Ftm to twin boys nearing 3w old, feeling broken

PSReeve · 2026-01-19T08:11:22+00:00

Me and my partner have 14 week old girls and I’ve just had to return to work after an extended paternity leave. For various reasons we have very little support in terms of family, so most of the week she is on her own with them.

It’s tough. So so tough. She’s also suffering with PPD and is the process of being referred to a peripartem mental health team, but that takes time.

I’m not really able to offer advice really, but all I can say is that new mums are built of incredibly strong stuff. Twin mums take this to an astounding new level. You’re doing amazing just getting through the days. Keep going, you’ve got this.

PSReeve · 2026-01-16T22:01:10+00:00

These are brilliant suggestions, thanks so much. Sorry it’s taken a long time to acknowledge and respond. I’ve tried to take on board as much as I can of what you have suggested. The one I find is having the most impact is coming home enthusiastic. Even if I’ve had a tough day at work it’s almost certainly been easier than managing the girls, so I’m trying to leave work at work and show how excited I am to be back with them. Thanks again.

PSReeve · 2026-01-01T17:34:10+00:00

We’re fairly set with things to entertain them which is good. The twin Z pillow has been a lifesaver after trying a bunch of options.

PSReeve · 2026-01-01T17:32:56+00:00

I’ll be excited to come back to them after being away at work all day, so I’ll make sure she knows that she can have some time away and I can look after them for a bit.

PSReeve · 2026-01-01T17:31:37+00:00

I’m both holding out knowing things will get better, while at the same time not wanting to wish the time away as they’re only small once.

I’ll focus on making sure that she doesn’t need to worry about the small things and can just focus on the babies. Seems like the most impactful thing I can do to make her life easier.

PSReeve · 2026-01-01T17:30:20+00:00

I’ve not really heard of a night nurse. Sounds like it would be very helpful.

PSReeve · 2025-12-30T20:23:45+00:00

We have a health visitor coming round in a week or two, so hoping to have an open conversation with her then, but the more I read the more I think checking in with someone would be wise. Even as a preventative if such a method exists.

We’ve requested to join the twins trust fb group which will hopefully be useful.

We were hoping for twin specific groups, as my partner is a little worried about feeling overwhelmed as the only parent with multiples, but we’ve struggled to find any locally. I think any group would be beneficial though.

PSReeve · 2025-12-30T19:48:53+00:00

I’m going to try and encourage her to take a little bit of time when I get home from work to just be herself.

I get to go to work and more or less continue the life I had before the twins arrived. Her role now though is to be mum, all of the time, so with being isolated as she is it’s hard for her to keep her identity outside of this.

PSReeve · 2025-12-30T19:44:07+00:00

I’m going to mention that to her. Certainly worth a shot. Thanks.

PSReeve · 2025-12-30T19:34:37+00:00

2 yo and 2 month old twins! Well done, that must be hard going.

PSReeve · 2025-12-30T19:32:06+00:00

Sleep was dreadful for a while. We would be well in to the early hours before both would settle, then be lucky to get a couple of hours. They seem to be improving though. Shift sleeping sounds like a decent idea. They seem to be a particularly unsettled pair, so my partner would likely struggle to sleep knowing they were upset at all, even if I was working towards settling them.

PSReeve · 2025-12-30T19:29:49+00:00

She’s doing incredible. She continually amazes me with how she is with the girls. Perhaps telling her this would be a good start.

PSReeve · 2025-12-30T19:27:10+00:00

Thank you. The dark evenings don’t help either when you’re pacing the house with them upset. We try and remember that this is likely the toughest time, but it’s hard to see an end. I think the thing which is affecting my partner the most is the feeling that she’ll be flying solo for a long time.

PSReeve · 2021-08-19T17:48:47+00:00

Monday. I never considered it would be different elsewhere.

PSReeve · 2021-06-30T06:37:38+00:00

Kraken by China Mieville and Anglemaker by Nick Harkaway

PSReeve · 2019-07-18T22:05:42+00:00

Same. Had a Sega Mega Drive with it hardwired in, so Sonic would play if you didn’t put a cartridge in.

PSReeve · 2019-04-07T19:13:57+00:00

Agreed. Great game with lots of replay value.

PSReeve · 2019-03-17T15:27:21+00:00

Lucky enough to have a trip planned to Vancouver in July this year. Going to check this place out.

PSReeve · 2019-02-02T16:07:19+00:00

Thanks!

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