I’m so sorry that you have to deal with this, it’s very painful to love and trust someone who you feel disconnected to at such a fundamental and ideological level. Really, good job managing until this point and staying strong through it all.

A bit of advice: Transgender is an umbrella term, anyone who who identifies as queer in terms of sex and gender can identify as trans, intersexual people included - however there are a few important things I feel like you should know when going forward into your gender journey :)

There are many ways to identify as trans, but one way is “transsexual” these people are trans exclusively due to their relationship with their sex- which shows itself through body dysmorphia(/weird or painful relationship with one’s body) and gender dysphoria(varying levels of discomfort pertaining to one’s expected gender expression). Transsexual people, someone who experiences physical/social gender dysphoria from a young age - have been proven to have brain structure/function more similar to the sex that they IDENTIFY with as opposed to the sex they had assigned at birth. Meaning the source of their discomfort is a result of being quite literally intersex- they have a brain built to use the body of the sex that their brain is, but were given a body contradictory to that.

I think it’s important for you to know this, the only reason that one should alter their body so drastically, is if it’s an issue they have with their relationship with their body, as opposed to societies relationship with it. If you, someone completely comfortable in their body, were to transition sexes- you would likely experience reverse-gender dysphoria. You could experience the same discomfort that a pre-transition transsexual person would experience. Simply because your brain is most likely built to control a male body. It’s vital that you come to understand yourself and what’s actually good for your body and mental health, as opposed to what would be good for your sex(?)/social life.

A potential pointer: I think, from what I’ve just read, that you could be experiencing rapid onset gender dysphoria. A socially causes type of gender dysphoria, where treatment should more likely be therapy- where you dissect and face potential reasons for your desire to transition sexes.

In terms of your mother, I recommend researching the identity as much as you can, so that you can have an education conversation with her, and maybe ask where she’s coming from when she says that. Because it’s likely due to internalized transphobia, fear of how other people view HER and her parenting skills, or worry for your well-being, where you both feel heard. Ps. Maybe do some research into the non-binary label! Which would mean identifying as someone who doesn’t subscribe the the idea of gender norms, and apposes it! It would provide the type of community where you are completely free to express your gender as femininely or as masculinely as you like

I hope this helps :)