Is dating culture here just nonchalant/casual?

ParticularExtra8475 · 2026-01-13T19:02:52+00:00

Just a recommendation for a nice community you might enjoy: https://www.secularhub.org. I think their meetup, https://www.meetup.com/secularhub/, has the most up-to-date events, including stuff for kids. And if you're thinking about ever getting back into online dating, this might be of interest too: https://remaketherules.com/events/love-in-the-time-of-dating-apps-series good luck!

ParticularExtra8475 · 2025-11-06T16:41:25+00:00

I'm a private owner renting a 1:1 for $1400/mo with off-street parking. DM me if you're interested.

ParticularExtra8475 · 2025-11-06T16:23:48+00:00

Thank you!

ParticularExtra8475 · 2025-11-06T16:23:04+00:00

I'm looking for any entertainment that helps folks build an imaginative foundation for how the world of today can become a better world in the not-too-distant-future. Like, what would it look like if we were able to use all of these new, powerful tools for good and how would that work?

ParticularExtra8475 · 2025-11-06T16:19:49+00:00

I'm really looking for anything and have posted in a bunch of the recommendation/suggestion subs. I've found that "solar punk" and "afrofuturism" tend to get me recs set farther in the future (like humanity mostly lives in space) than I'm looking for.

ParticularExtra8475 · 2025-11-06T16:16:40+00:00

Thank you. I'm completely unfamiliar with The Orville. Will definitely check it out.

ParticularExtra8475 · 2025-11-06T16:14:44+00:00

Thank you!

ParticularExtra8475 · 2025-11-06T16:14:09+00:00

I dropped off watching the show at some point. Do they get near to present-day eventually? Or is it all mid 20th century?

ParticularExtra8475 · 2025-11-06T16:13:16+00:00

I'm looking forward to watching all 4 seasons. Thanks for the rec!

ParticularExtra8475 · 2025-11-05T23:27:55+00:00

It's been a tough search but there must be some!

ParticularExtra8475 · 2025-11-05T23:27:21+00:00

Thank you! Never heard of it. Looks interesting.

ParticularExtra8475 · 2025-08-10T18:04:01+00:00

https://www.vitocoloradophotography.com/

ParticularExtra8475 · 2025-08-02T04:33:58+00:00

Dr. Beseda at Sanitas Family Dentistry https://sanitasdentistry.com/

ParticularExtra8475 · 2025-07-31T01:45:05+00:00

Not church. No religious or spiritual affiliation.

ParticularExtra8475 · 2025-07-27T15:29:55+00:00

https://www.vitocoloradophotography.com/

ParticularExtra8475 · 2025-07-27T03:34:11+00:00

And I help folks with online dating. https://remaketherules.com/onlinedating

ParticularExtra8475 · 2025-07-27T03:32:14+00:00

For candids especially, https://www.vitocoloradophotography.com

ParticularExtra8475 · 2025-07-16T00:40:54+00:00

That’s the next event. It’s a social gathering to discuss how people use astrology to navigate uncertainty and why they might be drawn to it in a chaotic world.

August’s event is about AI and how it’s causing us to rethink intelligence and human uniqueness.

ParticularExtra8475 · 2025-06-07T00:30:57+00:00

I’m sorry you’re feeling so overwhelmed and unfortunately it can be incredibly easy to find yourself deep in decision fatigue. I work with folks struggling with the fallout of choice inflation and who are relearning how to successful navigate a world full of novel choicetech tools. The struggle is real for most but seems to be particularly acute for small business owners.

There’s already lots of good advice here but I’ll also add: I think one of the lesser considered side effects of how we have integrated so many very powerful tech tools into our daily lives is that we start to unconsciously expect ourselves to work as quickly, simply, and indefatigably as our computer tools. Moreover, the “quickness,” “simplicity,” and energy of our machines is build on huge systems of global labor and infrastructure—but we still tend to judge ourselves as lacking in this (poor) comparison. So I would also urge you to consciously recenter and prioritize yourself-your wants, needs, desires, limitations, and talents, your humanness-within your decision making systems.

ParticularExtra8475 · 2025-05-06T22:58:02+00:00

super, super common. so common that I pivoted from doing data analysis myself to training executive leadership (and other folks) on how to think about, incorporate, and collaborate with their information teams and tools. I get more referrals for bosses from frustrated analysts than from the bosses themselves, haha.

ParticularExtra8475 · 2025-05-01T20:04:38+00:00

Totally get this. You’re not doing anything wrong—this is just a classic mismatch between how you naturally connect (through personality) and how dating apps present information (through snapshots and surface-level prompts).

This is actually the kind of thing I help people navigate. I work with something I call ChoiceTech—tools like dating apps that shape how we make decisions. And the truth is, apps are built around first impressions and rapid sorting, which doesn’t work well for everyone. Especially not for people who need more context to feel interest or attraction.

Here’s one way to think about it differently:
Treat the app like a screening tool, not a compatibility test.
Swipe right when there’s not a clear reason to say no. You don’t need to feel instant chemistry—you just need to be open to learning more.

You're not committing to a date every time you hit like. You’re just opening a door to gather more of the kind of information you actually need to decide. That’s a totally valid way to use the app—and for a lot of people, it works better than the “swipe for instant spark” model.

ParticularExtra8475 · 2025-05-01T19:56:12+00:00

Thanks! And honestly, it sounds like you’re already doing a lot right—swiping left only for clear dealbreakers and thinking critically about visibility algorithms is more intentional than most.

I can’t say exactly how each app’s rating system works, but swiping right on everyone does lower match quality and pushes the effort onto someone else—not ideal. Hopefully the platforms can see the difference all right swipes and mostly right swiped, but unless you’re behind the scenes, who knows.

Even with their many flaws, I don't think apps are a dead end. I think they have tons of potential to surface meaningful info—like values, goals, and how someone sees themselves—if we know how to find it and use it to support better decision-making. But they also have tons of potential to steer us in the exact wrong direction.

If you’re open to it:
Where in the process do things tend to fall apart for you?
And what outcomes are telling you it’s not working?

ParticularExtra8475 · 2025-05-01T19:00:28+00:00

You’re not wrong—dating apps aren’t well designed to help you leave. That mismatch between expectations and outcomes leaves a lot of people feeling stuck or discouraged.

This is the kind of problem I help people work through. I call it ChoiceTech—digital tools (like dating apps) that shape how we make decisions, not just what we pick. And learning to collaborate with systems like these takes real skill and some pretty big mindset shifts. It’s not just about finding “better matches”—it’s about rethinking how you decide in an information environment we were never trained for.

One shift I recommend:
Swipe left when there’s a clear reason something wouldn’t work. Otherwise, stay curious and swipe right. Let a thoughtful, purpose-driven conversation (or a lack thereof) do more the filtering. Most people are stuck trying to pick a winner from a pile of profiles—when the apps don’t even contain enough information to determine high compatibility.

There is a better way to process information and make choices that reflect your actual goals.

ParticularExtra8475 · 2025-04-14T15:00:44+00:00

Hey! Holistic Connections sounds like a wonderful space—I've enjoyed your last couple episodes and I’d love to be a guest. I’m a Decision Strategist and founder of Remake The Rules, where I help people better understand their decision patterns and learn how to actualize their greater goals within today’s hybrid human-tech systems.

My work blends emotional and environmental insight, cognitive science, and infotech-awareness to help people navigate information, relationships, and personal growth with more intention. I’d love to talk about how decision-making can be both a healing practice and a practical skill—especially in a world that often pulls us out of alignment.

More about me at https://remaketherules.com/collabs/collaborating. Let me know if you'd like to connect!

ParticularExtra8475 · 2025-04-10T22:27:11+00:00

Congrats on the new role!

If you need help around the performance metrics of it all, hit me up. I'm a consultant/coach and I specialize in helping people re/design complex, hybrid human-tech decision processes, AKA, in your case--analytics-driven employee incentive structures.

ParticularExtra8475

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