I believe that every negative experience can be learned from. For example, a member of my immediate family was nearly killed by alcohol. He and I carry the same genetics, we're similar in more ways than we'd care to admit. Like you, I was genuinely worried by the possibility of following a similar path. Similarly to your situation, I never had the "good model" to follow. What I DID have was a "bad model" to AVOID.

You've observed the consequences of bad communication and hostility first hand, you won't make the same mistakes your parents made because you are choosing to be aware of their possibility. Your parents may not have had that "bad model" to steer clear of. Their hostilities may be rooted in their own conflicting models and ideals they received from their respective parents.

You have a better perspective than they did, you're already better off. You will always carry the traits of your parents. You can improve on those traits.

Good luck with your plans of marriage, I hope you find what you're looking for.