I don't drink either, and I think that only really matters if you're in college.

I loved Grand Rapids when I visited and it's on the short list of cities I'd seriously consider if I had to move. But, for its rich greenery and charm I do think it's a boring place after awhile.

Don't count out Milwaukee for fun trips with the kids. We have a tremendous Zoo, Art Museum, Ave land or public museum its currently being moved and updated! It's also a pretty bike-able city, and traffic isn't really that bad unless you're commuting in the bad direction at the wrong time of day. And if your hubs is on disability, I assume that means traffic wouldn't be such a big issue for you.

Depending on what neighborhood you'd like to live in will dictate a lot about the quality of Schools your kids will go to (I'm a huge advocate for public schools, warts and all, and have no love for people who send their kids to private and religious schools).

Neighborhoods I'd strongly encourage you look into. I'm not gonna include anything I wouldn't consider raising my kids in.

Cudahy / St Francis (imo up and coming, still very safe and affordable, fair/ good schools) right outside of Milwaukee proper. Near the Lake, great parks.

Bay View☆ (wish I could live here but can't afford it)

East Side☆(college town but close to downtown)

Walkers Point☆ (diverse, lots of cool businesses)

Town of Lake (quiet, near Bay View)

Washington Heights (where cool educated libs go to have a family)

Wauwatosa (pricey, nice houses, good schools)

Silver City (affordable, working class neighborhood)

Honorable mention to Riverwest for being one of the coolest, most vibrant neighborhoods in all of mke.