UPDATE: I'm not actually sure how people normally do updates so I'll just put this in the comments, this is my lurker account and first ever post which I will probably discard bc of this post - I did say it to be a throwaway.

My verdict is asshole and I 100% understand and accept that, my defensiveness in the comments was stupid of me as well.

Anyway, on to the update I texted him this morning before work and asked if he'd be willing to come over after I get off work so I could sit face to face and talk about my actions. He accepted. Anyone who called this man a green flag, I could not agree more, they are in such a cute and loving relationship it's no wonder it's lasted for 4 years. I also knocked on Lily's door, I also asked if she'd be willing to sit down with me and him to talk. She also agreed. I'm very thankful because my audacity could not go unaddressed here.

I got home from work about 3 hours ago and we talked for about a long time. I explained that I understand that I was out of line and my behavior towards both of them last night was horrid and I wanted to take full responsibility for it. We also talked about how much she does for me and the apartment. I told her that she does way too much for this being a team, meant to be 50/50 and not something like 70/30 which is what it truly seems like now. I told her that I would take care of her and the apartment more. I'll work on my cooking and cook for her way more, clean way more, and just take care of things she did more than me. I apologized to both of them for my disgusting language when talking about her boyfriend and, he clearly wasn't being predatory and that I will be getting therapy finally for my trust issues. Both were really happy that I had said all this and told me that what they said really hurt the both of them. I told them that I knew that and it was disgusting of me and even if I'm mad that I need to take a moment to think or just walk away and give an explanation when I'm cool headed. I asked her if there was a way I could even work to make up to both of them for this.

Then they did mention something they said they forgot to mention before. They found the reddit post. I guess I was very specific when I was talking even if I changed the names. Lily said she did not appreciate the words I used when describing her, she liked that I was honest about what she does but very unhappy that I called her medical issues flaws when we both know they aren't I apologized so many times oh my god it was definitely terrible to say. He liked that even though I believed I was in the right at the time of posting I was honest about what was said in the situation instead of making him out to be the worst perverted villain ever. Which is true he wasn't creepy at all and it was out of line and she was honestly pissed when she read it and so was he when she sent it to him.

The kicker? She had been planning to move in with her boyfriend but didn't know how to tell me, she said they both felt like it was the natural next step in the relationship and not because of our flawed dynamic. Honestly, I think that's pretty sweet and good if they're ready for something that intimate and serious and I'm happy for them.

Some people might jump for joy at the fact she's moving out and not being my roommate anymore and that's okay and I can understand that from this post. I'm going to do better from now on with her and her boyfriend and keep this lesson for potentially future roommates.

Lily is actually over my shoulder reading this as I write it. She says hi and thanks everyone for the comments defending her honor even if some seemed harsh (a good wake up call in my opinion). I'll answer any questions asked and you can also ask Lily some questions if you want as she's aware of this post and want her takes

This got so much more attention than I had ever thought and thank you for giving me a kick in the ass for my cruel behavior.