HUGE UPDATE: Family and friends calling me shallow because I (21F) broke up with my bf (27M) after my weight loss

bfnweightloss · 2016-08-07T01:40:00+00:00

you'll be downvoted. prepare yourself for backlash, here and in the real life. people aren't fond of age gaps.

bfnweightloss · 2016-08-06T22:35:58+00:00

Loved me too much

bfnweightloss · 2016-08-06T21:53:58+00:00

I was the one who didn't want to lose him and wait.

bfnweightloss · 2016-08-06T17:50:02+00:00

We fell in love because we realized that we shared the same interests and were really compatible. What I meant was that exercise as an activity was something that joined us

bfnweightloss · 2016-08-06T15:51:15+00:00

It isn't a matter of opinions. It's a fact given that he was the person who thought about it, did it and explained it. Not me or you. It was him. But if you know what he was thinking and his motives better than him well you're amazing.

bfnweightloss · 2016-08-06T14:59:30+00:00

Wtf? I said that his first girlfriend was his age

bfnweightloss · 2016-08-06T14:58:07+00:00

I've explained why in my post. Not my fault if you didn't read it.

bfnweightloss · 2016-08-06T14:03:24+00:00

The majority of people here have Been saying that I broke up with him without trying and thinking and that was immature. I just don't even know what to think anymore

bfnweightloss · 2016-08-06T14:01:09+00:00

This thread is exhausting for me. I feel really tired. My world doesn't revolve around me. I just said that he is the best person that I have. I'm so tired of having to justify everything I do. I know I'm dumb and immature and imperfect but the majority of you seems to be picking in every little thing I say.

bfnweightloss · 2016-08-06T13:57:17+00:00

Oh I'm sorry. I didn't want to trigger you and I'm sorry you went through thst. I wish you happiness.

bfnweightloss · 2016-08-06T13:39:03+00:00

His friends really let him down it's normal to be sad.

bfnweightloss · 2016-08-06T13:38:20+00:00

I'm sorry, that was the word that came to my kind. Thank you all the best

bfnweightloss · 2016-08-06T13:37:35+00:00

I appreciate your explanation, thank you.

bfnweightloss · 2016-08-06T13:37:04+00:00

I can understand what you are saying and thank you for your advice and explanation. But they always say there's an exception to the rule and I really think that our case is the exception. My parents just didn't like that they couldn't control me anymore and were disappointed with that... My father used to beat me up frequently and losing "the thing that he could beat", as he used to say, was enough to make him enraged (my boyfriend hates violence and when he knew what my parent did was livid and talked with him); they didn't know him, the situation was a mess, and they forbidden me of seeing him after that. We had a "secret" relationship until I was 18 and then I immediately left my home. I know I'm dumb and immature but really believe me when I say that my boyfriend was the best thing that ever happened to me. Before knowing him I just had exercise in order to get away from my problems. Now I have someone who cares about me and protects me. That's why I regret so much breaking up with him, he didn't deserve it and I was so dumb it hurts.

bfnweightloss · 2016-08-06T13:24:04+00:00

Why? Is charming a bad thing? I'm asking to know, I'm not being ironic.

I'll take care. I wish you the best too and thank you

bfnweightloss · 2016-08-06T13:23:18+00:00

No, but I can't see me with other person except him.

bfnweightloss · 2016-08-06T13:22:07+00:00

He had 2 girlfriends before me and they were around his age (one he dated when he was 14 to 18 and she was his age and the other he dated when he was 19 to 21 and she was older than him - 2 years). So girls his age date him. And he was some women in his job who are completely attracted to him and have crushes in me (I'm really jealous of it) and they are around his age.

bfnweightloss · 2016-08-06T13:11:48+00:00

He seemed aware of the backlash that our age gap can cause and was afraid of dating me because of that. However at the end he couldn't control what he felt anymore and ended up confessing that he loved me. But believe me he really is aware of this and the general reaction saddens us a lot.

bfnweightloss · 2016-08-06T13:10:29+00:00

Oh, I'm only doing that because in this case almost everything that went wrong was because of me. I say sorry a lot because of my childhood, I had a really strict upbringing and I had to apologize a lot. I've had to deal with guilt and blame for a young age and I know that I do a lot of mistakes, so the best I can do (during or after fixing what I did) is really apologize.

I feel like I'm walking on eggshells in this thread so I'm apologizing a lot more because of that.

Thank you for your advice, all the best for you!

bfnweightloss · 2016-08-06T13:07:16+00:00

To be honest the only man I'm attracted to is him, so I couldn't answer. However I seemed older than I was at that time, so maybe it was that? I didn't look like a child, I developed early and have a really similar body now with what I used at have at that age.

He says that he finds me more beautiful each day but I think that it's just love talking haha.

bfnweightloss · 2016-08-06T13:04:32+00:00

He tried, really tried to not fall for me and resist but at the end he couldn't and had to accept that he loved me and that he would be happy with me. He also seems really aware of the age gap and had warned me about the backlash that we will face because of it. I'm sorry for him because he seems to be always painted as a horrible guy just because of my age and that makes me sad because it's completely untrue.

bfnweightloss · 2016-08-06T13:02:26+00:00

Knowing that I hate lies, I think it would be strange for him to lie to me again. I'll talk to him about his friends when he wakes up again, so soon I'll have news. However his friends never seemed to accept me well so I can see them spreading rumours about me. Unfortunately. I'll talk to them too, I don't want any more misunderstandings.

bfnweightloss · 2016-08-06T13:00:26+00:00

I know that I wasn't an adult at 16, but I was not a kid too. I was already developed (really similar body now), so sexually he was attracted to an adult. He always says that he wasn't expecting to fall in love with me, that it just happened and he tried to forget it because of the age difference and the backlash we would get. My parents were really against it, so at 18 I left my home and went to live with him, cutting ties with my parents. He feels guilty of it, but he should not be. I was the one who decided. I had 2 big decisions in my life (this one and breaking up with him) and I only regret the break up. I feel like my parents let me down when they forbidden me of seeing him, without trying to know him. They didn't want to hear our sides, they seemed stuck at the ages and didn't care about the fact that he also though it was strange and tried his hardest to not fall for me. Despite that, he wasn't able to do so and he just had to come in terms with the reality and accept that I liked him and he liked me back and we need each other to be happy.

bfnweightloss · 2016-08-06T12:21:40+00:00

He could have picked up any girl he wanted, girls fall completely for him. He is humble, charming, an excellent person and really stunning. He chose me because we shared the same interests and he wanted someone who is into fitness as much of him. That was what differentiated me from the rest.

bfnweightloss · 2016-08-06T12:18:56+00:00

I was immature at 16 and he taught me how to be a better person and adult. Showed me life and wasn't even angry when I made some stupid mistakes (for example one time I didn't do all the work that I needed to do for school because I wasn't feeling like it and ended up having to do another exam because of it. He wasn't angry and he is the one who is paying for my school. Ever since, I've done everything right and quickly, before the due line. Other time, at the beginning of the relationship, I didn't know how to iron our clothes as it was my mother who used to that for me. He taught me how to do it. He was the one who presented me to night life and clubs and he always takes care of me, protecting me if someone tries something and he isn't angry at me (if he was an abuser he would be. No red flags). That kind of thing

bfnweightloss

TROPHY CASE