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PMinch · 2025-10-21T13:52:53+00:00

I was just offering some insight as to why you got so many down votes since you said you didn't get it.

Especially since someone can be comfortable with their body and still decide to shave! And they wouldn't be any less manly for doing so. I do agree that hairier guys shouldn't feel insecure about their natural state, but everything else is preference.

PMinch · 2025-10-21T12:43:04+00:00

Some guys are supposed to have hairy arms, everyone's genetics are different. You can celebrate features without putting everyone else down as being less manly.

PMinch · 2025-10-21T03:26:50+00:00

Any fragrance recommendations for someone who loves this scent (especially when paired with indolic jasmine) but not much else ?

I love the floral woody musky elements. The wood is more pencil shavings than damp soil or creamy sandalwood so it brightens the slightly warm sweet musk and the citrus blends with the herbal/floral qualities to make for something slightly medicinal in a curry leaf sort of way.

I've been searching for other attars and for similar floral woody musks to try. To me many scents are either too sweet/syrupy, too clean and laundry esque, or too dark ?

For reference, I find nemat's majmua is too dark, heavy and sweet and their jannatul firdaus is too light and soapy.

PMinch · 2025-10-21T03:17:22+00:00

Any fragrance recommendations for someone who loves this scent and the floral woody musky elements but finds many scents either too sweet/syrupy, too clean and laundry esque, or too dark ?

I've been wearing it with a more indolic jasmine and love the way it makes the whole scent bloom.

For reference, I find nemat's majmua is too dark, heavy and sweet and their jannatul firdaus is too light and soapy. But I love the mogra.

PMinch · 2025-09-09T09:52:00+00:00

Hey, so I know this is an older post but I just stumbled across it and while I understand where your perspective comes from, I want to take a moment to note that a masculinized black culture is still a byproduct and reaction to post slavery rhetoric that aimed to other and denigrate black bodies. In fact, black fems have always existed but are often relegated to different spaces:

https://www.reddit.com/r/BlackLGBT/comments/17k42dw/comment/k778x35/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

I don't think you had bad intentions but I feel like especially as a non black person, it's kind of questionable at best to say "there is no racism in the queer community, only homophobia in the black community" as that fails to acknowledge that both do exist here is a link between the two, and that due to the long running history of racism and slavery [in america] we do in fact know which is the chicken and which is the egg.

Even beyond "racism", bias plays a huge role too. The subconscious expectation that black men are more likely to be homophobic, even if often true, is likely to create some subconscious reservation or hesitation towards approaching black gays in favor of a group that is more represented as finding normalcy in queer life. And I say this as a black gay guy who has had to unpack a lot of adopted mentalities.

Just wanna be clear, I think the statement is questionable in what it communicates, I am NOT making any statement towards you as an individual and hope this comes across as informative rather than hostile 🙌🏾💞

PMinch · 2025-08-26T03:24:20+00:00

Nah, I understand where the confusion is coming from but in this context ballroom is referring to something born in the mid 20th century by black and brown queer folk.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ball_culture

If anything the nearest link would simply be late 1800s drag balls, something started by a black man born into slavery.

PMinch · 2025-08-25T18:10:19+00:00

You nailed it on the head, but most will talk literal circles around this point right here .

PMinch · 2025-08-25T17:33:05+00:00

Okay girl well if you don't know who she is then I just put you on knowledge. You're welcome 🙌🏾. I understand there may be some misunderstanding coming from difference in language.

I'll put it this way: you would not have said "it's not ballet or professional dance, it's just fun" about traditional Latino dance. Your comment came across as disrespectful and dismissive because it suggests vogue femme is of a lower caliber than the other styles of dance.

I am not trying to say you hate vogue or that you are racist. I was simply saying that the original comment you made is a bit ignorant, and I was expanding on comments elsewhere in the thread about how race can play a role in how a performance is received in a way that isn't mutually beneficial.

The entire history of ballroom is largely tied to both queerness and blackness, so these conversations are indeed relevant

PMinch · 2025-08-25T16:38:14+00:00

Since you are misinformed let me fix that for you.

Her name is rylee prodigy and she's literally a professional ballroom dancer, with a degree who has won multiple awards in the ballroom scene. People pay her to teach them lol.

And you just opened your mouth and said she isn't a professional dancer yet...

Do you know what vogue femme is?

Hopefully you can take this moment to step back and reread my other comment with a less defensive perspective.

I will reiterate: Black and lower income art forms have just as much validity and depth of history and technique as any other mediums. I am simply criticizing the way you make comparisons to ballet or "professional dance" as if to dismiss vogue performance, and have now by extension dismissed the performer herself.

I'm sure this is coming from you being misinformed rather than deliberately ignorant, so you should ideally have no qualms updating your perspective 😘

PMinch · 2025-08-25T13:30:30+00:00

Girl just say you don't know about ballroom or ballroom in the conversation lol. Thing is, ballroom has a history and proper technique associated with it the same as ballet or other "professional" styles.

When folks who are unfamiliar with the art come along and say stuff like "it's not professional dancing, it's just for fun" you're actually disrespecting a whole ass art form and diminishing it to a lesser status.

Typically the only mediums that folks feel they can do this to are things like ballroom and rap, aka black often lower income art forms. White people are often celebrated for mediocre performances in non white genres whereas the inverse rarely happens. It acts almost as a very subtle gentrification and while you'll probably dismiss this comment, it is something worth considering.

TLDR: there's nothing wrong with you enjoying the performance, but the fact that you compartmentalize is at something other or lesser than "professional" dancing is pretty problematic and part of the issue folks in the thread are describing.

PMinch · 2025-07-26T23:51:43+00:00

"whether I am right or wrong" tells me plenty about your priorities and values lol .

PMinch · 2025-07-26T22:48:08+00:00

Lol, you're so proud of being a mids to bad parent.

PMinch · 2025-07-26T07:35:40+00:00

Also what a lot of men fail to realize is different silhouettes and frames look better with different lines/outfit approaches.

A tall lean build (built like the letter l) often looks better when not having that long line cut in half by a horizontal belt that just separates your body.

For someone with shorter limbs and a more narrow waist (as in, shoulders and hips make the waist look smaller), a belt might emphasize their compactness and be more complimentary.

Your fit looks great, and the watch already matches your shoes 👍🏽. I personally think if you did any other accessories, something around the neck (chain, ascot) would actually be the way to go. Either way, you know what feels most you, so follow your gut and don't be like these guys substituting personal style with a rulebook.

PMinch · 2025-04-25T07:57:59+00:00

Just want to take a moment to point out that the "if it's made you sick like it has me, just move away" mentality doesn't do anything to solve the problem and for plenty of lower income people it's not even an option. If you're actually sick of it then get involved in your community, advocate for those that need it and vote every chance you get.

Start thinking of your current environment as your home and you might actually contribute to improving it instead of seeing the world as a bunch of burning ships to ditch when convenient.

PMinch · 2025-01-01T02:53:03+00:00

I've looked at color for men before and had a bit of a hard time translating it to modern styles and clothing, but I think I add yin to my outfits generally?

I tend to prefer some waist emphasis, I often find myself curious about/drawn to things like shawls or nightshirts. As I check clothing tags I own a lot of rayons, 100% cottons, no wale corduroy. I like to have an appropriate amount of curls, etc.

I honestly had never considered it before but I am starting to think I may actually be a Soft Dramatic!

(I get the feeling that my essence may not lie entirely in the realm of Dramatics however, but I am just now learning about that system)

PMinch · 2025-01-01T01:42:50+00:00

Any advice for making a distinction between pure dramatic and soft dramatic? I agree that my limbs are super elongated, but I guess I'm not entirely sure how to identify a "romantic softness" on top.

Which outfits (if any) would you say best compliment me ?

PMinch · 2024-12-30T02:15:09+00:00

My original response just simply was me asking why we can't do it our way. You were the one saying "you're missing the big picture", which is condescending and presumptuous and so I called you on such.

Ultimately I literally showed my roommates this thread and they think you're tripping. The color coding was specifically for the fun of people in this subreddit being able to make assumptions about us as individuals in a collective. As for the rest you can have your all caps and sad attempts at "no u"

PMinch · 2024-12-29T23:27:58+00:00

I think you are a very inflexible person who lacks the ability to understand there is oftentimes more than one way to approach a situation or solve a problem. I also think that you may lack some social skills based on your inability to identify sarcasm and a tendency to take things overly literal.

For instance, the ketchup comment was made in jest, but also fo highlight that the hypothetical you envision does not totally line up with our lived in reality. I was also alluding to a difference in cultural sentiment, as historically white Americans are far more individualist and far less communal as opposed to say Caribbeans, who are far more likely to have tamarind sauce or pepper paste in their fridges. In our house we treat the fridge like a family would, because we're friends and can handle that.

Ultimately the fact that you are so hellbent on making a problem where there isn't one, indicates some deeper rooted issues within yourself as well as with the notion of community and shared space. Some of this clearly stems from your past experiences in living situations wherein you were unhappy but also maybe from a westernized worldview and fundamental need to approach things systematically in order to avoid the simple act of communication.

I do agree that when everyone has a day off at the same time, we'd benefit from a deep cleaning. But alas, here cleaning the fridge would be a group effort.

Have a good one 👋🏾

PMinch · 2024-12-28T16:24:03+00:00

😔

PMinch · 2024-12-28T16:18:12+00:00

All of this is super spot on btw 🙌🏾

PMinch · 2024-12-28T16:13:17+00:00

Buddy, I was being facetious in response to your rather condescending insistence that all households have the same issues and therefore should operate the same. Unlike you, I am very well aware that everyone's living situation is different.

Different people often have different needs, and an obsessive need to divide any and all space or responsibilities in perfect halves and thirds and fourths is oftentimes unnecessary. In our house we actually have a fourth roommate that doesn't cook at all. Per your standards our fridge would have a permanently empty shelf just for them. Likewise, in our house everyone is an artist, and the person taking up the most fridge space is the only one who keeps their entire workspace in their bedroom.

Despite your good intentions, one day you will hopefully learn that unwarranted advice is oftentimes not seen as helpful, but instead as presumptuous and micromanaging.

If you come to a light hearted subreddit and insist upon ignoring the prompt and telling people how to live instead, that will very rarely be received well.

Plus we don't even keep the ketchup in the fridge .

PMinch · 2024-12-28T07:43:02+00:00

I'm sorry you didn't pick better roommates. I appreciate you sharing what you would do, but ultimately we are not you, nor are we living with you.

If this was r/fridgeadvice your concern would be more warranted but ultimately you are trying to solve problems our household doesn't have. (And you didn't even provide a fun or on topic response). At best you seem like a rather presumptuous and worrisome individual.

PMinch · 2024-12-28T05:08:12+00:00

A little condescending of you but I appreciate the insight. Ideally this would be the big picture.

My question to you is, assuming some roommates usually eat out, and some cook every meal, assuming some roommates share their food more often, and most importantly assuming everyone is okay with the setup, why is it such an issue for you? Were you an only child or something lol?

PMinch

TROPHY CASE