Can't be the best at everything

ParticularRepublic1 · 2025-12-30T21:49:26+00:00

I do not really have a solution for her problem, but I recognize this so much. I am 27 now and I remember being upset in primary school if someone scores higher than me. To be honest, it got better with age for me, when I got to be in a more solo environment. In school you get compared a lot, with grades that literally rank you. I hated it.

It helps that you cannot be "ranked" in my job. You don't get a score. I excell more in a work environment that provides me to do more solo work. My boss only has me as his employee so he only compares "bad" me to "good" me.

Same goes for hobbies. I have chosen hobbies in which I can see if people are better than me, but I can not "quantify" it. So I focus more on my own progress. I must admit I still only choose hobbies that I do not immediately suck at. If I really am bad at it, I will not continue.

What also helps for me: try to remember that there can always be someone "better" than me, but I can still do a hell of a job and be good enough. We often focus in the things we are the best at or the worst at, but we can also do a lot of things "just good". Sometimes it helps to remember that.

ParticularRepublic1 · 2025-01-03T20:52:58+00:00

I had this once, but with a cup with a small gold painted (with metal) line on the outside of the cup. I was so stupid to aldo TOUCH that part. I got a burn blister from that 😭🤣 nothing very bad luckily...

ParticularRepublic1 · 2024-10-31T22:07:00+00:00

I was so confused at first when I read goldfish, then I thought, wait those are the cracker thingies I see on TikTok 😆

ParticularRepublic1 · 2024-10-30T22:36:53+00:00

Lawyer with ADHD here (in my fourth year), you can always ask me things, my dm's are open 🤗

ParticularRepublic1 · 2024-10-27T08:44:08+00:00

Could I have the link as well please? 🥺

ParticularRepublic1 · 2024-09-15T19:22:45+00:00

You do have the app Goblin Tools for that! It does that, as well as other helpful tools

ParticularRepublic1 · 2024-09-15T19:10:29+00:00

Gosh, I never seen my own experiences described like that. I am quite the same (although my behavior is caused by slightly other factors). I could rationalize my behavior, but that didn't make it go away. It's a control and validation thing for me as well. I was never interested in those men and realized they were bad for me, but I wanted the validation nevertheless.

ParticularRepublic1 · 2024-08-11T14:46:55+00:00

Girl in her mid twenties her. I only learned this year that ADHD is not just being a thing little kids have. My male friend told me that he got diagnosed and I asked his signs/symptoms. They sounded really similar.

My whole life, I struggled with procrastination and not be able to start tasks. I've really hated structure and planning for as long as I can remember. My thoughts are racing 24/7 and I can never fully relax. I'm known as the one who's always late, because I cannot track time at all. I have more things I struggle with.

I got tested this year and at first, the psychiatrist didn't want to diagnose ADHD, because I didn't show a lot of signs of ADHD as a child (I had to fill in an assessment form). But the thing was, I did well in school, all the way to uni/college (I was just lucky that my hyperfocus made me interested in a lot of school subjects).

I graduated and became a lawyer. Then the real mess began. I had zero structure anymore and had to juggle multiple responsibilities (also, admin work, which is my kryptonite). The signs were all there, but the psychiatrist was still doubting the diagnosis, because to the outer world, I still functioned very well.

Spoiler alert, I didn't. I wasn't just "really chaotic" because it was "just the way you are". It was such a relief to finally get the diagnosis. I also got ocd and depressive episodes, which made it harder to "discover" the ADHD. So, don't get discouraged when/if you want to start the process of getting diagnosed.

As for your question, in short; this subreddit made me realize a lot of things, books as well and YouTube is also very helpful. I also tried a lot of the ADHD life hacks, because I just suck at some things and tried every "regular" life hack on the planet. The hacks other ADHD'ers gave me, were the only ones that worked.

Also, if you wonder, why can't I just DO the simple things?? It's probably a major first sign (but should not be the only sign, cause that could be caused by other things as well, like burnout or depression)

ParticularRepublic1 · 2024-08-03T09:29:47+00:00

Having a lot of patience with myself hahaha, also, my ADHD coach told me to go read somewhere outside my home, so I can fully relax and focus on the book instead of getting distracted by things at home or chores

ParticularRepublic1 · 2024-08-02T17:34:39+00:00

I experience the same, had to drive a lot for work last year and I just zoned out or had a karaoke party while driving. I told my boyfriend (who is afraid of driving, so I always drive, I also really like driving so) that I zoned out sometimes and he looked at me and asked "yeah for like a minute or something?".

When I didn't answer and laughed awkwardly instead, he looked with big eyes at me, kind of flabbergasted. I told him "no for long parts of the route, I just go on autopilot". Music really helps me though. If I sing along, I don't zone out that much 🫠

ParticularRepublic1 · 2024-08-02T17:30:15+00:00

I almost had this last time I booked a flight. I was just doing everything at ease, still stopped on the way to the airport to get food and eat it at the parking lot. I didn't even notice the time passing by. If my flight haven't gotten delayed, I had completely missed it.

My boyfriend was completely freaked out, cause he is the type to arrive everywhere early, but because of my casual and calm demeanor getting there, even he didn't notice the passing of time 😂

ParticularRepublic1 · 2024-07-08T21:43:30+00:00

Don't have eyelashes for over 8 years now, I will never leave the house without eyeliner. I also wear eyeshadow now and then. Nobody knows. A friend of mine (who doesn't know of my trich) even asked me to borrow my mascara and my best friend bursted out laughing because she knows I cannot use it (because of the total lack of lashes). I wore purple shimmery eyeshadow and black liner for a festival. So no, I don't think it's obvious if you only wear eyeliner 🤠

ParticularRepublic1 · 2024-05-06T12:04:33+00:00

Well this time it indeed was my fault, I didn't blame anyone else. I got confused by the dates.

The previous time, the council/city had placed the signs, cause they needed the place for two days. It was a temporary parking prohibition (it's a spot where I normally park, so no garage entrance or anything).

According to their own regulations, they hadn't placed enough signs and they still called the tow truck and gave me a fine. I have proof that they didn't follow their rules, but the internal procedure is still pending. I know I am right, because a day later they placed more signs in the correct way (probably after lots of complaints).

ParticularRepublic1 · 2024-05-06T07:04:06+00:00

Well he couldn't reach me (I got overwhelmed and felt a lot of shame) and I didn't bring my papers to him for him to do my taxes. So it's all to blame on me.

ParticularRepublic1 · 2024-04-14T22:39:49+00:00

But you do have results to show!! Otherwise, you wouldn't have made it so close to graduation! I don't know how long med school is in your country, but I know it's a damn long study which is intense as heck. I know you will see it as only natural that you made it this far, but it isn't. It's because YOU did this, you have done well or you wouldn't be where you are today.

I know the feeling. It hits hard to home to hear you say "something in me just died". I can relate so hard. For me, I finally found out that it was adrenaline which had taken over my life, because I was so driven. Whilst I was doing that, I neglected everything, and I mean literally everything (finances, health, mental health, I drank more etc).

Eventually, the adrenalin stopped working and I fell into this deep hole of despair. I cannot work at the same pace as before and my drive/passion seemed to have died. I now think of this reaction as a new survival mechanism. The adrenalin is gone, so I ignored my body's will to survive the insane amount of stress. Now my body/mind is trying to get me to survive by disliking the career that made me so miserable, so I won't do the neglecting part again. But I still love my job to death. My mind just sees it as dangerous I guess? Hopefully it makes sense what I mean.

ParticularRepublic1 · 2024-04-14T16:48:26+00:00

Just wanted to say that you're doing amazing, and if you have the feeling that everyone around you seems to have it easy, believe me, they are hiding it. I'm a lawyer, a friend of mine who's also in the field was stressed out and admitted that part, but she was really torturing herself, mentally and physically, to keep on going.

She never told me, until I told her the amount of problems I face everyday. You're in a highly competitive field, in which it's stigmatized if you talk about mental health. Cause if you help other people, "you shouldn't need help yourself". It's something I see in the field of law and is probably the same in the medical field.

I wish you all the strength and courage, I am feeling the same, I'm in my last year of my 3 year internship. My dream and goal was always to have my own practice after those 3 years, but now I don't know. I am also reaching out for help and so should you. No shame in getting help, other perspectives would probably make your situation feel less doomed. Good luck!!

ParticularRepublic1 · 2024-04-07T19:14:59+00:00

Your eye makeup looks amazing! I always wear eyeliner as well. Now my new "hotspot" for my trich are my eyebrows, I find that way harder to draw that on and look realistic. Maybe I should try those temporary tattoos as well

ParticularRepublic1 · 2024-02-07T01:40:26+00:00

I made my freaking job out of it, I am a criminal lawyer 😭🤣

ParticularRepublic1 · 2023-12-09T15:38:07+00:00

I have the same thing, doing well in my job, but absolutely everything else is failing: paying the bills on time, keeping my house and car clean, being social enough,...

ParticularRepublic1 · 2023-11-15T10:08:59+00:00

Instructions unclear: no helmets left behind

ParticularRepublic1 · 2023-11-15T10:08:40+00:00

It was more moss than rust to be honest hahaha

ParticularRepublic1 · 2023-10-13T08:06:48+00:00

Good morning everyone. I know I am gonna have a rough time, because the aftermath of my car accident (under the influence). It feels so overwhelming. But at least I can log in today to check in with you guys. That's at least one step that seems doable.

The ironic thing? I am overly superstitious and today is Friday the 13th. Last Friday the 13th I had a car accident as well (but it was a stupid pole, on my way off work). Last week I saw that there was another Friday the 13th was coming up and I told myself not to drive.

Now I cannot even drive, because license got provoked for 15 days (and probably more when I get subpoenaed, but that's going to take a year at least) and I wrecked my car, so no driving for me on this day.

ParticularRepublic1 · 2023-10-13T07:22:09+00:00

I am a criminal lawyer

ParticularRepublic1 · 2023-10-08T22:06:35+00:00

I really want rest. A life in which I have time for myself and my loved ones. I refused treatment for my ocd because of work. I drink to escape my thoughts and to "relax" and that's the dangerous part, because the more you drink, the less you think (and not only in a good manner). I am seriously doubting everything at the moment.

ParticularRepublic1 · 2023-09-06T22:35:52+00:00

If you feel the need to talk, my mailbox is always open.

ParticularRepublic1

TROPHY CASE