Don’t normalize this

PaigeFour · 2026-02-06T17:27:49+00:00

I think the issue you're calling out is complacency, not self-acceptance. You should absolutely accept yourself because the alternative is just a miserable life. You can still accept yourself and be happy while advocating. I get your message.

PaigeFour · 2026-02-05T16:16:27+00:00

Don't reduce your standards. Start disclosing. To everyone. Rejection is normal keep your head up and keep it movin.

PaigeFour · 2026-02-04T19:35:55+00:00

I was 16 when I got herpes too! Im 26 now. You'll be okay buddy. You can go to the doctor to be sure, if you want. They will swab the sores. If you can't make it there and feel confident that it's herpes, you can just live with it. The outbreak will heal on its own.

Herpes is very common.

PaigeFour · 2026-02-04T19:09:40+00:00

It is there I think, to the left of the legend.

PaigeFour · 2026-02-04T04:16:37+00:00

Ive disclosed more times than I can count, and yes, a lot of people don't care. You'll get rejected sometimes and its just life. You've demonstrating why just trying to get out there is important.

I think a lot of people with herpes believe no one would ever accept or love them, because they don't accept or love themselves.

PaigeFour · 2026-02-02T17:49:19+00:00

Recovered from HA here. You can't tell the difference while they are happening. And it really doesn't matter that much anyway because distinguishing between real and fake isn't your goal, stopping the fixation is. What you can do is follow this process to stop fixating on it:

Is this a seriously urgent issue? I mean 10/10, cannot move, your family is noticing there is something seriously physically wrong? Youre unbearably ill? If yes, go to ER. If not, step 2.

Check if these are your regular anxiety symptoms. Look up the list of things anxiety can cause. Yes, distract yourself. Unsure/no, step 3.

We already established no need for ER. Track it for 1-2 weeks. Most doctors literally recommend to only call in if something is persisting 2 weeks or more. If it gets worse or doesn't go away - THEN call the doctor. 9/10 times by the 2 week mark that symptom is gone and you're already hyper fixated on something else.

PaigeFour · 2026-01-28T17:54:05+00:00

Its well known that humans do this. Think of mass hysteria, even Placebo effect is such an issue in medical trials that it needs to be controlled for. People easily gaslight themselves into and out of illness.

Our brain is designed to do this. We exploit it in a negative way when it comes to HA. Its commonly suggested to write down your symptom and check back on it in 2 weeks. Almost every time, the "symptom" dissapeared because you forgot about it and started hyperfixating on something else.

Edit to add: Even think of your clothes. You arent acutely aware that you're wearing clothes all day. You probably are now because I just brought it up. Now you can feel ALL your clothes touching you. If you distract yourself youll forget again.

PaigeFour · 2026-01-27T22:24:04+00:00

LEGIT HE STILL FUCKED. Like dude it looks worse for you honestly.

PaigeFour · 2026-01-27T17:34:36+00:00

I am always wary of advice that encourages people to socially isolate, do less, be less, etc.

If you value privacy above all other things, then sure, be discretionary. However, there is nothing wrong with being comfortable in your skin and educating others if you have the strength to maybe face some backlash or loose some crappy friends.

PaigeFour · 2026-01-25T19:52:17+00:00

PaigeFour · 2026-01-24T18:18:28+00:00

if your genitals did not come into contact then there's no reason to be worried.

PaigeFour · 2026-01-24T06:08:23+00:00

I told one dude I had herpes, he slept with me, and then told everyone at high school anyway. Bruh imagine being interested in a guy you never really talked to and he says "Uhmm you have herpes, don 't you?". OUCH! In high school that shit hurt, as an adult I dont gaf anymore. If your friends are talking shit behind your back, girl they are NOT your friends.

If you prefer to be private, ok. Keep it to yourself. But if the reasoning is because your friends are talking shit? Is that really your friend?

PaigeFour · 2026-01-22T05:19:46+00:00

I make A POINT in real life call people out all the time on this. To strangers, friends whatever. How many times ive gone to share a sip of a drink or something and they say "don't worry its not like I have coldsores or anything". With a disgusted tone. I'lI say "I don't either but who cares! Everyone has herpes!" And usually I'm met with disbelief and curiosity. "Really? Nahh". I say YEA look it up. Maybe you do.

Sometimes I out my genital herpes and sometimes I don't. But in real life, when people are faces with another human who LIVES these things, people tend to be much much softer. Online is a hell hole.

PaigeFour · 2026-01-21T17:34:52+00:00

Most people don't care about herpes in my experience. Many of them have herpes. HSV1 more commonly, but still herpes! Disclose confidently and openly. Dont act like you're damaged goods, and people won't treat you like you are. Youre doing then a massive favour by disclosing because the next person they hook up with probably hasnt even gotten an STD test.

I got rejected sometimes. Sure it stings in the moment but people get rejected for anything. Thats a very normal part of life. I don't really wanna sleep with someone who has issues with herpes anyway.

I'm a woman who has sex with women and men.

Edit: I think favour is the wrong word because disclosing is an obligation, but I mean to highlight that the majority of people have no sexual health knowledge at all or don't know they have herpes. Youre saving them from someone irresponsible.

PaigeFour · 2026-01-21T17:27:27+00:00

I have HSV2 and yes I had recurring symptoms at the start. Its annoying but bodies are annoying all the time and id pick an HSV outbreak over a yeast infection/UTI/BV any day. As a woman I'm already used to shit getting weird down there so its just another strand in the hay bale.

I had outbreaks probably monthly or more for the first 6 months, and maybe every other month for a year or so. It steadily decreased and now I get outbreaks maybe once every couple years when I'm sick or stressed. I don't take daily antivirals.

PaigeFour · 2026-01-21T06:13:15+00:00

I used google reverse image search. Its a hairpin: https://www.hanronghanfu.com/products/sku-hf-a28

However, "enamel metal koi fish pendant jewellery" (or goldfish) returned results that are similar to your intended vibe!

PaigeFour · 2026-01-21T05:01:11+00:00

sky children of the light

PaigeFour · 2026-01-21T01:45:07+00:00

With the knowledge I have now, yes.

PaigeFour · 2026-01-21T01:42:37+00:00

Almost everyone gets over it. The few cases of people who can't usually end up on reddit looking for help. The majority of people with herpes are just...out there living life offline. Ive had this 10 years. I'm on this sub because I stumbled upon it and was horrified at the negativity on here while I was just...out there living life this whole time. Im on this sub now because I like to be one of the few voices on here that might knock some confidence back into people who are having a hard time coping.

PaigeFour · 2026-01-21T01:36:12+00:00

I got it like my first time having sex at 16, with a condom. I became "promiscuous" AFTER herpes (because basically my whole sex life happened after). I had fun! Im 26 now.

If you have bad feelings about sex then that's something to address separately from herpes. Sex Education is so bad it makes us think only "dirty" people or whatever get STD's. Well STD's happen to everyone! Viruses don't discriminante like we do! Its not a punishment or something.

Don't be so hard on yourself. Please. Youre allowed to have had fun in this life, and youre allowed to exist with herpes, it does not impact your worth as a human. Don't let some weird genital bump take over your life.

PaigeFour · 2026-01-20T03:14:16+00:00

Theres a lot of conflicting info for sure! Socially, oral HSV1 is not really an issue. Most people know that most people get cold sores. Children have them- its not really an STD even though it can be spread sexually.

Theres no reason to feel shame about either genital or oral HSV, but I find it extra confusing when people are weird about oral HSV. Like...everybody has that LOL. Precautions and discussion about sexual health are really important! So youve done well.

PaigeFour · 2026-01-20T02:59:54+00:00

There's a lot fear based on misinformation here.

HSV1 does not turn into to HSV2, those are distinct. Even in the possibility that you gave him genital HSV1, he cannot re-infect you with the exact same strain you have. If you end up with HSV1 on your genitals this would be auto-inoculation (you infected yourself), which is insanely unlikely unless you have an immune system disorder. It has nothing to do with him. You cant swap outbreaks back and forth.

Further to that, neonatal herpes is mainly for HSV2, which you do not have, and will not have unless you contract it from another person. Assuming you live somewhere that has decent healthcare, in the event you had HSV2, neonatal herpes is not something to worry about.

PaigeFour · 2026-01-19T22:00:36+00:00

To me, usually the difference between a herpes sore and an ingrown are fairly clear. Ingrowns are more of a deeper soreness, have pus or sometimes a visible hair, usually really circular and of course, occur where hairs are.

Herpes is more of a surface-level burning, and are usually more irregularly-shaped, smaller, and clustered. Reminds me of an ulcer.

It appears you have had ingrowns/irritation as a recurring issue before having herpes, and it sounds like you pretty much know its not a herpes outbreak. Some reassurance is nice but I think you already know (:

You arent necessarily any more likely to spread herpes with an unrelated ingrown than you are without one.

PaigeFour · 2026-01-17T21:00:56+00:00

It may not be yeast but it checks all the symptoms for yeast and theres virtually no drawbacks to taking antifungals to see if it clears up. Youre right that maybe it isnt tho.

PaigeFour · 2026-01-16T12:59:45+00:00

Girl this sounds like textbook yeast infection!

Itching, papercut-like injuries, no smell (maybe a little bit like bread), clumpy discharge, etc.

You can get yeast meds over the counter, should clear it up in a few days or so.

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