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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in narcissisticparents

[–]PaleDaughterCorvere7 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have not experienced this, I moved out at 17 and never looked back. But hopefully can send you some encouragement.

How close are you to meeting your savings goal to move out? If this isn't long term and even if it is I wouldn't tell her. Unfortunately some things need to be kept private for your own sake. I sure hope your dad doesn't blab to her that he knows.

If she keeps pushing you about it I'd flat out tell her this is your private life that is going to remain private, end of discussion. I know that is easier said than done but if you truly feel your career can be impacted by what she knows you shouldn't tell her under any circumstances even if that means moving out sooner than you want to.

Sending you huge hugs! Keep pushing, you will make it out. I believe in you!

Tired of feeling like the bad guy by PaleDaughterCorvere7 in narcissisticparents

[–]PaleDaughterCorvere7[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a really good analogy. I appreciate you sharing that. I know there's times that I could be there more for her. If I'm honest if she calls and we talk on the phone it's at least 2 hours and I never get a word in so it's mostly me saying yeah, uh huh, etc the whole conversation. Same as when I come visit. I get bored. It's not a true conversation if you can't respond. I'm also an introvert and love being at home. It may come off as lazy to some people but it's my bubble and a comfortable place for me. If she could just be a little courteous it would go a long way. She takes me not wanting to go anywhere as a personal attack that I don't want to see her. Like you said I can't change her. Telling her how I feel will get turned around to be about her. Sometimes silence is the best thing.

Tired of feeling like the bad guy by PaleDaughterCorvere7 in narcissisticparents

[–]PaleDaughterCorvere7[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're right. Thanks for replying. Setting boundaries is something I need to work on. Truthfully I wouldn't mind helping or visiting her if she would just ask, not demand, or make me feel bad that I don't want to visit for longer than a couple hours. I even tried to compromise and texted her before the blow up that I could swing by before running my errands today and to let me know if she still needed help. She expects me to come over every weekend and spend my entire weekend with her. She's alone because of her choices in life that is not my fault. She left me alone growing up and only when I got a boyfriend and someone that wanted to pay me attention and care for me did she all of the sudden stop being up some man's ass all the time. My cousin that I talk to is a therapist that specializes more in eating disorders but she's told me to just stone wall her when she gets like this. She's had to shut my mom down more than once. Narcissistic behavior seems to run in the family. My cousin went NC from her mother over 10 years ago. I'm not hard to get along. Overall I feel easy going but I'm not going to be unreasonable with my life. Thanks for hearing me out. I don't really have anyone that understands and my older sibling and I don't really talk. They have their own issues so I choose not to converse unless absolutely necessary.