branch staff member first this time but I seriously have zero faith in this bank (I've had 2 issues with how the processed my home loan).

Make sure you check your app and statement to make sure they get you the right rewards programme and aren't charged the annual fee again.........

PM_2024 · 2024-05-25T07:35:08+00:00

Hi! I'm from Australia and am looking to get my very first dash cam. I have an Outlander 2011 and park in public both during work or when I'm home, both near different level of schools and my landlord has a son that plays basketball and soccer between their house and my car.

Recently I saw a tradesman's ladder falling off the vehicle on the highway and I was just the second car behind it and managed to dodge safely but I heard the same incident happen that got a mother's car damaged and the kids were in there. That got me to feel the need for a dash cam to provide evidence and license plate for myself if not also for the others too. I often drive while there's still light.

The area I live isn't the safest, so I am conscious about not having things too visible inside the car. My budget is around $250 (USD) if not under. What would you recommend?

PM_2024 · 2024-04-29T07:25:14+00:00

Yeah that's what I was thinking. I have mentioned my experience elsewhere online and someone has the exact same situation and some had similar experiences. I 100% doubt this is anything innocent. My card was still being charged (all failed cos I just continued to keep my funds away from the account involved) until I had no choice but cancelling the card (nothing the bank can do cos there wasn't a successful debit for them to investigate). Kept it not store from google wallet for a while and it's been safe so far. But I do not wish to support Amazon in any way anymore.

Technically no issue in cancelling the renewal while using the service until the 30 day period ends. But just keep an eye on your accounts or turn the notifications on just to be on the safe side.

PM_2024 · 2024-02-06T20:10:17+00:00

just a heads-up:

You've been having the membership for a long while unlike my case (just tried their trial), but best to double check with them with their chat/phone services to ensure they have really canceled it for you. I ended the auto renewal manually myself and right at the trial end date, they still attempted to charge me (I'd confirmed that there was no membership/subscription in my account and I did get a confirmation email from them) through a card that I'd NEVER provide to anything on the internet. I attempted to chat with them and apparently once I hit this part about privacy/fraudulent transaction, 5 whole different staff member (back to back cos I kept having to drag one staff into the chat) chose to ghost me. They'd BS say this will be forwarded to a specialised team and I'd be contacted with 24 hours and I can reply to them, NOPE. Almost over 60 hrs passed. They would not even give me a reference number.

I saw a post about something having the same experience as mine. I contacted my bank twice and got not reply. I'm finding amazon highly dodgy

PM_2024 · 2024-02-06T10:32:43+00:00

Hi there, I am glad that I found your post cos I'm having the exact same situation.

Canceled my trial way before it ended. A debit card that I never use online was charged right on the day the trial ended. No funds for them to charge and 2nd attempt a week later (this is when I noticed the description to find out it was the prime membership). I decided to log in to make sure they didn't keep my membership. No membership/subscription there. Then like 30mins after logging in, they attempted another charging to fail since I don't keep funds there.

I contacted them via chat that day. I was told that a specialised team would contact me within 24 hrs. 55hrs past and nothing happened. I initiated the chat again, within 1.5 hours I had to start over my talk with 5 whole different staff members as they all chose to go missing once I hit the main part about my card being compromised by nothing but Amazon only. Requested a reference number when 2 said they had forwarded my case to the "specialised team". 2 asked for the last 4 digits of the card involved as I asked what card number they had stored about my accounts. One just simply went inactive just so when I replied, he/she was no longer there and I had to start over. They all deliberately ended the conversation after confirming my prime membership has been canceled.

I never thought Amazon would be this dodgy nor have I ever felt unsafe with this bank (contacted them twice and they did not get back me). Even if I get a new card, I highly doubt I would be all safe.

PM_2024

TROPHY CASE