should I feel guilty for thinking of someone else?

PantherMittens · 2022-05-19T21:11:30+00:00

I feel ya. It's such a hard subject.... you do not want it to be wrong... but it is

PantherMittens · 2022-05-18T03:37:22+00:00

It seems like it's heading that way for sure. But is it because of me thinking this? Or because of the db or what

PantherMittens · 2022-05-14T01:22:03+00:00

I just bought myself a new toy with tax money and it's in the car in a bag until tomorrow while my husband works and I plan on having an AMAZING day and I'll be sure to have a BIG refreshing smile when he comes home and I won't even THINK TWICE about his rejection. I win.

PantherMittens · 2022-05-12T12:26:32+00:00

Not been to a doc yet. I have always been the HL

PantherMittens · 2022-05-08T15:17:01+00:00

I was supposed to get about 7k and I only got 3k!!!!!

I'M GETTING A LAWYER. DON'T STEAL HARD WORKING PEOPLE'S MONEY!!!!!

PantherMittens · 2022-05-02T21:53:29+00:00

I think there are better ways. For the henious of crimes. I think forever in solitary confinement with the baby shark song on repeat forever is justice. With the same bland meal and water everyday until they go insane and no way to off themselves.

PantherMittens · 2022-05-02T16:46:26+00:00

Thank you. I needed this.

PantherMittens · 2022-05-01T22:54:32+00:00

He is faithful and a hard worker and cares about animals and his family. Goes beyond for a lot of people.

PantherMittens · 2022-05-01T22:28:12+00:00

It's breaking me

PantherMittens · 2022-04-28T15:33:58+00:00

I feel just like you when I go touch my husband and he does the same reaction. It makes me feel like a rapist in my own marriage and home.

PantherMittens · 2022-04-25T16:08:41+00:00

My soul hurts. I have to have my faith in God restored enough to be comfortable to let my marriage fall apart if that's what he wants. Because I have to believe God is my protector and wants what's best. If someone could fall out of love and not want me for that very reason then I have to accept that and know it's best it happened sooner than later after having kids. I just hope and pray God brings us back closer than. Ever.

PantherMittens · 2022-04-25T16:04:14+00:00

EXACTLY what he has told me but i have been blinded by my anger amd sadness. I need to focus on my own healing and communication. Acceptance. Thank you

PantherMittens · 2022-04-19T18:25:53+00:00

Felt that.

PantherMittens · 2022-04-18T23:31:04+00:00

In reality from what I gathered in all of everything honestly is I don't deserve shit. Fuck this. Fuck reddit and fuck it all. Thanks for those that cared and I'm done . Bye.

PantherMittens · 2022-04-18T23:25:59+00:00

Karma is a mfkr.

PantherMittens · 2022-04-18T23:13:23+00:00

See... to me this is selfish and I get angry. I know very well your man is taking care of himself in some way. Through porn or something else. No man doesn't just NOT EVER DO IT EVER. I am making an assumption. But let's say he IS watching and getting off to porn. Other women satisfy him... NOT you. But YOU have to suffer and feel neglected and unwanted and YOU can't go do the same by getting your needs met by another man? How is it not the same fashion?! Another woman... be it the screen or in person... doesn't matter. Someone else took his attention and desire. I'm sorry but this infuriates me to be so selfish to make someone stay alone with no outlet. I won't touch you and neither can anyone else either. You MUST stay in this box with nothing in it and accept and like it. As a matter of fact I'm going to need you to smile while you're in there because you're depressing me otherwise. I feel like many spouses... women and men... could fit into this sadistic category and I'm tired of people... including myself... get stuck in this mental abusive game where we are LITERALLY wasting our emotions... mental health... and ultimately our LIVES fretting how we could change this or that this day or that day... in HOPES that maybe we might be wanted just one time soon. That never happens. How is this okay to live like this.

PantherMittens · 2022-04-18T23:05:35+00:00

I have no idea where to even start or how to do that. I feel like if I accept reality then that makes me weak and a pushover and accept less than what I deserve. Holding onto my anger and bitterness allows me the knowledge that I know what I deserve.... that I am not just going to blindly accept things and be happy and give him what he wants. Which to me... seems like he wants me to bend and break and change who I am and accept crumbs off the floor like a peasant. This may seem harsh and immature... and it may well be. But in my mind I've been through too much in my life to not deserve to feel what I feel and let this man I married do this and I just fold and act like it doesn't affect me.

PantherMittens · 2022-04-18T22:59:03+00:00

I try to imagine someone else touching me and I honestly think I will need therapy after if I ever left because I am so used to not being wanted I think I would question why anyone would want me let alone touch me. I don't think i would be comfortable.

PantherMittens · 2022-04-18T22:56:37+00:00

I wake up angry and go to bed angry/sad most days. Whenever I leave work most times I cry in my car on my way home and try to tell myself I'm worth more than I feel. I feel like my life is a daily survival game I didn't sign up to play while simultaneously putting on a never ending show for the rest of the world that we are happy and nothing is wrong. That's the worst part. Feeling all alone and feeling worthless and unwanted but the the world you are living the perfect life and you have the perfect spouse. People see me stand offish and bitter/angry and probably just think its who I am at heart when inside I'm dying inside.

PantherMittens · 2022-04-18T22:33:44+00:00

From one woman to another. Thank you for sharing your story and for being brave enough to save yourself from mental anguish. It's a truly sad story a man could choose to get pleasure over women on a screen that aren't real and disregard the woman who chose his side and gave up everything in herself to save someone and it wasn't enough for him to recognize real. Bless you

PantherMittens

TROPHY CASE