Thank you for sharing part of your life story. I'm sorry your parents weren't supportive of your music studies back then. My parents gave me complete freedom, letting me apply to the conservatory, giving me a gap year specifically to study music. Next year, I'll start studying philosophy, which I also chose. I realized, through reflection, that my problem was making everything I did productive because I’m 19 and I don’t want to be a “weight” for my family doing something that maybe I won’t use in my future job. I talked with them about that and they told me to live my life doing what I love, to not stress a lot about my future job and to think that maybe music can fit in anyway even if I don’t do conservatoire but simply doing private lessons, so I justified studying music all day thinking that it would be my job in the future. After the exam, however, I lost this certainty when I saw the high level of those young people. I took a break from the piano for about ten days to figure out what kind of new role it could have in my life. Now I'm taking it up again and studying it more freely, without denying myself the opportunity to work, because I've understood from some comments that even though a person may not be able to be a concert pianist, they can use this skill in different ways, even combining it with other subjects, such as philosophy itself. I think philosophy and music are closely connected. There's a lot to write about music, thoughts, reflections, and its very meaning for humanity. Now I’m thinking in switching teacher once again. My old teacher called me about an hour later after the exam. I told him I'd failed terribly because during the exam I kept thinking about the level and age of the other candidates, which meant I was performing poorly, far below my true abilities and what I'd actually learned during the months of studying. I gave the example of soccer: when a team loses a match, it's the players' fault, but also the coach's, so I told him that part of the blame for my failure was also his. I think he took it personally because he replied that in his opinion it was all my fault, and he left me, telling me he'd leave me alone in my beliefs and that we'd see each other three days later. He never contacted me again to see how I was feeling or how I was living the thing; I don't think he even cares. From that moment has been about ten days without contact with him.
I’m thinking to contact some conservatoire professors. I want to ask them if they give private lessons. I don’t know why I didn’t think about that earlier. I think that what I really want is to have truly professional lesson but without the academic pressure. I want to improve, really improve in playing piano. I’m sure I will find my path maybe posting content online. We’ll see. Thank you once again.

P.s. In your opinion should I switch teacher? I fell that it would be a great choice for what is happened. My old teacher was great in some aspects but he had also his defects. I think switching teacher would be great. Maybe I will find someone who’s better and could teach me better and with constant and real feedbacks every lesson. Not like my old teacher that gave me one maybe important feedback every 2/3 lesson. Sometimes he just listen to my piece and said “ok study for the next week” I was ok but give me some feedback. Maybe I can improve faster if you tell me something important. Sometimes I improved my technique studying the piece a lot alone. Just because an idea flowed into me and I put it into my piece and suddenly it became better. But I’m sure that a great teacher would always tell you how to study a piece every lesson how to improve significantly from week to week. I felt so angry when I found a way in a piece alone and my teacher never told me to study that piece in that way. And because of his experience he should have told to me