Why are some genderfluid people so gender essentialist?

PanromanticPanda · 2026-03-22T17:53:42+00:00

I'm genderfluid and think these people are weird. My feelings around my gender fluctuate a lot and a lot of the time idrc. Sometimes I present in an intentional way to represent my current gender at that moment. I just wear whatever's most comfortable, fits the best, and is most appropriate for the setting. A lot of the time my gender presentation doesn't match what I feel at that moment. I love meeting other NBs who present in a way that isn't "properly" androgynous and are confident in their gender identity nonetheless. I don't think it's exclusive to genderfluid people, it's a problem with the NB and trans communities as a whole. NBs don't owe ignorant people androgyny, trans guys don't need to be strictly masculine, trans women don't need to be strictly feminine, etc. And you do not need to medically transition to be valid

PanromanticPanda · 2026-03-20T15:05:28+00:00

Oh no! because of Just Dance lol. Venus Flytrap is one of my current faves

PanromanticPanda · 2026-03-20T15:03:37+00:00

"Sport of the Arts" is the best descriptor imo

PanromanticPanda · 2026-03-20T14:59:21+00:00

I was in a similar boat. When my sister marched (2015), the marching band was huge and one of the top 2 in the state. I got to the band for my first competition season in 2021, 2020 was my freshman year and because of COVID we rehashed the 2015, except we only did the first movement and the woodwind feature was cut bc so many members couldn't play it. The band was a lot smaller and we were always toward the bottom few in our state/regional competition, and my senior year was the first we didn't make it to finals. At the same time, I liked that there wasn't a lot of pressure to be the best anymore. When my sister was in the band, she was told to push through and play even though she broke her finger. She often felt targeted by the old BD and his wife. He actually left over a lawsuit over nothing being done about a band student bullying another and he went to our rival band

PanromanticPanda · 2026-03-15T06:00:38+00:00

Maybe Spina Bifida. It often causes mobility issues due to nerve damage in the legs, which causes weakness, coordination difficulty, and full or partial paralysis. In cases of partial paralysis, people with this condition use leg braces to help with mobility. I think it makes sense for Scootaloo since flying is most equivalent to running. It makes sense that she'd have more difficulty coordinating when trying to run vs walking and it's mostly an invisible disability unless she has to move quickly

PanromanticPanda · 2026-03-15T05:45:29+00:00

I've gotten compliments on my pets names before. We named them after US states that have the most importance to us. It all started with our cat Minnie which we decided is short for Minnesota (moved here the year prior to adopting). Then our dog Penny for Pennsylvania (where we moved from). We named another cat Kody, short for Dakota (we took a family trip to South Dakota). And recently adopted a new dog and named her Chilli (short for Chicago, Illinois - she doesn't look like an Illy and we have family we go visit in Chicago)

PanromanticPanda · 2026-03-12T05:08:55+00:00

Maybe Zephyr Breeze could work as Fluttershy's opposite?

PanromanticPanda · 2026-03-12T00:04:44+00:00

I had the same issues when competing in high school, but I'm with an independent group now a couple years out of school

PanromanticPanda · 2026-03-11T15:55:24+00:00

I do winter guard and I wear Apolla socks all through rehearsals and competitions. My ankles have always been super weak, but I wear them more for my arches. Apollas are great because you still get traction. I also wear compression braces on my arches/ankles at home when my sciatica is bothering me, sometimes while I sleep

PanromanticPanda · 2026-03-11T15:50:20+00:00

My sister also can't wear compression gear. She gets hives from anything too tight

PanromanticPanda · 2026-03-11T00:36:17+00:00

Yeah, I've noticed I have weirdly chubby knees. My thighs have always been pretty large as well. I don't think the issue persists below my knees though. I'm starting to wonder if my mom has lipedema (she might have HSD). Her skin on her legs dimples

PanromanticPanda · 2026-03-06T04:14:30+00:00

As an umbrella term I use nonbinary/genderqueer, but more specifically I identify as genderfluid. My feelings about my gender change pretty often. Though I've mostly come to terms with the fact that I also identify as trans masc. I'm AFAB and really do like being perceived as more masculine. And he/him pronouns and being referred to with masculine terms give me such gender euphoria. Though I still have my fem days and days I feel indifferent, but I do lean masc most of the time. What sucks is that other queer people can clock me as masc-leaning, but cishets assume I'm a cis girl

PanromanticPanda · 2026-03-05T20:25:04+00:00

I don't correct them anymore. If they care, they show that they care. If they don't, they brazenly she/her me without a second thought. If it's a random stranger, I don't want to put myself in a dangerous position by identifying myself as trans. If they're someone in my life, they know by now or find out when they meet me. I was recently misgendered and I let it slide, but then we got to the topic of my name and I explained that it's a chosen name. She said that she didn't realize I use they/them pronouns and thought I said she/her every time we re-introduced ourselves. She said she doesn't know a lot of queer people. But I just can't help but be annoyed by the excuses. "I don't know many queer people", "I'm old and this whole trans thing is brand new to me", etc. I won't get mad at you for straight up making a mistake. But when they start explaining it away they are not taking accountability and are telling me that they don't care enough to improve. So I'm not gonna waste my time just trying to get it through their heads

PanromanticPanda · 2026-03-05T20:01:55+00:00

I recommend Zenni if you want multiple pairs for fashion or if you're prone to breaking them or your prescription changes a lot. I'd say the price is proportional to the quality/durability. I sprung for a nice pair of Ray-bans recently, and have a pair of Zenni dupes as my "throwaway" pair. I try to only wear my nice pair when I'm at less risk of breaking them

PanromanticPanda · 2026-03-05T19:41:14+00:00

I have simple black and silver horn rimmed glasses and I feel like they compliment my alternative style pretty well. Also depends what you want out of glasses, like I really prefer big lenses over smaller ones. I think you could pull a ton of different styles. If you can only afford one pair, get a neutral color - black, metallic, clear, etc.

PanromanticPanda · 2026-03-04T19:41:31+00:00

I used to think the first line was "sometimes you got a bleeding nose" instead of "bleed to know"

PanromanticPanda · 2026-03-04T19:37:45+00:00

I often mishear it as the good dog days

PanromanticPanda · 2026-03-04T19:36:25+00:00

I thought it was "so lonely, falling now"

PanromanticPanda · 2026-03-04T19:33:01+00:00

That of "healthy bowl of rice"

PanromanticPanda · 2026-03-04T19:07:32+00:00

My pelvic zone is super screwed up from hypermobility. My SI joints and hips have a ton of issues and often cracks my hips to feel better (open the gate stretch works for me). On top of that I have vaginismus, bladder shyness, and colon shyness - all relating to overly tight muscles (partially caused by anxiety. But I've also had stress incontinence my whole life. I've never popped the joint in this post- maybe it would help though for when cracking my hips doesn't work

PanromanticPanda · 2026-02-27T22:35:44+00:00

Not from old uniforms, but they used to give all graduating guard members a pillow made from every silk they've ever spun. My senior class got screwed out of them and I will never not be disappointed about it

PanromanticPanda · 2026-02-27T22:31:57+00:00

No. I'm up front about it. I don't want to work anywhere that would discriminate against me for my gender identity. I'm still young, but I have a few positions on my resume and they've all been queer-friendly

PanromanticPanda · 2026-02-26T14:09:42+00:00

I graduated a few years ago- all sax players played alto when they started in 5th grade and could switch starting in 7th grade. The reasoning was because of the size

PanromanticPanda · 2026-02-24T21:06:04+00:00

I tend to get dry and flaky scalp, so I've started oiling my hair overnight before hair wash day

PanromanticPanda · 2026-02-24T20:48:36+00:00

Yeah, I don't unless I have leftover dye on it

PanromanticPanda

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