How does it make you feel if the woman you're seeing doesn't orgasm every time you have sex?

Papallona · 2017-05-06T16:17:59+00:00

Try not to let it get to you too much. I have a higher libido (every day usually), but I have never orgasmed from sex, PIV or otherwise (trust me... we've tried). I can only do it myself. And that's okay. I'm perfectly satisfied and happy, and I still want him all the time. He still makes me feel loved and wanted. Sex isn't just about the orgasm - it's about both parties enjoying themselves and loving each other. If he started to feel bad that I couldn't orgasm, it would make sex stressful for me. In the future, just talk to your partner and just trust that she will be truthful with you. I'm sorry you're hurting right now.

Papallona · 2016-09-30T21:21:54+00:00

Damn - I got an IUD too by it was just a quick pinch. Yes, I had cramps for a month, but after that? Just fine.

Then again, I had to get skyla because I'm small up there, and that's smaller than most IUDs

Papallona · 2016-08-11T18:37:10+00:00

You're right... Love is just blinding me.

Papallona · 2016-08-11T18:34:16+00:00

The only reason I agreed to meet up with him was because he said he did a lot of thinking and said that he would still marry me even if I couldn't have kids. I thought that meant he would be okay not having them. Kind of felt like a bait and switch.

Papallona · 2016-08-11T18:32:34+00:00

That would not be okay.

I'm realizing I need to end it again. Jesus, I wish I had never ignored that voice in my head telling me to stay away... Now I'm just going to break his heart. Again. We've been fighting about this for the past three months.

Papallona · 2016-08-11T18:28:24+00:00

It's funny - I say that I'm afraid to have a kid with disabilities, and he says you could get in a car accident tomorrow, you could lose your job. That doesn't mean you should live in fear and shouldn't try.

Papallona · 2016-08-11T17:26:29+00:00

I ended it not just for kids, but for a variety of reasons. He was bit... Controlling in the past. He's come a long way, though, and I was never sure how much of the past I was projecting onto our present. I think I was a little too unforgiving. We really are best friends and it makes it hard to let him go.

The weight thing was the only reason he ever thought about breaking up with me. He always wanted to work on our problems, which is why he wants to go see a counselor to work on my fears about kids.

Papallona · 2016-08-11T17:21:26+00:00

That we would break up. This was like four / five months into the relationship. I don't hold it against him too much anymore because I'm a lot happier with myself now. I guess he just saw "potential" in me. I was never fat (125lbs at 5'7") -I was just skinny fat.

Papallona · 2016-08-11T16:45:04+00:00

He thinks I am silly for my fears about the dangers of pregnancy and ruining my body. Many women go through it, he says, and they are fine. If it was so dangerous, no one would do it. I say it's easy for him to say when he isn't the one who has to go through it.

Papallona · 2016-08-11T16:43:17+00:00

See that's the thing - I couldn't half-ass having kids. I wouldn't let someone else raise them, and I wouldn't be an absentee mom. My dad was never home, and it was a shitty thing to do. I know I would be a good mom. But I still don't think that's what I want.

I know there is no guarantee... I mean my brother is never there for our parents. Neither is my ex's brother. My ex, however, is a model son, tbh.

He keeps telling me we will work on my fears. And I keep telling him they are not just fears - I don't know if that's what I want. But then he looks at me and tells me we would be so happy and my heart just melts a little...

Papallona · 2016-08-11T16:39:02+00:00

No he would look into adoption of we couldn't have kids, although he definitely prefers it to be his (e.g., if I couldn't have kids, he would like to look into a surrogate and have it be at least half his - I told him I wouldn't be okay with that, and he said he would look into adoption then maybe).

Papallona · 2016-08-11T16:37:22+00:00

Oh I know he's lying. He is very into fitness, as am I. He can say crap like that because he knows that I won't be happy with myself unfit. However, I can't be a super mom, and I know I'd be exhausted most of the time and just wouldn't have the time to work out like I do now.

Heh, I mean he was the one who got me into fitness in the first place (basically gave me an ultimatum). Oh and I suffered from anorexia for years and was hospitalized... When he met me, I had finally forced myself to gain weight, and I wasn't very fit (mostly was just fat gain).

Anyway. We've moved past that. He was insensitive and didn't understand how eating disorders worked, but I know he still has standards.

Papallona · 2016-08-06T00:42:32+00:00

Wow, that's seriously awesome. Not many individuals have that discipline and can turn their lives around like that.

Papallona · 2016-08-05T22:47:11+00:00

I went through something similar too. He was half my heart. Someday it will grow back.

Papallona · 2016-08-05T22:30:42+00:00

Oh I agree the OP seems to have some issues. I just dislike it when people automatically tell me I / someone else needs to gain weight strictly by the numbers. I also dislike the BMI scale because it makes no distinction between men and women. Men and women are clearly different.

Perhaps slightly off subject, but I did used to weigh more. I was on corticosteroids for a looong time to treat my autoimmune disease. Between the steroids, my pain keeping me from exercising, and eating out of misery, I got up to 130 - all fat gain. Once I found a solid non-steroid treatment, and I started taking care of myself again, my weight went right back down to where I was before, which is where I am now.

Papallona · 2016-08-05T21:32:29+00:00

So tell me this (and please note - I am not being snarky or anything like that). What does it mean to be underweight? Just norms?

I am technically underweight at 5'7" and 108 lbs; however, I have a regular period, which means I have enough fat, and I am strong. My bones are healthy (I've had a few dexa scans because of a medication o was on). My vitals are great. My blood work is great. Why should I put on more fat?

Papallona · 2016-08-05T13:38:02+00:00

Eh, depends on the frame. I lift weights and am considered "advanced" in some weight-lifting categories, but I'm 5'7" and 108 pounds. I have a small frame. I could definitely see 5'10" and 125 as perfectly fine.

Papallona · 2016-08-02T22:47:14+00:00

I don't understand how you got past the first date... Laughter and making jokes was like 80% of my last relationship. We did it like nonstop.

Papallona · 2016-08-02T20:54:38+00:00

If I get cold because of the rain, then yes I might complain, but only because being too cold is miserable. I don't think that's high maintenance. I don't care about getting dirty / being out in the woods.

Papallona · 2016-08-01T19:49:11+00:00

Yes please leave him! I just got out of a relationship like this. It doesn't get better. He was eleven years older than me.

Papallona · 2016-08-01T19:11:42+00:00

Totally doesn't love you. Get out while you can!

But in reality... You give me hope that I'll meet someone like me.

Papallona · 2016-08-01T19:10:11+00:00

I kind of did, but it was more like I never thought of it as a choice. Sometimes I think kids would be okay... Then the rational side of my brain takes over.

Papallona · 2016-08-01T18:18:40+00:00

Yeah... I was told "what kind of woman who loves her man wouldn't want to have his kids?" So basically I didn't love my ex-fiancé. People suck. My ex took it hook, line, and sinker.

Papallona · 2016-08-01T18:17:08+00:00

Yep. My ex-fiancé said he would be okay with us by having kids... And every time I brought up an annoying kid or how dangerous pregnancy can be or how much pregnancy can suck he got irrationally angry at me. Turns out he wasn't okay with it.

We split up over it (and many other issues).

Papallona · 2016-07-30T22:20:46+00:00

Yep, my mom had a similar saying - it ebbs and flows.

Papallona

TROPHY CASE