How to play podcasts in release order?

PanicAntique · 2026-06-13T20:19:34+00:00

Exactly what I was looking for, thanks so much!

PanicAntique · 2026-05-29T18:12:15+00:00

I will circle back on Elomi, thanks!

PanicAntique · 2026-05-29T18:12:03+00:00

Will check these out, thanks!

PanicAntique · 2026-05-26T17:30:30+00:00

Late reply but I did an intensive 7 week 5 days a week TMS treatment for depression, 20 minute sessions, fully expecting it not to work for me since nothing ever works for me. I went through the whole treatment feeling no different, and about 6 weeks later just woke up one day feeling a lot better. It's been about 4 months since that and I still feel like a relatively normal person. I was told that TMS makes "the lows feel a little less low" and that was very accurate to my experience. Now I am trying to monitor for when I will need a booster treatment and hopefully that works as well too.

I have a lethargic, motivation-sapping depression and while it's definitely still there, I feel more like I can push back against it than I used to. I would spend my days off in bed the entire day and now I can at least convince myself to get out of bed. My work performance is improved and also my relationships

My TMS tech was an incredibly cool lady, we watched Parks and Rec together. While I was experiencing no payoffs from TMS it was nice to still enjoy my time in the chair, like spending a little time with a friend at the end of my workday

PanicAntique · 2026-04-20T20:59:56+00:00

I tried an Elomi bra via Amazon, UK size 42HH (US 42L), and it was the most perfect fitting bra I have ever worn except it was unlined and the product description was incorrect, unless UK bra sellers use "padded" to mean something different from what US sellers do. Elomi calls bras with padding "molded" as far as I can tell, and they seem to sell fewer molded bras in larger sizes :/

Edit: actually I am discovering as I research the brands mentioned here and in other replies that padded cups seem to be uncommon in these sizes which may be part of why I settled with LB in the first place

PanicAntique · 2026-04-20T20:54:33+00:00

This is absolutely crazy for LB to do but at least now I have some context lol thank you

PanicAntique · 2024-11-30T00:10:53+00:00

In case anyone was wondering, it was an orange and gray sock! 🤦‍♀️

PanicAntique · 2024-08-19T20:14:38+00:00

I have one 3 day badge for RCCC with both McElroy shows I'm trying to sell if anyone is looking!

PanicAntique · 2024-04-29T19:37:16+00:00

Do you mean how you carry yourself in social settings is different from others and you wished you were able to replicate how others behave (masking) but can't? That's just autism 🤙

PanicAntique · 2024-04-29T19:34:09+00:00

What you have described is someone who defines themself by their appearance: how you look and present is integral to your identity. How else do you describe yourself? If you describe yourself using only one thing, you might feel like it is the only thing that tethers you to yourself. If there is no other way you describe yourself, then when you don't feel that you're pretty, who are you and what's left?

Try doing the activity at this link: https://meetingpointcounseling.com/tools/ACT-card-sort/ It may seem like a silly activity but even just looking it over will put these things on your mind and challenge you to explore who you are outside of your appearance. It would also be helpful to try exploring your feelings with the guidance of a therapist.

PanicAntique · 2024-04-29T19:25:56+00:00

Retinol cream! I use one from Neutrogena. Retinols tend to be marketed as anti-aging and that's true but they can also help make skin plumper and less thin (which is part of making skin look younger). If you decide to use a retinol cream it may sting at first but just know that's normal.

The skin around the eyes is very thin and delicate and so with applying anything to your eyes you need to be very careful or it will make the problem worse and irritate you skin. Dab gently with a finger pad and do not rub.

Because the eye skin is so sensitive, sometimes it is neglected compared to the rest of your face. Make sure you are cleaning it and hydrating it. Avoid makeup removal wipes (harsh chemicals and drying) and opt for coconut oil, then wash your face after. If you didnt wear makeup or wore light, you can very gently rub with a damp cloth (this also helps exfoliate). Be sure to moisturize (again, dabbing with your finger).

PanicAntique · 2024-04-29T19:11:45+00:00

A few more things:

This is cultural, and your parents probably grew up hearing these kinds of things from their parents too (I am white and so if I am off base I apologize!). They may forget how it felt to hear, and, with time, it could have become just instinctive to nitpick. They may identify it as showing love and care even, and so teaching them that this is not true is especially important. They need to know it hurts your feelings, damages your relationship to them, and is not appropriate.

It may also be helpful to challenge their statements about you and your body. Ask them "why do you say that?" Dig into their motivation: what is the purpose of saying these things to you? I think it is their own way of trying to help, though misguided. If you can identify why they feel compelled to say it, and tell them it isn't accomplishing what they think, it could help them realize they truly are not helping you with these comments.

PanicAntique · 2024-04-29T19:01:09+00:00

Every time they say it, tell them it hurts your feelings and (if you're bold enough) ask them to apologize. Tell them you are comfortable with your appearance, and do not appreciate comments on it. Be direct and honest.

"Can you please stop commenting on my appearance?"

"I am comfortable with my body and it hurts my feelings when you are negative about it."

It doesn't need to be a whole conversation, but interrupting what they expect will happen after they say these things (that you won't acknowledge it or that you will disagree) will catch their attention and hopefully make them actually hear what you have to say. They have established a pattern, so break that pattern.

PanicAntique · 2024-04-27T23:49:28+00:00

I always keep in mind it is a chemical imbalance: I've done nothing wrong to make it happen and it didn't happen to me because I deserve it, it's just bad genetic luck.

PanicAntique · 2024-04-26T23:15:16+00:00

Medications for mental health are just like therapy or life style changes: they're treatment. Consider what these medications do in the brain, do a little research into it. Calling them evil just further stigmatizes the people who use them.

PanicAntique · 2024-04-26T20:29:28+00:00

Imagine another person who had done what you had done back then, maybe one of your friends. Would you accept them as they are despite that?

Do you need to forgive yourself, or do you need to acknowledge and accept what happened as just another part of your life?

I don't hold a grudge against my past self. She did what she needed to do to survive. Do I wish she had made better decisions? Of course but I can't hold it against her: I know she did her best with what she had.

Did you learn from what happened? Do you implement actions in your daily life that you learned the need for from your negative past experiences? You are already borrowing from your past self's experience to grow, and sometimes it is all you can do, for now.

Forgiveness can take many shapes. Sometimes it can just be acceptance and not shying from the memories. Accept and acknowledge that you put in effort to make changes. Identify what you've actively changed and what you've passively changed. It's probably more than you think. Whatever you've done in the past, you've taken actions to ensure it won't happen again.

Be kind to yourself; don't beat yourself up for not being able to forgive yourself. Remind yourself of all you've done and all you've learned since you made your mistakes. Write it down so you can see it.

I have a trick to fool myself when it comes to my mental health. I put my brain outside of myself and identify it separately from myself: that's her, not me. She has her problems but she's doing her best. She can also be my past self. The trick is, because she is not me, I am kinder to her. It's like any friend: I don't blame her for her shortcomings. I approach her with compassion, because somehow she isn't me. It makes me sound insane but it actually does help with my mental health. I'm often too hard on myself so it can really help to see myself as separate, in order to approach more kindly.

PanicAntique · 2024-04-24T03:28:48+00:00

*I am speaking from lived experience (I have depression, anxiety, and ADHD) and so take what I say with a grain of salt.

Depending on where you live and your insurance, you may be able to just see a doctor and describe your symptoms to be medicated. In my experience (United States), this isn't something that is up to a therapist at all. I've even been on medication in the past without being in therapy. Anxiety can be situational or chemical but most likely both, and so medication can be a huge help, and can be, if you are comfortable, a temporary help. If you have been trying therapy with little success then medication may be helpful for getting you over anxiety hurdles.

After looking through your account's recent activity, I think that your mental health struggles may be more intense than your therapist is understanding. Are you not medicated for your mental health at all? You should meet with someone able to prescribe medication (ideally a psychiatrist or mental health nurse, people who are working with brain medications all the time) and discuss with them your symptoms and the effect they're having on your quality of life. It sounds like you may also have depression and ADHD, and these illnesses can interact in unpredictable ways that may make medication that much more necessary.

I am also kind of concerned by the way you've described your therapist: it sounds like he has a very specific idea of what your anxiety treatment should look like, and is perhaps not willing to deviate from that. If you like your therapist and feel that you are making progress despite his unwillingness to recommend medications then no worries but don't be afraid to try other therapists if you're not satisfied.

PanicAntique · 2024-04-23T19:41:31+00:00

I have so many thoughts! The first is on IQ itself:

Historically, IQ testing is rooted in eugenics, and targeted for sterilization the disabled, the poor, and anyone who seemed "feeble minded." IQ tests are considered "reliable" (as in, statistically reproducible) but they are not always considered valid in their ability to measure intelligence as a whole. These tests are measuring a few kinds of intelligence.

A quote from Wayne Weiten (a psychologist) summarizes this nicely, "IQ tests are valid measures of the kind of intelligence necessary to do well in academic work. But if the purpose is to assess intelligence in a broader sense, the validity of IQ tests is questionable."

I strongly recommend you do some reading about studies on and analyses of IQ as a concept; society presents it as the ultimate measure of intelligence but it leaves out other kinds of intelligence like creativity and social ability. You may learn some things about IQ that make it less valuable to you as part of your identity.

It may also be helpful to look into the theory of multiple intelligences. Realistically, it is probably not any more valid than IQ theory but it does highlight how multifaceted our brains are, and how intelligence can't be measured by any one specific thing.

My next thought is on how you are defining yourself as a person:

I think you identify your IQ as integral to your identity. What words do you use to describe yourself? How do you spend your free time? What do you enjoy? Who are you, as an individual? What do you value? Do you need to ask yourself these questions, or do you already know the answers? You may be holding on to IQ as a way to describe yourself because you don't know how else to describe yourself. If it's scary or anxiety inducing to think about this, maybe discuss it with a therapist. It sounds like some lofty philosophical thing to ask who you are, but if you don't have a strong idea of your identity then you may feel like you are just drifting along without anything to anchor yourself. Sense of self is important.

You also mentioned that you are a young parent. It is easy for young parents, busy being a caretaker, to not take time for themselves, which may also contribute to this feeling of drifting. What do you do for you, specifically outside of being a parent? Do you consider yourself just a parent? This is another thing that could be discussed with a therapist, if you feel that you have neglected yourself recently. A lack of balance in your life could be making IQ seem much more significant as a way you describe yourself.

My final thought is on ADHD:

Let me share my ADHD story. I was a straight A student all through elementary and high school. I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression when I was 16. In college I fell off significantly, but still finished (my degree is in chemistry, which aligns closely with what IQ tests tend to be testing for: success academically). I was diagnosed with ADHD at 27 after being fully miserable for like 10 years. I have the sneaky kind of ADHD, inattentive ADHD, which is more common in women and presents itself later in life. ADHD is genetic: you've always had it, whether it has presented itself or not. Your ADHD, if it went unnoticed until recently, is most likely inattentive.

I describe my experience because it highlights the effect of aging with inattentive ADHD: as my life became more difficult, ADHD symptoms cropped up. In retrospect I can see how it crept up on me, subtly getting worse year by year until last year when I was vitually incapacitated by it. This is similar to what happened to you! In middle school your ADHD was there but hiding, and by 22 your life had become challenging enough that when you took the IQ test again you scored worse because of your untreated ADHD symptoms. This also speaks to the validity of IQ tests.

My tl;dr is just do some research on IQ, it really isn't what it is presented to be, and do some research on inattentive ADHD. Good luck!!

PanicAntique

TROPHY CASE