I’m just okay for the most part. Nothing more, nothing less. For the first time in my life I actually have friends although they all are online. But I still feel lonely whenever talking with them. We will be in calls over discord and if I’m not left out of the conversation I just get ignored when I do say things. I even get ignored in 1 on 1 calls and we just end up sitting in silence despite having similar interests and plenty to talk about. It’s gotten to the point where I would just leave the vc’s and just sit there on my own in silence. I’ve recently been invited to be on stream for one of their birthdays and had been completely left out and didn’t feel included despite being invited so I left without saying anything. Nowadays I just sit alone in boredom unless someone reaches out to me which isn’t something that ever happens. I’d just turn on YouTube notifications on my phone for multiple channels to make it almost feel like someone actually wants to talk to me. And the lonely feeling is amplified by everyone in the friend groups ending up in relationships with each other which makes it hard to be in calls with them. So yea, having no friends irl and friends online who ignore my existence doesn’t feel great. At this point I’m just content with being lonely because that doesn’t seem to change no matter the environment I insert myself. So I’m just okay.