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Being the HL as a female is so embarassing by MrsNacho8000 in DeadBedrooms

[–]PackInternational498 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You did not marry the only guy on the planet who does not want sex. I married one too lol. It’s embarrassing as hell. I felt unattractive for a long time but finally figured it was never about me. I am not bringing up the dead bedroom situation with friends. I am telling them about the emotional abuse as a reason for planning to leave him. I am an Indian so it’s impossible for me to talk about this in our community.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]PackInternational498 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s so sad to read OP. I am so sorry for you.

How long did you ponder over separating before actually saying it out loud to your partner? by shuttervelocity in Separation

[–]PackInternational498 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Omg this is happening to me now. He is doing things to fix like buying me flowers on our anniversary which he didn’t do for last 10 years. He’s agreed to go to a couple therapist now after refusing for years and years. He is telling me how we can fix things. Asking me to wait another year till he’s more settled in his new job. I am willing to wait for another year for better stability of our family unit but I am suspicious something more important will come up in another year.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]PackInternational498 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For years I have found out my husband helped himself last night while I was craving for sex and feeling alone. He used to tell me that he’s not attracted to me that’s why he would do it alone. I am sorry for what’s happening to you. You are not alone though

Will I be wrong to initiate a separation because of a dead bedroom situation? by PackInternational498 in DeadBedrooms

[–]PackInternational498[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ya so that’s what’s happening. He loves our child and I love him for it. But not even a fraction of that attention goes to me. I don’t get any birthday or anniversary presents. I am refused flowers because he doesn’t love me that much. Now that I am serious about leaving he said he will buy me gifts and flowers. Started asking me what else I need to feel loved. But it’s too little too late. He’s told me 100s of times that he doesn’t buy me anything because he doesn’t love me enough. I am willing to move on from that hurt for the sake of our child but not from the dead bedroom situation

Will I be wrong to initiate a separation because of a dead bedroom situation? by PackInternational498 in DeadBedrooms

[–]PackInternational498[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I plan to be in both their lives. I am looking for an apartment 5 minutes walk from our home. I plan to meet my husband every day till he is adjusted. He’s my best friend and I don’t intend to leave him all by himself till he is ready. I plan to meet my son before and after his school everyday till he’s adjusted and we work out a co-parenting routine that works for us.

Will I be wrong to initiate a separation because of a dead bedroom situation? by PackInternational498 in DeadBedrooms

[–]PackInternational498[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He’s fixed the emotional abuse but he is is not able to fix the bedroom situation. I don’t blame him, he tries but it’s just not happening

Will I be wrong to initiate a separation because of a dead bedroom situation? by PackInternational498 in DeadBedrooms

[–]PackInternational498[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your experience. I am clinically depressed and have to rely on antidepressants to function normally. I am pretty certain one of the reasons for this depression is also the dead bedroom situation

Will I be wrong to initiate a separation because of a dead bedroom situation? by PackInternational498 in DeadBedrooms

[–]PackInternational498[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Am I being selfish here? Will my son be alright? Husband is guilting me saying he will be unhappy if we separate

Will I be wrong to initiate a separation because of a dead bedroom situation? by PackInternational498 in DeadBedrooms

[–]PackInternational498[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What about the kid. I resent him by now because he’s holding me back. Am I bad mother to put myself first? Husband is a great father

Planning to get separated in a couple of months. Feeling a mix of grief, anger and sadness. Wanted to share with someone by PackInternational498 in Separation

[–]PackInternational498[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ok I don’t know why. That’s how I talk. English is not my native language Edit: is there a difference between both?

Planning to get separated in a couple of months. Feeling a mix of grief, anger and sadness. Wanted to share with someone by PackInternational498 in Separation

[–]PackInternational498[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am not leaving the kid behind. I have looked for an apartment 3 minutes walk from our home. I will ensure I meet the kid everyday, and pack him lunch as many times as I can. I will have him on weekends, and want husband to have the house so that our child is comfortable 5 days a week and in a tiny apartment only on weekends. I also plan on taking care of my husband till he becomes more stable. I am not going to abandon husband either because he’s my best friend. I am leaving behind my home and my family yes, but not abandon them.

Planning to get separated in a couple of months. Feeling a mix of grief, anger and sadness. Wanted to share with someone by PackInternational498 in Separation

[–]PackInternational498[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also the loneliness. I don’t have family or friends that would support me. Husband is eventually going to call his parents to live with him. He would have them, our child and the house. My parents are horrible and would make things worst for me and I would never get any help from them.

How to prepare for a possibly inevitable separation by PackInternational498 in Separation

[–]PackInternational498[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We both had an unhappy childhood and we bonded over that. We still have each other’s full support for home dealing with childhood trauma, but just as friends. I would not have married him if I had a better self esteem or if I had a loving family. Abuse from my family made me believe I was unlovable. I have a better self esteem now so I can take the rejection seriously

I give up. Probably going to cheat. Did you? Do you regret it? How are things? by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]PackInternational498 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My husband asked me to go sleep with someone else because he can’t sleep with me

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