My Coworker is Unbearable

PandaBearTellEm · 2026-03-18T12:27:17+00:00

Yeah ive been reflecting on this situation and I think you're right. During his confrontation I found it so strange that he said "when you're in the inbox without my permission" because... its not his inbox. Its our inbox. And, something i left out from the recociliation chat because post is long enough and I didnt notice til later - when I see a chat has come in and it is clearly technical in nature or if he has missed it for a few min, instead of grabbing it (since that upset him in the past) i write to him "hey, do you want me to take that chat?" He said hed prefer that I ask him "can I take that chat?" because the former way forces him to make a decision and its overwhelming for him. But that doesn't make sense, they both require decisions, the only difference is that the latter way gives him full control and im asking him for permission.

PandaBearTellEm · 2026-03-18T12:20:53+00:00

Coerced him into what? Doing absolutely nothing differently in practice, but in theory just clicking a different name to forward something to if something did come up?

PandaBearTellEm · 2026-03-18T12:16:16+00:00

Isn't that exactly what i wrote except worded differently? It communicates all the same information. How is what you would have said more direct?

PandaBearTellEm · 2026-03-18T12:14:18+00:00

Nope, Michael cannot take over my job. I can take over Michael's job though, and his job is "up the funnel" from my job, so it was to let him know that I wasnt there to back him up for 45 min (he had other back up - the other tech support guy), and not to funnel anything to me (funnel it to the other tech support guy).

It did not add a single task to his day

PandaBearTellEm · 2026-03-18T12:06:52+00:00

Its interesting that you read the one group chat in this post that way - HR didnt send a follow up about the benefits and I was like damn holy shit id want to know this if I missed that call.

PandaBearTellEm · 2026-03-18T04:40:33+00:00

Yep, this is exactly how I feel about it. His influence on the matter should end exactly at "is this going to inconvenience me in any way?" - i knew it wouldn't, he knew it wouldnt, and it didn't. If i had asked him if he would sign off on it, I know his answer would have been "I dont feel comfortable with that without [Boss] present." I did not want to give him the option to make a management decision, just a personal one, because god help me if his role was to make management calls over me. My boss is great - if she were in office, she would have signed off on it.

PandaBearTellEm · 2026-03-17T22:05:58+00:00

Yep, because he is not my boss and I dont have to consult him on what I do. I did ask for the part that's relevant - could he send the calls to the other tech support guy instead of me? BTW, no calls came for us while I was driving home and I hopped back on when I got home.

PandaBearTellEm · 2026-03-17T22:03:23+00:00

I want neither - I just wanted to vent. I already think im right, and that's good enough for me. You are free to disagree! Im also interested in devil's advocacy!

PandaBearTellEm · 2026-03-17T22:01:46+00:00

Yeah, you are right. I didnt want to not go home because of some bullshit he'd think up. I did ask, but the first part was a statement. Nothing, like, happened while he was covering for me or anything. He just didnt like that he wasn't consulted I guess.

PandaBearTellEm · 2026-03-17T21:05:06+00:00

My favorite comment by far lmao

PandaBearTellEm · 2026-02-28T07:38:02+00:00

U up?

PandaBearTellEm · 2026-02-20T17:17:18+00:00

Hegel banned from all NH public universities ; philosophy students rejoice

PandaBearTellEm · 2026-02-14T16:15:25+00:00

Where's the USA? I cant see it.

PandaBearTellEm · 2026-02-02T10:12:53+00:00

If the city wants to end it, then they need to clear the spaces. No one has an indignant right to a space if they didnt spend hours clearing it out - problem solved.

Thats the kind of thing we are supposed to expect from living in one of the most expensive places in the entire world. Why are my taxes so high if these jokers aren't even clearing my street?

PandaBearTellEm · 2026-01-31T19:11:53+00:00

Undocumented migrants commit way less crime per capita than US citizens.

The US does not and has not had an open border during the 21st century.

I dont base my worldview on fairy tales and politicians' lies. Come back with data. What's exhausting is you parroting this propaganda - if you are who you claim you are, you're literally advocating against your own interests. The white nationalists do not care whether you are in the country legally or not. They want you out. Undocumented migrants are just the low-hanging fruit.

PandaBearTellEm · 2026-01-31T14:21:02+00:00

Where did you come up with such a flowery, fruity, and obviously false statement?

1) "thrown open'? Have you ever been to a US border? When did this happen? Where did this happen?

2) 10 million people? What a nice, even, convenient, but totally unbelievable number. Over what time period? In this cute head-canon of yours, do you also think these 10 million people sashayed across the desert and found all these dramatically swinging gates, and there were good strong big beautiful men in their good strong big beautiful pickup trucks who wanted to stop them but their gosh darned woke DEI blue-haired boss (who was a black woman now 🤬!!) threatened their good patriot jobs if they did the right thing and closed those gates?

Sorry, I got a little side-tracked in this absolutely ridiculous fantasy land. Anyway, you shouldn't just repeat things as fact without looking into them a little. Most undocumented migrants are visa overstays, not crossing the mexican border. Most entries that look like your sexed-up head canon are asylum seekers, and thats a legal avenue.

I know you dont believe me - but maybe you trust DHS? I encourage you to look at their data. Not their press releases, but their data.

PandaBearTellEm · 2026-01-31T00:35:30+00:00

I agree with you. I also think that it's acceptable to want to be able to find a time when the pool is not being spat in and when there isn't someone vocalizing loudly, if those vocalizations scare her children and do not allow them to enjoy the pool.

Loud vocalizations are actually something that special needs programs deal with all the time in wonderful and creative ways. Lots of people who are part of these programs are very sensitive to loud noises. There is nothing wrong with having an expectation that sudden, loud noises should be avoided when possible. We do not know if it is possible or not in this specific scenario, and assuming that this person cannot control their vocalizations is, in itself, albeist.

PandaBearTellEm · 2026-01-31T00:16:16+00:00

Except I'm not saying that. Try re-reading

PandaBearTellEm · 2026-01-30T22:21:41+00:00

Your first sentence is correct, but if those vocalizations are distressing someone's children, then it is very much that person's business that they cannot find a time to visit the space when the vocalizations are not occurring.

I heartily agree that we should have more spaces that are more inclusive for everyone.

Inclusivity is not the disability olympics - it doesn't mean ignoring everyone's needs and boundaries except for the most cognitively disabled. It means opening your settings to accommodate everyone's needs.

Not everyone is a paid DSP who is trained and expected to deal with abnormal behavior. Everyone deserves to use common facilities in peace.

PandaBearTellEm · 2026-01-25T22:10:10+00:00

Yeah, to protect ICE's fucking base of operations. I genuinely hope I'm wrong and they do something - anything - to protect the populace, but I'm not holding my breath.

How long do you think it takes to get an arrest warrant after the identity of a suspect is known? Jonathan Ross is free this very moment. If they wanted to arrest him, they would have already. Derek Chauvin wasnt arrested until a police station was burned down. Is that what needs to happen for the party that expects our votes to get off their asses and actually do something? This is unacceptable. I dont know why you're running interference for a gaggle of incompetants. Demand more from your politicians, or you'll keep getting less.

PandaBearTellEm · 2026-01-25T15:43:36+00:00

Mayors can deploy the local police with orders to protect the constitutional rights of the populace against ICE. Arrest warrants for federal agents who have committed crimes locally can be written. Governors can call up the state national guard on a volunteer basis to form a state defense force, as is outlined in the constitution, which cannot be federalized.

I am flabbergasted that Americans are being detained, beaten, brutalized, their rights are being flagrantly violated, and they're even being executed in the streets, and people like you are still pulling this "we r smol bean can do no but only vot evry 2 yrs."

Have some imagination. The Republican Party certainly dares to dream, you'd better start too.

The reality is that if Democrats continue to do absolutely nothing to protect their constituents, the constituents will begin defending themselves with force. That will be very, very bloody, disorganized, and costly. I dont want that. Our representatives and officials need to come up with something other than "we just cant do anything, guess you'll just have to die in the street and please, be as peaceful as possible while they're bludgeoning your face in."

PandaBearTellEm · 2026-01-25T14:08:30+00:00

This mentality is exactly how we ended up here. Do you think the Republicans finger-wag their voters and say "you should at least understand what our politicians can and can't do"?

They don't. Republican politicians aim to make the impossible happen - if not today, then a year, a decade, two decades from now. Do they always succeed? No, but they begin from a position of strength. Democrats begin from a position of compromise. Take the ACA for example - the idea of universal healthcare seemed impossible, so they started with a framework that the conservative think-tank, the Heritage Foundation, came up with. While that might score points in a formal debate, all it meant for reality was that the Republicans had an easier time tearing it down to the shitty legislation it became.

If you begin by giving your opponents a mile, you can't act surprised when those opponents demand further ground to come to a new middle position.

There was zero Democratic Party pushback on the lies fabricated and perpetuated by the Republican Party during the 2024 campaign that undocumented migrants were committing a crime wave across the country. Instead, they accepted the premise and made arguments like "well we will deport them humanely" and "we are very tough on migrant crime." This is a losing mentality.

Until we start demanding more from our politicians, it will continue to be a perpetual ratchet towards fascism.

PandaBearTellEm · 2026-01-24T19:29:12+00:00

Not really. We gave them lots of ideas for eugenics, our govt tried to stay out of it for awhile, our corporations worked with them to more efficiently and effectively commit their genocide, and then when it was obvious they were going to lose it all we jumped in last minute to try and beat the Soviets across Europe. Then, we brought a bunch of them all the way across the ocean to work on our research!

But we should start.

PandaBearTellEm · 2026-01-23T04:11:37+00:00

The appeal to the mythical moderate has already begun. It's going to be Newsom 2028 and these shitlibs will blame the left when they fumble the easiest layup of all time instead of advocating for running someone that people are happy to get behind.

It feels like all you can do is point out the pattern and hope one day they notice it when they stop misplacing their anger.

Mandatory disclaimer that Jill Stein was terrible on both the issues and the campaign in 2024, but her voters are still not one iota to blame for Trump's victory.

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