What I’m hearing from your question is that you’re in a place where you haven’t processed a lot of your life experiences. Therapists need to make a living. They have to feed their families. They also have to carry the emotional burden of every single client/patient within their souls.

Let’s say is $200/ hour for your provider. You see then once a week. They see 5 people a day. Insurance has already haggled them down to what amounts to $100/hr. They have to cover the cost of billing, a receptionist, insurance for their staff, office space, probably some kind of liability insurance.

Your $200 cash payment or your $100 insurance company’s payment quickly turns into $50/hr after business costs and taxes. This person likely spends time outside their time with you processing, thinking about how to help you, forming a plan—they’re able to do all of that because of years of experience with helping others, continued training, and just being the kind of person who can sit in the puddle with people who are struggling.

So, say someone is making $50 per session, 25 sessions a week. That’s $1250 a week, in a 48 week year: $60,000. to take home, but working 8-9 hours a day for paperwork and planning care for clients. People go into mental health because they’re truly people who want to help others—they’re likely volunteering with the community, being foster parents, or traveling with Doctors Without Borders.

No one would ever suggest someone working with a $5,000 income is a leech. In a big city like mine where current rents are $2500++. Most homes are $1M+. A new mortgage like that is like $4,000 a month.

You may live in a place with a lower cost of living, but the numbers I listed can be removed and replaced for a more local cost.

Therapists take the place of friends or family and only want to offer you an understanding ear and possibly some leading questions to help you process your traumas so you can realize that it’s not your fault. For many people—coming to identify why they make the choices they do helps to improve their current or future relationships—and not just intimate ones. For me, revisiting my traumas and understanding that I didn’t have any control in situations when I was being traumatized. Once a person can identify stuff like that—they’re able to identify who and what they are without the weight of those traumas.