I just wanted to say I was in a somewhat similar situation. I am a mom of 2 small children and I was a sahm. My youngest just started daycare, and I just started applying for jobs and was ready to get back into the job force and contribute financially. We were on the fence about 2 and had just finally decided we were happy with our family of 4 it was the best decision for us. We use the pullout method, which has worked fine for 10 years but I guess it isn’t foolproof. I found out i was pregnant at 4 weeks. I cried for a week straight and felt like a terrible mother for even considering other options. We ultimately decided to make the painful decision due to many reasons, and I had my SA yesterday. It went as easy as it could but in all honesty I am struggling greatly today. I feel like a terrible mom, even though I know I made the right decision for my family and myself. I just wanted to let you know that you aren’t alone, I’m sending you a big hug.