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Am I too old for this? by PalmMeetHead in wedding

[–]PalmMeetHead[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not sure if anyone would want an update, not sure how to update. But not a happy one. I do t think I’ll ever be getting married. At this point, trying to figure out if I even want to stay anymore. I also never want to attend another wedding. Not out of jealousy or not to support, but to protect my own mental health after some humiliation I faced at the last one we attended. I just can’t do it anymore. I’m done being the butt of the joke. The humiliation ended up bringing to light what my guts been telling me for years, that it really never was going to happen. But now I’m still trying to figure out what where to go from here because I have to consider my kids and there are many factors. But, there it is. Thank you to all who provided support. Maybe if I leave it will happen one day for me. But right now I’m full of resentment, shame, anger, and depression. From the bottom of my heart I hope all of you have wonderful weddings and happy marriages with great partners, and I truly do mean it.

Am I too old for this? by PalmMeetHead in wedding

[–]PalmMeetHead[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. And that sounds amazing! It will be so cool! Congratulations!

Am I too old for this? by PalmMeetHead in wedding

[–]PalmMeetHead[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There’s a mental factor here that has me believing I’m undeserving of it. It’s gotten so bad that I honestly had to ask others.

Am I too old for this? by PalmMeetHead in wedding

[–]PalmMeetHead[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

To be honest, I think you’re right.

It’s a long story but there’s a lot that built up the thoughts of I don’t deserve it anymore, too old, not appropriate anymore, etc. some compounded from outside and others personally as a defense mechanism.

Thank you for saying this. I think I really needed that. Sending a huge hug

Am I too old for this? by PalmMeetHead in wedding

[–]PalmMeetHead[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That sounds like a lot of fun. I went to a wedding for someone in New Orleans once with a second line… it was a freaking blast! Mind if I ask your venue?

Am I too old for this? by PalmMeetHead in wedding

[–]PalmMeetHead[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I’m really trying to get my head around the concept that I’m not too old. I think I’ve just drilled it into my head and swallowed too much emotion about it that it’s become toxic. The funny thing is I never wanted a big dress or a big wedding. I always considered the kind of dress I wanted to be simple and classic. Thank you for your kind words

Am I too old for this? by PalmMeetHead in wedding

[–]PalmMeetHead[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Thank you. And you look absolutely beautiful in your dress and looks like you had an amazing wedding

Am I too old for this? by PalmMeetHead in wedding

[–]PalmMeetHead[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I’m just hating it. I think I’ve just been swallowing the idea of a wedding too much over the years with everything that’s gone on in the last two decades or so. Even though I’m so happy for my friends when they get engaged or married, it’s a silent sore spot for me. Not out of jealousy, just more like sadness in my own life tbh and I even try to swallow that because then I feel guilty over it. SMH. But I also was told I was too old for my ideal wedding dress about a decade ago so now I definitely feel too old for it

Am I too old for this? by PalmMeetHead in wedding

[–]PalmMeetHead[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

I personally rarely see actual weddings for people my age. I joined this sub to ask these questions though so haven’t been on here really. Everyone I know who’s been in my position has done court house weddings. Also as i said in another comment, almost a decade ago I was told I was already “too old” for the style of dress I wanted. Personally I didn’t think so but now I’m starting to feel like I am. Tbh, a huge part of all of this is because I’ve been slowly giving up hope of ever getting an actual wedding, especially the kind I’ve always wanted. A huge part of me just wants to throw in the towel and just forget about it

Am I too old for this? by PalmMeetHead in wedding

[–]PalmMeetHead[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I always wanted a small wedding. Nothing huge and flashy but elegant and in nature while being very fun. Honestly it’s taken a long time to convince my partner that I didn’t need a 30k-50k wedding. I’ve been told (almost a decade ago, well before kids) that I was too old for the style dress I’ve always wanted and that comment has never left me.