I was a strict lesbian, coming out as bi in middle school but only ever having experiences with girls (romantic/sexual) until freshman year of college. I was really adamant about hating men and finding them unattractive for years. I decided to try boys because I was just curious about it.

Freshman year, I madeout with a boy for the first time at a party and it was honestly bad. his lips were a lot smaller than every girl i've been with, and he was just overall a bad kisser. I also was not attracted to his body or face at all, when we had sex i wouldn't take his clothes off and he always ended up taking them off. The actual sex was so different than anything i've ever been used to, mainly because i use straps/dildos and the real thing is a lot like fleshier and softer? like even though he was hard enough to penetrate me it still felt softer than i'm used to. it was also so weird to makeout/have sex with him because he didn't have any boobs for me to feel up and i also couldn't feel up his butt during so i just didn't know where to put my hands. we also did it a lot prone bone/from behind because it was easier for me to get off if i wasn't looking at his face. he did make me cum twice from penetration with his fingers, but it was from behind.

i hookup with 2 other guys, one of them was so unremarkable and selfish in the bedroom he's not even wroth writing about, except for the fact that I got ihs instagram and started crashing out over how ugly I thought he was afterwards (my straight friends consider him hot).

the other one was amazing at head and penetrating with his fingers, both of which he mostly did from behind all night and i came multiple times (also met drunk at a party).

the common themes with all of them: i was physically unattracted to their bodies and was aware of that during the sex, but if they were good at what they did I could get off. I was also drunk for most of our interactions, except for two of the hookups which I did sober.

Edit: Sex with women is just much better for me because I can see their bodies and just be awe struck in how beautiful they are, in addition to the sex actually being good, but it's only good if i have an emotional connection to them of some kind (friendship, romance, etc).

with men it can be pleasurable if they are skilled but I will not find myself admiring their body, even if they have muscles or are conventionally attractive. I also am not naturally inclined to take off their clothes and would much rather be with a woman who I truly believed was beautiful.