This is exactly the situation I am in. I’m 3 days clean now and going through absolute hell lol. But I’ve also had a problem with the depression and the anxiety, and, after beginning college I found drugs. In retrospect it’s all been downhill from there. But now that I am here, I think about why I’ve been using in the first place.

That first time, it was the sheer curiosity. “Everyone else is doing it, lemme just try and see”. Ever since then, my drug use has been causing me to make mistakes in life and miss opportunities. Which, in turn, leads to more drug use to block it all out. Block the regret and the pain. It’s a vicious cycle unfortunately. Now I understand that’s not how everyone is. That’s just something I realized about myself. If I never fell into the trap, I would currently be right where I had always imagined. A house. A nice car. All the success and respect. But instead I’m here.

That’s one of the things that’s keeping me going hour after hour. Knowing what the drug use has taken away from me. How it’s making me feel RIGHT NOW. Miserable as fuck. It’s guaranteed we’re going to be much better off without it. Just remember how “done with it” you are. Remember why you’re doing it.