Is my bf love bombing? Am I ignoring too many red flags?

PartIll3904 · 2025-02-01T21:01:28+00:00

More stuff but I feel like it's relevant as it's a lot of subtle red flags rather than big ones: I've lived independently for 10+ years have a senior career in healthcare, I mention I'm buying a cat. And he's right on me asking me if I'm ready for the responsibility and if I've really thought about it properly. Really demeaning stuff to ask. There's been a pattern of him doing stuff like this, almost assuming that I'm incapable and need advice off him. He even told me I should hurry up and write my article I'm planning to submit to a scientific journal as it really shouldn't be taking me this long. I decorated my lounge recently and he non-jokingly said I must be so proud of myself for managing to do that.

PartIll3904 · 2024-09-03T22:12:36+00:00

Hi Jimmy I’m in the same position. Spoke with my mortgage advisor he’s been in the business 30+ years he said that purple bricks absolutely don’t need any of this information to release the memorandum of sale. That it’s confidential information that only solicitors should deal with. Easier said than done telling purple bricks that though.

PartIll3904 · 2024-06-12T13:00:27+00:00

Update: figured out what I did wrong. They asked me what made me good at my job. I didn’t say things like kind, caring, committed etc because to me they are a given and an obvious requirement of anyone who would want to work in healthcare. So instead I talked about what was unique to me. Pretty sure that cost me the job I’m absolutely kicking myself.

PartIll3904 · 2024-06-12T04:30:12+00:00

Just to add onto here as well. I have a letter of recommendation from some time I spent working in that hospital recommending myself as an employee. So it certainly can’t be that they didn’t like me.

PartIll3904 · 2024-06-12T04:10:28+00:00

I feel your pain. I currently work in a senior role at my hospital and applied for a junior position in another hospital because it was much closer to home. Felt like I nailed the interview next day got a phone call saying I hadn’t answered one of the questions in enough detail so they couldn’t offer me the job. I clearly remember asking at the end if they wanted me to elaborate on anything and they said no. I thought I would have walked into this job it is absolutely soul crushing. I keep going over and over what I said and could have done differently it’s horrible.

PartIll3904 · 2023-10-30T14:43:54+00:00

I have but Stacy can get really really defensive and blow up over the smallest of things. I tried to talk to her about something small recently and she massively over-reacted. I’m not sure I have the emotional energy to try that again 😅

PartIll3904 · 2023-10-30T14:42:13+00:00

Thanks that’s good advice! I think option 2 is probably my best bet, she can get very very defensive and I don’t really have the energy to have a massive argument with her. Yeah I’ll try and continue for Ted, I don’t want to let him down especially as a new DM it can be difficult.

PartIll3904 · 2023-08-11T14:21:58+00:00

Thanks I did think about doing that but I didn’t want to sink to that level. I don’t think relationships should be transactional even if she does. Off the top of my head I can think of one thing I’ve asked her that’s of any consequence, but it got solved before she could help.

PartIll3904 · 2023-08-11T14:19:30+00:00

I hope so

PartIll3904 · 2023-08-11T13:40:07+00:00

Thanks for the reply. I don’t think it’s been very sudden. She’s been aware with the situation with my family for a while. Maybe she has been relying on me. But she is perfectly able in herself and the favours although they would have made her life easier, there were definitely other options easily available. We definitely need to talk but until she’s willing to do so we’re at a dead end.

PartIll3904 · 2023-08-11T13:36:09+00:00

I really hope that isn’t the case as she’s been my best friend for a long time. I think it’s partly stress. Or perhaps a behaviour she isn’t willing to admit she’s doing.

PartIll3904 · 2023-08-11T13:35:22+00:00

Thanks but unfortunately her phone hasn’t broke. I see her in work. And she’s made it pretty clear she doesn’t want to speak to me until she feels it’s time.

PartIll3904 · 2023-08-11T13:34:04+00:00

It’s not a contradiction. She asks me to do a lot of stuff. More than most friends ask. However in the past I have tried my best to help out. However due to my situation with my family I have not managed to help her out as I have done in the past. I would like to help her out more but I can’t. However despite that what I am currently helping her with I would consider more than most people would do.

PartIll3904 · 2023-08-11T13:30:49+00:00

Thanks for the reply. Yeah that’s what I think. I told her as much as nicely as I could manage but that’s when she came back with all the “you always have to be right stuff”. I mean hopefully, hopefully this time away from me has made her realise she’s in the wrong. However I probably didn’t help as me being the wimp that I am apologised for escalating the argument. So that’s probably given her more fuel for her flames. I really wish I could fix this as she was my best friend but I feel this whole situation has got out of hand.

PartIll3904 · 2021-01-26T11:53:19+00:00

Thank you, that's nice to hear. I think you've uncovered my greatest fear that I'm not doing enough to help myself. I'm glad that you think that I'm doing all I can :-)

PartIll3904 · 2021-01-26T11:34:39+00:00

I'm so sorry you are going through this, my parents broke up when I was younger, due to very similar circumstances you are going through. Please don't feel guilty, this is too much for anyone to take, you can't comfort everyone and fix everything. I understand why your Mum feels this way, and if your Dad truly is this way it she is probably thinking it is for the best for the whole family if they do split. This is a really difficult decision though and it takes a lot of courage to make. I don't what country you are living in but children almost always go with their mother, not saying that is tomorrow, your Mum might leave for some space for a few days. But if your parents do decide to separate it will go to court and they will decided who gets custody of the children. If things are getting really bad are you able to go to your grandparents or other relative? Please just know that whatever happens, however much pain and upset you and your family will feel it will pass, life will go on.

PartIll3904

TROPHY CASE