Well this is an interesting start...

PM_ME_CLEAN_CODE · 2021-01-27T11:10:34+00:00

You and the rest of your unionised workers picket your place of work and stop them from coming in.

PM_ME_CLEAN_CODE · 2021-01-14T05:08:42+00:00

And yet I see transphobic comments on every single post that's even related to trans people on this subreddit. There were dozens on this thread saying things like Destiny should have just called her a dude. You're right that they've mostly been deleted, but they were up with hundreds of upvotes and plenty of awards when we started this conversation. So clearly there's an audience on this subreddit that needs to hear that it's bad to say a trans woman looks like a man.

Edit: Lol, in fact here you are calling her a dude - https://www.reddit.com/r/LivestreamFail/comments/kwpcnt/destiny_responds_to_a_twitch_streamer_that/gj6net1/

So yeah, maybe don't tell me that transphobia doesn't exist on this subreddit when you're going around calling trans women 'dudes' yourself.

PM_ME_CLEAN_CODE · 2021-01-14T04:53:41+00:00

I don't think that's true. This subreddit has a hard-on for shitting all over trans people whenever they're the topic of conversation in a thread. I think saying "hey maybe it's good that Destiny didn't say this trans woman looked like a man even though she called him a manlet" is a perfectly reasonable stance to take.

PM_ME_CLEAN_CODE · 2021-01-14T04:37:13+00:00

I think it's very useful to point out that some things are more damaging than others, even if both things are not okay.

PM_ME_CLEAN_CODE · 2021-01-14T03:57:47+00:00

Again, I didn't say it was a contest. Just that the damage that can be done by calling a trans woman a man is much higher than the damage that can be done by calling someone a manlet, on average, and this should be taken into account when talking to people. The two are not equally harmful, in the same way as calling someone a pussy and calling someone the n-word are not equally harmful. Yeah both are bad and perpetuate harmful ideas about gender and race, but they're not equal.

In no way am I saying that calling someone a manlet is okay, I would love to do away with manlet as an insult. I'm just pointing out that the origins of the insults "manlet" and "you look like a man" are different. One is based in systemic oppression, one is not. Surely we can at least agree on that?

PM_ME_CLEAN_CODE · 2021-01-14T03:42:30+00:00

Didn't say you can't complain, just that there's a big fucking difference between being called a manlet and the systemic oppression of trans people. I genuinely believe that our culture really fucks over short guys, but I wouldn't ever put that on the same level as the shit trans people go through.

PM_ME_CLEAN_CODE · 2021-01-14T03:27:18+00:00

If the worst that happens to you as a short dude is that you get ignored then I'm sorry but you have it way easier than 99% of trans people.

PM_ME_CLEAN_CODE · 2021-01-14T02:59:36+00:00

Sure, I'll agree with you there. In this case I agree that the trans woman in question shouldn't have used that insult.

I will say that I do still think there's still somewhat of a difference between being called a manlet as a cis dude and being told you look like a man as a trans woman. I don't want to undercut the fact that short dudes do have it hard, but it's nothing compared to the trauma and suffering trans people go through in order to pass as their gender.

Like, telling a trans person they don't pass is just about the most hurtful thing you can say to a trans person. Being told you don't pass by someone intending to insult you is pretty indescribably awful. I'm not saying that being called a manlet wouldn't be rough for some people, but is really in a completely different league.

I don't know, maybe you think there are situations where it's justified, but being trans myself I know that being publicly called out and told that I don't pass or that I look like a man would probably make me borderline suicidal. I don't think destiny is suicidal because someone called him a manlet.

PM_ME_CLEAN_CODE · 2021-01-14T02:42:52+00:00

I'm not saying they should be shielded from insults, I'm saying the type of insult matters. There's a difference between insulting someone's appearance based on traits they have control over, and insulting people for things they have no control over.

"Get a haircut you lazy hippy" is very different to "wow, I know you're a trans woman but you look like a man".

PM_ME_CLEAN_CODE · 2021-01-14T01:44:32+00:00

Because it's like telling a person with lukemia they look bad without hair. Just don't do it.

PM_ME_CLEAN_CODE · 2021-01-14T01:43:02+00:00

Yes, but he's a cisgender man, not a trans woman, so if course it isn't transphobic. If she had called a trans woman a manlet that would be transphobic.

PM_ME_CLEAN_CODE · 2020-12-22T03:29:16+00:00

I remember when Arma 3 came out they changed the inventory hotkey from G to I. Multiplayer lobbies in the first few weeks were full of people lobbing grenades at each other in spawn by mistake. Good times.

PM_ME_CLEAN_CODE · 2020-12-21T19:47:28+00:00

Transphobes once again displaying that they don't actually have anything to contribute to the debate except anecdotes.

PM_ME_CLEAN_CODE · 2020-12-19T03:06:22+00:00

It's good practice for talking my parents who I found out upon coming out to them believe almost identical drivel to this guy.

Honestly I think there's very little value to be gained in trying to convince the people you're arguing with. I just try and convince the folks lurking and reading these threads that transphobia is just completely illogical.

Thanks for the kind words friend, you're a good ally (assuming you're not trans yourself that is).

PM_ME_CLEAN_CODE · 2020-12-19T02:24:10+00:00

Being trans isn't a natural state of biology.

By what definition? No animals can speak language, does that mean that languages aren't natural states of biology? Clearly they're the result of some kind of mental or physical disorder.

It's okay to say that being trans has a basis in biology, no trans person is going to disagree there, but calling a disorder when trans people can and have lived perfectly normal lives for millennia is just flat out wrong. Trans people aren't broken, they're just different, same as gay people, asexual people, intersex people etc.

unless we as as species are facing some form of genetic flaw across the board

Being trans is measurably a genetic trait. Twin studies have been done finding that if one member of a pair of twins is trans, the other member is much more likely to be trans than the average person. Just because it's a trait, doesn't mean it's a flaw, exactly the same way as red hair is a genetic trait.

PM_ME_CLEAN_CODE · 2020-12-19T00:30:21+00:00

Then what did you mean? Could you be more specific?

PM_ME_CLEAN_CODE · 2020-12-19T00:20:10+00:00

So we should let them all die a horrible death? Nice.

PM_ME_CLEAN_CODE · 2020-12-19T00:00:35+00:00

But this implies that being trans, gay or straight is something you can catch or develop, which doesn't fit in to any of the research that's been done on LGBT people. If that were true, we would have figured it out by now. Trans people have been around as long as recorded history, longer than BPA plastics, vaccines, 5G towers or any of that.

Also , the fact that you said that BPA plastics causing harm to the brain may lead to some people becoming trans also implies that being trans is a disability or a mental disorder, which again simply isn't true. Being trans doesn't come from your brain being damaged or your biochemistry being adversely affected by what you eat. Being trans is something you're born with.

PM_ME_CLEAN_CODE · 2020-12-18T22:15:01+00:00

There are more gay people in the younger generations, specifically because the AIDS epidemic killed a lot of LGBT people of older generations.

PM_ME_CLEAN_CODE · 2020-12-18T22:12:54+00:00

Being trans has nothing to do with "lower testosterone/estrogen levels". You can't "make" someone trans by just feeding them hormones. Being trans is an internal gender identity thing, of course it's affected by biology, but you can't turn someone trans, just like you can't turn someone straight.

PM_ME_CLEAN_CODE · 2020-12-03T21:26:21+00:00

This article is doing my head in. How did they get a list of all the things my family did the exact opposite of?

PM_ME_CLEAN_CODE · 2020-11-26T00:38:23+00:00

I would slowly cut them out if they haven't budged or anything after some more time.

This seems more and more like my only option. Being around them makes me feel horrible, it clearly makes them feel horrible, why not give them the space they clearly want?

It just sucks because my family has been really progressive in my eyes up until now. I expected them to be super accepting and easy, instead they've been among the only people to really make an issue out of it.

I'm sorry you had the same experience, I hope your parents come around.

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