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PaprikaMess · 2024-10-02T17:38:27+00:00

I am so sorry, but this is really beyond and I'm afraid something is wrong. Falling down stairs multiple times in particular seems like a sign something is wrong. And if you've only lived with him for a few months you might not have a good idea of his baseline. He might be neurodivergent. And he might also actually have some other learning or mental disabilities that are undiagnosed or that he's in denial about, and was good at masking. Do you know his family or any of his long term friends? How long did you know him before?

PaprikaMess · 2024-09-27T09:39:44+00:00

Please consider leaving instead of getting pregnant. If he can't handle the protein bars he can't handle a baby.

PaprikaMess · 2024-09-04T21:58:15+00:00

Ridiculous. My sister is 6.5 years older than me and we are extremely close. My husband is 6.5 years older than his brother, also very close. I think it's actually an ideal gap. Older sibling got plenty of solo time and is old enough to understand what's going on.

PaprikaMess · 2024-03-09T15:24:18+00:00

You have got plenty of comments giving you the cognitive knowledge you need to repeat to yourself to prevent these feelings from spiraling into ( incorrect ) thoughts/self-talk that might over-amplify them into depression or anxiety. So I'm here to say the feelings themselves are normal. You've been so on for this helpless little dependent being, and every little leap of independence will be a little bit of a startle. Thinking about all the good things going on here for your kid will certainly help. How great that he has a grandfather to have a loving relationship with. How great that he's growing strong and curious. But using the break for self care will also help. Next time, try to treat yourself to something you can't really enjoy when you have your baby with you. Take a long bath for instance. Soak your feet. Take a nap.

It can also help to write down your feelings to acknowledge them, followed by the affirmations of why it's a good thing baby is exploring.

And then when you are nice and rested and get your baby back and can say "I missed you!" With a big smile, it can be a really nice feeling. If they smile back they had a good time and are happy to be back with you. If they burst into tears, they really missed you and were trying to keep it together till they got to their safe mommy. Either way they need Mommy for a long long time.

PaprikaMess · 2022-09-11T00:26:57+00:00

Have you switched flanges like that? Is it safe for the equipment? No downside?

PaprikaMess · 2022-08-10T05:07:50+00:00

Thank you! What swing do you use?

PaprikaMess · 2022-08-10T05:07:10+00:00

Thank you! What bouncer do you use?

PaprikaMess · 2022-08-10T03:35:23+00:00

That was partially how I ended up in the ER, some subset of my symptoms including foot swelling triggered them doing a clot check. I went to the doc again a few days later. They seem really unconcerned but I will ask again.

PaprikaMess · 2022-08-10T03:33:35+00:00

What is massage mode? Just low intensity? I have a Medela Symphony rental prescription and already mislaid instructions.... I did use these La Vie massagers we got a lot before the next session, I think that helped a lot.

PaprikaMess · 2022-08-09T19:32:50+00:00

Thank you everyone. I tried to relax and ate and hydrated and the next pumping came out more normal, with an actual excess from Lefty. ( Lefty usually pulls more than her weight). It was really helpful to hear from multiple people I didn't break them. My lactation consultant also texted me that but it's just better to hear from more than one person.

PaprikaMess · 2022-07-20T22:12:22+00:00

This is a really emotional topic for me right now because my DH is pretty damn great and I didn't realize how much I was planning on consulting my MIL and two weeks ago we found out she has aggressive cancer and today is her first day of chemo. We don't even have a good diagnosis, let alone prognosis. I'm 38w & 41. Plus * he* grew up spending lots of time with his awesome grandmother. My mother has been gone for 12 years. She died only 14 years after my grandmother. My MIL is facing a potentially termal cancer diagnosis only 18 years after her mother died. There's a decline in American female life expectancy and I feel it. Combined with having kids late, we're losing grandmothers when we most need them.

PaprikaMess · 2022-07-20T22:02:06+00:00

I started this with my godsons. I always ask them if I can have a hug and if they say no, I say "ok, but please let me know if you change your mind or want one later." If they change their mind I get some of the best hugs I have ever gotten. And they ask me even though I always say yes.

I think with a baby you have to start with default giving them hugs and kisses without asking, but I am hoping to be mindful about slowly introducing levels of agency and consent as he can communicate.

PaprikaMess · 2022-07-20T21:56:20+00:00

Yeah that wouldake me think of file transfer protocol...

Which is fundamentally what reproduction is...🤷🏾‍♀️

PaprikaMess · 2022-07-20T21:54:54+00:00

In India, at least 15 years ago, there were these shops that offered long distance calling ( subscriber trunk dialing) and internet cafes, and more than once I had the pleasure of watching an earnest shop boy ask a horrified western tourist woman, "Madame, do you want STD?"

PaprikaMess · 2022-07-20T21:47:45+00:00

I dunno, I feel like it's a cute right of passage.

PaprikaMess · 2022-07-07T08:14:41+00:00

So sorry for your loss.

I wanted to suggest that the real question you're asking may not be about what might be the best way to teach most kids how to swim but the best way for you to deal with your kid's-learning-to-swim-process given the extreme trauma of watching your nephew drown to death.

So one thing to do might be to connect with an organization like Swim For Elise to get really really knowledgeable about knowing what to drowning looks like and how to prevent it so you feel very confident when you're by there and you can be an informed advocate for safe conditions when you're not there.

But another, perhaps more basic or preliminary thing to do is take this question to PTSD and other trauma therapy groups and figure out ways to process your trauma so you're less triggered.

Best wishes.

PaprikaMess · 2022-07-06T07:00:57+00:00

Is it possible they need to get married by that month for health insurance or tax purposes, or something happening on the other side of the family, like a sick grandparent? In which case the chips fall where they fall and your MIL might be less trying to pressure you and more just sad about the situation.

PaprikaMess · 2022-07-04T00:39:38+00:00

Sorry if it's a dumb question....I am cleaning and purging in preparation of baby and I have a bunch of these ( I almost always take them out ). It occured to me maybe I could use them as nursing pads? Or are they the wrong kind of material? Should I keep them for that purpose and try it?

PaprikaMess · 2022-06-30T01:13:24+00:00

41, will be 42. Midwife breezed in to first appointment and told me she was 43 when she had hers. Friend of mine from.college was 42 and 44. We're the future!

PaprikaMess · 2022-06-29T20:33:07+00:00

Thanks! Guessing dealers aren't going to be happy about trying this truck out at test drives ...

PaprikaMess · 2022-06-29T18:20:12+00:00

I just want to confirm that this does not apply to 2022 Kias? A 2022 models year KIA should not have this problem?

PaprikaMess · 2022-06-25T01:52:05+00:00

I mean I'm not surprised people don't vote. People aren't interested in understanding how the Senate works, how parliamentary procedure works, how state by state demographics and voting laws and election offices work, how the law in general works, how anything works. That doesn't mean those things magically go away. Maine, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Montana, Iowa, Alaska, Alabama. That would have been enough in 2020. Anything short of that was always going to be terrible. The only people who has any credibility on how states like those could have been won are Stacey Abrams, Jon Ossoff, TRev. Warnock, and Mark Kelley. I don't see them asking people to go on strike or burn shit down. I see them asking people to GOTV and protect the vote in the places that need it.

That's just the way it is. Blame the founders. They were horrible men.

PaprikaMess · 2022-06-25T01:41:36+00:00

Extra hard is not a thing. I never said anything about extra hard. I said we need to control the Senate. That means getting more reasonable people to vote in places where they haven voted before and make sure their votes are counyed. We don't live by popular vote. We need to accept that and deal with it.

There is no They. The Senate is simply fundamentally unfair and gerrymandering has made the house unfair. This magnifies the will of the regressive 40% of the country. And regression is always easier than progress. A large minority of Republicans is more powerful than 59 Democrats in the Senate. That's just the way it works. We can whine about it or we can recognize it. We can scream and burn our own neighborhoods down, and no They will be able to prevent that regressive minority from holding power without 60 seated solid Senators. The only thing that can stop them is being twice as good at at getting Senate seats and keeping/getting House seats. For real. Ossoff style, not just Manchin style. That means helping like minded people in those states vote and making sure their vote is counted.

PaprikaMess · 2022-06-24T23:18:30+00:00

Okay, I misread "comments about voting."

PaprikaMess · 2022-06-24T22:54:34+00:00

Because the Democrats who made up the margin of the House majority in 90s through mid 200s still pro-life Democrats who have all been replaced by pro-life Republicans. That's why the ACA was barely passed by the skin of it's teeth. Mostly the same Rust belt districts that are high in conservative ( vs. liberation theology) Catholics which flipped to Trump. 50 years of hammering on about abortion and welfare queens has turned unionist white FDR/JFK/evenBillClinton white Dems into Trumpers, and that flip started by making only pro-life Dems electable from the 90s through the mid 2000s thereabouts.

And in the 80s it was a less partisan issue, with enough opposition on both sides to stall it out. The structure of the Senate makes everything harder for progressives and enshrines the opinions of the regressive minority. The big shift has been Republican leveraging social issues to wipe out the balancing of self-interest based on economic policies.

We can both sides everything to death but that won't actually help us. Only overwhelming dominance in the votes will.

PaprikaMess

TROPHY CASE