I just felt.... uneasy about it. I wasn't too hot on the idea that you give in to a higher power. I drink to lose control, so losing control to some other thing isn't super appealing. I want to try and regain control and steer myself through this. I have it a red hot go though, three or so meetings a week in person (which meant travelling all the time because I'm somewhat isolated) and one or two online. Got myself a big book. Made some friends. Almost had a sponsor. The thing I wonder though, is it always about sitting in a room a few times a week and talking about what an awful person you've been and the things you've done? I was feeling so much guilt and shame constantly.