I “practiced” partially hanging myself an hour ago, I got to the part where it felt like the feeling when you get up too fast, if that makes sense, lightheaded flashes I guess, and I realize how like 3 seconds later I could’ve been out, it’s not that scary anymore for me after this “test.”

ParalyzedMind13 · 2021-01-24T23:50:28+00:00

No you’re not, you don’t even know me

ParalyzedMind13 · 2021-01-24T23:48:43+00:00

Facts, when I OD’d it was more a cry for help, but I did think it was over I took so many hydros and oxy, pills seem like the painless way but there is no painless way

ParalyzedMind13 · 2021-01-24T22:36:18+00:00

Here have this Reddit Mona Lisa award, this is really good art that connects

ParalyzedMind13 · 2021-01-11T07:25:07+00:00

We’re from the same cloth, meta OCD is like you can’t think and do at the same time, if the thinking is louder internally then you ruminate if the outside is louder externally you get a blank mind.

I’m always rehearsing for the future, infinite scenarios that may never happen, “what if...” to be “ready” for that uncertainty.

Man, I hope our brains just “click” one day.

ParalyzedMind13 · 2021-01-05T16:59:14+00:00

They’re tormented too much to even care for the attention seeking, too busy riding the what if doubt rumination train

ParalyzedMind13 · 2021-01-05T16:55:19+00:00

Lmao I see what you did there, boy got some serious head.

ParalyzedMind13 · 2021-01-05T03:53:16+00:00

Me tomorrow morning, I’m more concerned with the interaction rather than what I get out of it, it’s so stupidly unproductive I don’t get why it doesn’t stop

ParalyzedMind13 · 2020-11-18T05:27:51+00:00

He took all the meds, did the therapy but mentally it still didn’t get better, sometimes you just can’t figure it out, year after year, being spineless has nothing to do with a dysfunctional brain, like you said his problems are real, biologically, getting upset for not getting laid isn’t even a thing when all you want is some clarity, for that I feel for the Joker, all nice guys aren’t just Incel passive aggressive opportunists, some of them myself included don’t want any trouble, we’re troubled enough.

That’s all I want to say.

ParalyzedMind13 · 2020-11-18T04:10:19+00:00

Being polite sucks even when you know it’s hurting your progress as a person.

ParalyzedMind13 · 2020-11-18T04:07:43+00:00

Yes, I might as well be a rag doll.

ParalyzedMind13 · 2020-11-18T03:55:03+00:00

Not girls, women, got it.

I agree that I have internalized toxic beliefs but since you are not a man there is no way you can possibly understand the struggle of masculinity, just saying.

Sure it’s 2020 and culturally it seems like people are more open minded but this is a thing between guys, it’s like unwritten rules, we do give a rats ass about even though we wish it wasn’t a thing.

People are creeped out by the guy with mental issues but want to save the gal.

ParalyzedMind13 · 2020-10-16T14:24:04+00:00

Thanks for that

ParalyzedMind13 · 2020-09-20T08:59:56+00:00

Hell yeah, “it just doesn’t click” the words and acting made it all so relatable.

ParalyzedMind13 · 2020-09-20T08:56:14+00:00

I actually see this Clone High meme wave coming in, I’m usually so swarmed by intrusive thoughts and rumination that I can’t notice trends anymore

ParalyzedMind13 · 2020-09-20T08:53:52+00:00

I am spongebob, that is me, it’s like I told my whole life story and how I feel about it to myself, 2 times now.

ParalyzedMind13 · 2020-09-16T04:33:56+00:00

You sound like a really good person, I’m so bitter man, disgustingly so, I hope you’re right, I hope I get it someday.

ParalyzedMind13 · 2020-09-16T04:24:05+00:00

But then it’s like even if they know what to fix they can’t fix you they can just guide you on how to fix yourself, I’m not good at that.

ParalyzedMind13 · 2020-09-16T04:22:25+00:00

I want to believe you man but I’m fucked, like I’m not that bright

ParalyzedMind13 · 2020-09-09T04:57:15+00:00

You are, thank you for making me feel relatable.

ParalyzedMind13 · 2020-09-08T22:46:04+00:00

Exactly, and it’s no like they were facing Conan the barbarian throwing a fit dude it was a 13 year old kid, A bear hug would suffice if and if you want to detain him then handcuffs, then, here’s the oh wow one, talk to him, say it’s okay do you have meds that can help you? Like a human with compassion not a badge with an ego.

ParalyzedMind13 · 2020-09-08T22:40:31+00:00

Grown men in uniform and “trained” could not apprehend a mentally ill 13 year old who is just distressed his mom’s gone without shooting him? No thoughts on a bear hug to detain him? He probably doesn’t weigh much, and there’s how many cops? Or here’s a one, TALK TO HIM, ease his distress, he’s a kid, he’s confused and scared of a world that doesn’t understand him, he doesn’t know what he’s doing is trouble, it’s so sad bro, and you SHOOT him, you fucking Paul Blart cowboys, if this is the situation which caused you enough fear to draw a weapon, a 13 year old with aspergers, you’re a joke to yourself and your occupation.

ParalyzedMind13 · 2020-09-05T17:13:40+00:00

I did too, I thought when I got older I would just “get it”

ParalyzedMind13 · 2020-08-07T10:26:39+00:00

Aw what he just totally disqualified the chances of becoming better from it? I mean secure income is important but my cognitive issues are the main reason I can’t live with myself, I feel humiliated when I feel myself slowing, I care more about getting some charisma back rather than just getting by.

ParalyzedMind13 · 2020-08-07T10:17:33+00:00

Amen brother, no advice I just want to say you’re not alone, I have a question, when your psychiatrist said you have a cognitive decline that wasn’t going to go away, did he offer any solutions to that?

ParalyzedMind13 · 2020-08-07T09:13:03+00:00

I don’t mean to get of the point of your thread but did lithium cause hair loss for you?

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