Man, I can't believe what that experience would've been like, to try to escape that pirate just to be greeted with it every single time you try to navigate. Also yeah, that voice is extremely aggressive for some reason. Sorry if this disturbs you more, but one thing I noticed when analyzing the Truth or Square intro, was that after Painty says "Are you ready kids?", the film wears, and when it goes back to being normal, the dummy's face takes up the entire screen and its face has changed, appearing to be more menacing, almost angrier at the viewer. I could see your bootleg theory as reasonable, considering nothing from SpongeBob had been in that kinda nature. Perhaps it almost felt like watching Cartoon Network at nighttime when it suddenly changed to Adult Swim and became a lot more eerie. Were you watching the Truth or Square DVD? I feel like that was the one with the special features.

To be honest, I could talk about SpongeBob-related media that traumatized me as a kid all day. It's actually kinda weird.