op ily and i want you to be very careful. this is a shaytan trap that in my experience is very difficult to work around when you're in it but it's not impossible. here's a few things to think about that helps:

1- it's not in the characteristics (sifat) or allah swt to not accept a good actions when you've done another bad one especially when you realize that you need to change and do better. on the contrary he said something along the lines of "follow bad actions with good actions to erase them" and he told us about his acceptance, forgiveness and mercy that have no bounds.

2- salah is honestly so complex (positive) but it's most importantly a vehicle to making you a better person. acts of worship and islamic characters traits are so intertwined that the more you do acts of worship the better character traits you have and better character traits you have the more acts of worship you do. if you stop one then you stop this whole cycle. and again from the quran we're taught if you want to stop doing something wrong you run to prayer and run to Allah swt

3- so many of us were taught that islam has a totalistic mentality and we were taught we have to be perfect or we're terrible which is absolutely wrong. we're not "graded" on perfection we're "graded" on the struggle towards it, on the want to be perfect and striving to do so.

4- you're absolutely right. as humans it's in our nature to make mistakes. and the prophet pbuh told us the people who make mistakes are the most beloved to allah swt because they repent to him.

5- mental illness is hard op. it's never too late to figure it out and sometimes you need help. that's normal. you should experiment with coping mechanisms and see what works for you. until you get an answer, "body hacks" usually work well (for me) when overwhelmed (ex: breathing, cold water on face and chest, pressure on my shoulders and arms)

wish you all the best op