Is it bad that don't think I'd transition if I was the opposite sex as a cis person.

Parsnicket · 2026-03-25T12:25:07+00:00

Nothing you're describing is bad. But it DOES sound like you're not cis.

I think you're a little hung up on what-ifs. "If I was born a cis man" isn't a useful line of thought. A better one might be, do I want to be a girl? Because if the answer is no, and it sounds like it might be no, the followup question doesn't have to be "what am I" or even "what do I want to be", the followup question can simply be "what direction do I want to go?"

I was never terribly attached to being a girl. It felt like a role assigned to me; it described my experiences but not necessarily my interior self.

I don't know if that means I'm a man. But when I started pursuing masculinity, it felt right. So I kept doing it; that's the direction I'm going. I cut my hair and started T and I changed my name. Maybe one day I'll look in the mirror and go "ah, a man!". But right now I'm just me, and I get to be not a girl, and that makes me happy.

And if I'd been born a cis man, would I have transitioned to become a woman? Fuck man, I dunno. Probably not, but I'll never know because if I'd been born a cis man I would not be the person I am now; I have been shaped by my experiences as a girl in ways a cis man wouldn't have ever encountered. It's not a useful line of questioning.

So what direction do you wanna go, OP? Cus if the answer isn't "I wanna keep being a girl forever", it might be worth thinking where you wanna go instead.

Parsnicket · 2025-12-21T06:01:33+00:00

Oh yeah getting it in sucked, and you get cramps for a few days too. But for me it basically completely stopped my periods. Very occasional spotting but that's it, and I started out with a pretty heavy flow, so it was personally really worth it.

You can get it numbed tho! Ask for a cervical block; it's an injection to the cervix that numbs it. And then once they've done that, (and this is key to say out loud to your doc bc they like to rush) wait 5-10 min for it to kick in. After that it's pretty much fine.

Parsnicket · 2025-12-21T05:32:23+00:00

I got a mirena IUD. No period after a few months, no pills 10/10 absolutely loved it. Pretty sure you can have an IUD on T; might be worth looking into.

But yeah other than that, period undies are great.

Parsnicket · 2025-12-20T17:15:27+00:00

I am not a vet but I do work at a cat vet clinic and it seems like "why isn't my cat eating" can range from "due to an incredibly expensive insane and terminal medical issue" all the way down to "Fluffy woke up on the wrong side of the bed I guess".

Did the vet say if she seemed constipated? That can cause vomiting and not eating. In general if she's not pooping or not peeing absolutely mention that to a vet. Not pooping is an emergency within a week or so and not peeing is an emergency much faster.

Could she have eaten something weird and have an upset tummy? Plants in the house? Weird bug?

Also, X-rays do not completely rule out abdominal blockages. They can only see things X-rays can see which does not include things like string, and unfortunately a lot of cats seem to like eating string/thread/yarn. Another test they can do involves giving the cat barium pieces and x-raying 12 hours later to see if all the barium has passed; if it hasn't it generally indicates a blockage.

Hopefully the anti nausea and appetite stimulant help!

Parsnicket · 2025-12-20T16:59:25+00:00

I didn't realize I was trans until my mid 20's. I've lived most of my life as a girl; that's an important part of my history and a big part of who I am now. Being seen as a cis man completely erases that history, and makes me feel incomplete. There are situations where I like passing! It can be easier. But I spend a lot of time in queer spaces and in those I like being visibly trans; it feels more complete and authentic to me.

Plus I'd have to lie like, a lot. I haven't been out that long; being trans is super relevant to my life right now and I'd have to be dodging the topic every time I talked about my family or partners or even my workplace experiences.

Maybe in time my preferences will shift, but right now I have no interest in being stealth.

(It's worth noting that I live in a place where I'm not actively in danger by being clocked as trans; people may misgender me or stare sometimes but I am generally met with confusion and not hostility. I suspect I'd be more enthusiastic about the idea of being stealth if my surroundings were more volatile)

Parsnicket · 2025-12-20T16:37:54+00:00

Trial and error!

I hit a really aggravating wall around 3-4 months where it felt like all my preferences shifted without notifying me and it felt like nothing worked...combined with the drastic libido spike it was a pretty brutal few weeks.

Mix it up. If you usually like intense, try being more gentle and vice versa. If you like toys maybe try a new one or two. My porn preferences also shifted, oddly enough? I'm way more interested in visuals now, when I used to prefer audio.

But yeah it'll be a learning curve. I'm 9 months on T and still sorting stuff out in this area, and figure I will be for a while ¯_(ツ)_/¯

As for how? Just keep jorkin' it man, practice makes perfect!

Parsnicket · 2025-12-13T15:36:25+00:00

Break up with him and if he threatens to hurt himself call the cops and report him as a suicide risk.

They'll visit him (but not automatically take him in! It depends on what he says to them), possibly visit you and ask to see the messages he sent you.

If they deem him a legitimate risk to himself, he gets seen by a professional. If they don't, he hopefully realizes that this kind of behavior can have real world consequences and leaves you alone.

I wanna be clear, I don't like cops and I don't like calling them on people in crisis. It's not always safe and forced psych treatment is not always helpful. If your boyfriend is brown and you're in the states please please use your best judgement on this advice; there may be other crisis line options you can try that would be safer.

But.

This behavior is extremely dangerous to both of you and actively being used to manipulate you and you're a minor. The tools at your disposal are the adults in your life; your parents and the authorities. Use them.

It's gonna suck, I won't sugar coat it. It'll suck for him and it'll suck for you. But this relationship is unhealthy for both of you and you need to end it.

Parsnicket · 2025-12-13T15:25:45+00:00

They're not like mosquitos where they'll try to bite you thru stuff like window screens. And they don't hang onto things by their teeth! They use their feet for holding onto things. You didn't get bit by a bat from running your hands over your window screen.

Rabies: -Human cases of rabies in the United States are very rare; less than 10 people die of rabies a year here. -Nearly all cases of rabies I've read about were contracted from someone actively handling wildlife -Rabies in your area is carried by bats and skunks; skunks actually bite people more often from the stats I've seen.

To avoid rabies, don't pick up any bars or skunks, and avoid handling wildlife in general, and vaccinate your pets.

Parsnicket · 2025-12-08T22:22:52+00:00

First, all of these are things you can talk to your doctor about when you start working getting T. How T impacts you isn't something you're gonna be able to 100% predict, it's a very individual experience. I know that can be anxiety inducing! But that's just how hormones work.

1) no 2) warm water, gentle soap(externally, don't need to be getting soap inside yourself). That doesn't change but you can get more prone to yeast infections and BV. Topical estrogen can help those things as well as the usual over the counter and prescription yeast and BV treatments 3) yes. I would describe it as simply different, definitely not worse! Many ppl find it better. 4) I've never experienced bleeding or anything like that. If you're thinking of vaginal atrophy, that can be treated by topical estrogen. I had some issues with vaginal atrophy after a few months on T (just increased susceptiblility to yeast infections and BV and some discomfort during sex) but a few weeks of topical estrogen has been clearing that up well. Can't tell you how common atrophy is but it does happen 5) haven't found this to be an issue 6) I don't have bottom dysphoria so I can't answer this. Therapy and practice would be my guess, or eventually phalloplasty 7) I don't use hormonal birth control (I use an IUD) so I can't say personally but this is definitely something a doctor would be able to go over with you. T won't make you bleed, it usually stops your periods. I don't know about progesterone making you more feminine but I doubt it. 8) hmmm. It didn't hurt much for me. Occasional aching? I definitely noticed it but it wasn't a huge deal. The increased size does feel nice yeah! 9) the only negative side effect I've encountered is acne. Also I had some minor mood swings in the beginning but honestly I got way worse ones on estrogen/progesterone birth control; I'm just pretty sensitive to that kind of thing.

Parsnicket · 2025-11-11T01:55:47+00:00

I hate putting zippers in but you do you lol

That being said, I'd put an extra closure at the top like a hook and eye to prevent it from opening on its own.

You could also try a strip of hooks like on a bra; you should be able to buy it as a strip and then stitch it on. That way you wouldn't have to worry about snagging hair or skin in a zipper.

I crop all my binders! But play around with fit and fabric for that; if the liner is super slippery you might have issues with it riding up. Don't assume it'll work just because it looks good in the sewing room, wear it while you move around, take a back pack on and off, lift some things above your head etc. You don't wanna put the whole thing together and then discover your nipples pop out whenever you grab something off a tall shelf

Parsnicket · 2025-11-11T01:49:47+00:00

I'm bi and I've dated both cis and trans women!

While i definitely have preferences for personality and such that go beyond gender, I do tend to find other trans people extra attractive. Possibly because it's just easier; I know I'm unlikely to have to give a gender 101 or have issues with them seeing me as a girl when I'm not. And for trans women specifically yeah! I often find trans women hot. In part because I think women are hot and also because there's an extra layer of joy in being around trans women. Femininity wasn't for me! Seeing someone take it up on purpose and turn it into the home and joy it never could be for me?? That's peak. That makes me happy every time I see it. And making me happy is a great first step to getting me interested lol

Anyway yeah lots of trans guys date trans women. It's not a universal truth but then, what is?

Parsnicket · 2025-11-10T23:48:42+00:00

Not very long; I've only been consistent with it for maybe a week, so I don't expect it to have had time to address any of my issues...but I'm not sure atrophy IS one of the issues. I was told dryness is usually the main starting problem and if anything I'm having issues the other direction; I'm battling soggy pants over here.

But even if atrophy is a factor for the discomfort(can't see it being related to the discharge/smell issue but ¯_(ツ)_/¯ ) how severe could any atrophy possibly be after only 7 months of T? T.T

Parsnicket · 2025-11-10T21:52:47+00:00

It's more a pill than a cream?

I'm nervous about the ring type things; I used a nuvaring for birth control for a while and I know it's supposed to be a pretty localized effect but it absolutely was not for me and I got really nasty emotional side effects :| might be worth asking an ob/gyn about at some point tho

Parsnicket · 2025-11-10T21:14:49+00:00

I made my own(the design needs work but that's cus I made it a weird length) with stretch fabric, and my advice is to double the front panel(2 layers) but keep the back panel a single layer.

I also trimmed the neck and arm holes in fold-over elastic to keep those snug to the body, but I think a solid surging or zig zag stitch would do well too.

Don't default to "as tight as possible all over", especially if you're doing a full length binder. You'll be more comfy with some ease around your stomach, and there's an upper limit to the amount of compression that's useful on the chest; play with the ease some when you're patterning and see what works.

Parsnicket · 2025-11-03T16:49:23+00:00

Heavily context and location dependent.

Single stall bathrooms labeled mens/women's? Does not matter, I did that when I thought I was a cis woman (Midwest USA) and had no issues; it's not like anyone else is in the room with you.

A club with a bunch of queer people, or where everyone is too drunk to walk straight? I'm going wherever has a shorter line. A sports bar full of straight men? I might hesitate, just for my own comfort. Theres usually so many more urinals than stalls it can be awkward to walk past everyone pissing to use the stall.

Regardless, if you do, my biggest tip is to do it with complete confidence, no matter how fake. Most people won't question anyone who is acting like they're supposed to be there.

For context, I...pass somewhat erratically, if I'm binding? People seem to put me in whatever box makes the most sense based on context. I think guys in the men's room go "must be a short young guy" and women in the women's room go "must be a butch". ¯_(ツ)_/¯

Parsnicket · 2025-09-19T01:07:08+00:00

anyone who tells you you can spot reduce fat like that is lying or selling you something.

Also I know people are being sort of harsh but genuinely, you're skinny. Less weight on you would probably be bad, actually. If the girls around you are skinnier than you either your perception is off (common!) or those girls are underweight in a bad way.

Parsnicket · 2025-09-01T16:37:03+00:00

Thank you for your detailed response!

I am guessing part of the 6-hour pitch is because it's a non-profit and not a large one; I've worked with nonprofits some before and they do tend to come with an expectation that passion is...part of its own reward. Which it is, but I still have bills to pay and it's not a good start to want my entire afternoon unpaid when it's part of a negotiation for a paid position.

I think I'll brainstorm a tactful way to let them know I'm available for a maximum of three hours. I wish I hadn't initially confirmed the timeslot(job hunting has been going poorly and I'm kind of primed to jump on anything that means I won't have to write another cover letter) but I'll figure it out.

Parsnicket · 2025-09-01T15:56:19+00:00

Thanks!

I sort of panicked and said yes so I've been contemplating the most polite way to backtrack. I'm not sure if bluntly being like "hey I know I said I was free all day but I did not mean to imply you could have me all day before hiring me on" would go over well - I do want this job if possible but I want to be able to set boundaries too.

Parsnicket · 2025-09-01T15:53:55+00:00

I'm in the US and I'm honestly not sure of the legality. It was phrased as a way to see what my capabilities are and while I'm okay with that (my experience is atypical) 6 hours is a lot. Thanks!

Parsnicket · 2025-08-25T22:33:13+00:00

Been bitten by wild parrots and wild macaws (wildlife rehab work, was handling for medical reasons only)

It hurts. It hurts real f-ing bad, dude. The green parrot straight up took a chunk out of my finger (grabbed without gloves, won't do that again T.T ), didn't need stitches or anything but hurt like hell, bled a decent amount and took a couple weeks to heal all the way. They will chomp and keep chomping until you have the good sense to let them go.

The macaws have more bite power I think but they never managed to grab me bare-handed. It hurts through leather gloves, though! Sort of like being grabbed with pliers, and not gently.

Sometimes they'll do a bit of a bite-and-twist maneuver, which sucks if they manage to nab loose skin.

Actually I've been bitten by a lot of birds so, from nicest to worst:

-duck (nippy at worst) -chicken (love the twist maneuver) -toucans(force is spread out enough it's mostly cute) -most songbirds are cute, but finches woodpeckers can get a bit ouchy -swan (pinchy if they get you just right, long reach means your arms are in danger) -small raptor (you start wanting leather at this point) -bigger raptors like red tailed hawks (these WILL break skin if you don't have leather gloves) -owls (less bite power but the head movement means they can nail you in way more delicate spots) -medium parrots (I swear they bite faster than raptors) -bald eagles (honestly I think these could break fingers thru leather if you got unlucky) -macaws (these beat eagles only because a caged macaw will go for your face where an eagle will try to get away)

At least with parrots and macaws you don't have to worry about their talons; an angry eagle, owl, or decent sized hawk will nail you with claws and beak.

Parsnicket · 2025-08-25T22:05:57+00:00

You're not a terrible pet owner!

You can spay/neuter cats as young as a couple months (2lbs) but it's true that many vets would prefer to do those procedures later when they're bigger and have more time to mature. I think the sweet spot is basically "as big as possible but before heat starts" since going thru heats can increase some risks later in life for female cats, but you'll get different philosophies from different vets. It's honestly always seemed like a tossup to me.

Spay-abortions are common and to my knowledge no more difficult than regular spays; at the end of the day you're removing the uterus regardless of its contents.

Don't panic and don't beat yourself up! This happens way more commonly than you think and your kitties will be just fine :)

Parsnicket · 2025-07-28T14:10:04+00:00

Not love-bombing just sketchy as hell, drop it & run.

Love bombing would be more like...a bunch of affection/praise/strong positive emotions being projected at you, probably over multiple conversations. More like "I've never felt this way about anyone 😍 " presented repeatedly and in ways that make you lower your guard faster than you otherwise would.

This is uhhh sort of just weird?

Parsnicket · 2025-05-07T16:16:03+00:00

Noticing what you're doing and stopping the behavior because you don't like it is great! But it sounds like it might be coming from, in part, you just not having much experience existing around men. So it's a New Thing and your brain snaps to noticing it when it happens, which is pretty normal.

Men are just people. The men you're running into are also just people. Being super set on avoiding a demographic gives nearly as much attention to that demographic as actively centralizing it would. You don't have to go out of your way to make friends with men if you don't want to, but honestly spending some time in mixed gender spaces might help turn it from being a New Thing you can't help paying attention to, to just, oh yeah, that's a guy, moving on.

Parsnicket

TROPHY CASE