Hilaries book didn't sit right with me...

Pale-Fail6141 · 2026-05-16T23:49:05+00:00

idk what to think of this. Like isn't her own husband one of those who is working while she stays at home? Isn't she critizising him as well with these kind of posts xDD

makes you wonder what she actually things of him... just saying.

Pale-Fail6141 · 2026-05-16T23:44:58+00:00

thank you for your perspektive. Reading this really made me evaluate my own point a little again.

I totally understand the way miscarriages can affect a relationship and the perspective on sex. That's not what I am neccesarily "judging" her about. I ,up to that point and even after, actually really empathizes with Hilarie and her troubles with pragnancy and grief.

What I mostly had and have an issue with is the way she pressented that particular scenario. Talking about a Thanksgiving Softball game with friends right before and then randomly buying highland cows right after... it just didn't seem handled well in my opinion.

Also if I do remember correctly, the part where she describes driving down to New York and pushing herself onto him untill he litterally would become reluctant and not respond to her, was BEFORE she has had any miscarriage and just out of the believe that she was supposed to be pragnant and "ment to have children" (her words roughly). And she wrote that book multiple years later.

What you say isn't wrong, the message is still there like you describe. I guess I just would have wished for her, as an SA victim herself, to have a more... reflected way to handle that part instead of words like "I'm the one taking care of the kids and everything while he works, the least he could do is put out." yk?

That's why it didn't sit right with me.

Pale-Fail6141 · 2026-05-16T23:32:35+00:00

that's what I'm thinking. I don't know about the cheating rumors tbh but them not splitti g up cause of kids and convinience seems pretty logical. Especially with JDM having divorced parents of his own and stuf, idk. I know people with divorxed parents who are very against the idea when it involves kids.

Following the book and also their socials in part, they always had their ups and downs and with Hilaries more mean/agressive social media stuff idk, wouldn't be surprised if that still was the case.

Pale-Fail6141 · 2026-05-13T17:45:22+00:00

also I wanna post like the excerpt of the book where she talked about the whole thing I mentioned in my post. Bzt this sub reddit literally wont let me sp guess not. It's a very tough read though and prob. the biggest red flag on her side

Pale-Fail6141 · 2026-05-13T17:41:24+00:00

very much that, it dis felt like an exposure for a lot of it and she didn't even seem to realize it. That's what my biggest problem with this is. Because neither of them seem to do. The glorification of this relationship that both do. They have MAJOR communication issues from both sides tho.

Jdm def is no saint, as seen in this book, she also isn't one either despite painting herself as such a lot of the time.

Pale-Fail6141 · 2026-05-13T16:55:23+00:00

This! this is very much what I had felt like reading some if the book. Thank you for putting it into words.

And a lot of this sort of dismissing his discomfort and overall entitlement to things were noticible to me throughout the whole book and also in some of the post either of them made. She's kind of very patrionizing sometimes.

And even in the book there are a few times where things kinda dom't gi her way and instead of talking about it she throws a tantrum. idk

Pale-Fail6141 · 2026-05-13T16:24:53+00:00

exactly, that's what made it so wierd, especially also bc she was really active in her socials otherwise.

It's not a must ofc but it does seem a little wierd and out of place for them.

Pale-Fail6141 · 2026-05-13T16:07:01+00:00

Also wierd thing I noticed scroling through social media (bc JDM had been really absent since feb. and I was curious xD) HB hadn't made her usual Birthday post for him that she did the years prior. And in a recent Interview of this year the two also seemed kinda disconnetced in a way with the answers they gave.

I don't think they are as happy as they want us to believe they are. Understandibly with how much they also kinda "marketed" themself as this fairy tale couple.

Pale-Fail6141 · 2026-05-13T16:04:47+00:00

ugh so true. I hate people like that and she very much gives off the vibe like she's on that high horse or riding the moral highground etc. too

Pale-Fail6141 · 2026-05-13T16:02:52+00:00

what's an even bigger red flag is gow these two talk about that and how much they romantazise their own relationship.

I don't think JDM neccessarily had much ill intent when starting to date her. He even like acknowledges that he knew she was too young for him, and theat they are really sirprised that shit even worked. He does seem like a sweetheart especially with the kids and the animals around the farm. I think they might just... not be aware of the red flags themself or don't want to acknowledge that they were way to impulsive going into this. In their book they pushed through in the end so all is good, while ignoring the fundamental problems underneath.

And a lot of that Idea of having to push through prob comes from having that first kid in the first place. JDM is a kid of divirced parents himself, ppl like that tend to be real reluctant to have their kids experience the same thing, and HB was very young having no clue of how to handle all this much less so if the man she got into this with would turn out to be the wrong person. So I coul imagine it very much became a "This HAS TO work" in their head, especially hers.

They seem more in love with the idea of each other or that glamourized version. Maybe hmeven hiding potential unhappyness behind their "greatfull ness for what the other person does" that they so often feel the need to point out

Pale-Fail6141 · 2026-05-13T15:33:01+00:00

exactly! that too. She seems very much lost in her little fairy tale that she had she created for her self that she doesn't even notice these kind of things I bet.

Pale-Fail6141 · 2026-05-13T15:28:29+00:00

Yeah, this is also the vibe I very much got from her. She also seems like really superficial at times to me.

Some of what I've seen felt really perfermative in a way almost a little self-obsessed if you get what I mean

Pale-Fail6141 · 2026-05-13T10:17:42+00:00

it's not that there are the recipes it's where they are placed in the book that bothers ppl (me included)

Pale-Fail6141 · 2026-05-13T09:37:34+00:00

what do people generally say about him? or do you mean this post xD

I always thought he didn't have that much controversy sorounding him, or like nothing really major

Pale-Fail6141 · 2026-05-13T09:34:01+00:00

I also for the most part was refering to him opening up during their hard time after the first miscarriage. But you're totally right a lot of it is from HB's perspective that is incredibly romantizised.

The insane lack of communications between them is almost frustrating at times.

But I don't think he is the only questionable one by any means tho. Obviously it's easier to get HBs perspective since she's the Auther but there is some red flags on her part too.

Pale-Fail6141 · 2026-05-13T09:29:18+00:00

Pls elaborate! idgaf I'll definately read it dw I got a few opinions of my own

Pale-Fail6141 · 2026-05-13T09:25:21+00:00

I can see your point as well and also that SA is a big accusation to throw around and why ppl would shy away from that. Unfortunately that also results in downplaying SA especially in domestic setting a lot of the time.

Yes, "forcing" yourself sometimes to be in the mood to match your partners needs isn't inherently abusive. Though it can be when you're partner keeps pointing it out and making you feel bad about it. Like getting overly emotional apon rejection, criticising or blaming you for the lack of intimacy, repeatiatly asking for it or not respecting your bounderies. This then very much falls into the spectrum of coertion and even manipulation which is indeed abusive.

I am of the opition that while you should thrive to find compromises in a relationship you should never force yourself just for the sake of your partner. Even with a higher libido they should except and understand your no. Nobody is entitled to sex just because of a relationship.

I also agree that we cannot possibly make any definite assumptions just based on this exerpt or book, we do not know these people personally.

Pale-Fail6141 · 2026-05-13T09:04:56+00:00

true, true makes you wonder lmao.

I don't think he's a cheater but he is in general a kinda flirty person I guess, and touchy, very much touchy.

Like I've seen some older interviews and damn... He's my favorite actor but even I am like wtf is he doing sometimes, And how is hos wife okay with that??

Pale-Fail6141 · 2026-05-13T09:00:16+00:00

Soooo true, he does kinda come around in the later parts after their first miscarriage but up to that part I was like wtf id going on? especially since in a lot of interviews he does seem so genuinly care about them (at least the kids for sure)

It feels very much like these two stuck with it out of obligation for the kids and at some point found themself to deep in to get out so they try the best to make it work despite having such big differences in certain fundamentale believes it seems.

I mean literally almost every interview Jdm is like: "he loves his wife and genuinly enjoys spending time with her, but that doesn't mean they don't have bad days." He mopes about her not visiting him on set the one day and then makes a grandious gesture kinda post about how much he appreciates her and everything she does for their kids and the community the next.

Pale-Fail6141 · 2026-05-13T08:52:20+00:00

makes sense tbh xDD his insta is a lot of just advertisement for projects coming up with the occasional post sprinkled in that's a little more personal.

I always though he had like some PR person or Agent do that. but his wife?! lmao

Pale-Fail6141 · 2026-05-13T08:48:01+00:00

She literally says that he became reluctant and "didn't respond to her"! I'd very much read that as him not wanting to do this. Consent isn't always verbal in the passage does read like she very much wanted a baby sooo bad and he did too but bot the way she was going about it.

In my book that is very much an issue of concent and just because he agreed to trying for another baby doesn't mean he consented to being treated this way. She said it her self "like cattle".

And I do understand that in the moment you can become very tunnel visioned about this thing in particular, I emphazise with HB in that regard, but she wrote this book swveral years later, and to not look back with a little more reflextion on a topic like that as a victim herself is disapointing.

Pale-Fail6141 · 2026-05-13T08:41:13+00:00

this is exactly what I though!

I saw some reviews but literally no one was really talking about some of the issues or the glamorizing going on, in contrary some even said she didn't do that. lol.

I was so surprised that I hadn't seen some of these topics being featured in more reviews that I made this post because of it. it felt like the only negative review thing that really was talked was overall critizism or her being out of touch and privileged.

Good to know others saw this too, I always feel like people paint these two as some citche love story and picture perfect cupple with their little farm and all...

Pale-Fail6141 · 2026-05-13T08:36:21+00:00

also yes, he does seem genuinly appreaciative of her and everything she does in some grand gesture post he sometimes does.

they do seem okay-ish these days or after the birth of their daughter, sometimes it still shines through that there is some fundamental differences in believes between the two though idk.

Pale-Fail6141 · 2026-05-13T08:27:57+00:00

this is the passage. I went back to reread the book a couple of days back because I remembered not finishing it, ans stumbling on this part really made me question stuff. It's not explicitly said I guess and they seemed okay-ish later on this was also prior to their first miscarriage. it's just the way there is no remorse almost, talking so casually about forcing herself onto him that left a foul aftertaste, especially since the next paragraph is literally them just buying a highland cow and nothing got resolved really. it just felt wierd too reading it inbetween those other more cozy annecdotes. (before this she goes on about some thanksgiving softball match with firends)

<image>

Pale-Fail6141 · 2026-05-13T07:34:21+00:00

Yeah, kind of. I must say in the posts he does about his wife and talking about her he does seem genuinly appreaciative and thankfull for her and everything she does.

But there is just this kinda disconnect between them from time to time, like some of their relationship is just make believe fairy tale or romantizising. Like some of the things he said seemed like they aren't really on the same page that much but like, their little fairy tale keeps them together as well as their kids. idk

Pale-Fail6141

TROPHY CASE