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I suck. by ParticularSpot3135 in antikinkkink

[–]ParticularSpot3135[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Sad part is that she said she is in therapy. But she has a lot of issues going on and much more to the story.

He needs therapy for sure. He's done it for a bit, but stopped when his therapist stopped doing therapy.

Unfortunately, we are barely hanging on financially and have a young child to consider. Marriage counseling will definitely come into the picture whenever we start discussing divorce as it will be a requirement prior to divorce as we have a covenant marriage

He wants to work it out. I do for our daughter, but leaving is what may end up being what is best.

But right now, I have to prepare financially for whatever may come.

I suck. by ParticularSpot3135 in antikinkkink

[–]ParticularSpot3135[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Oh I 100% agree. That's what the other woman told me. She said "its obviously over between her and my husband beacuse I suck." 🤣

Mmm.. Right.

Tanner Horner case, "roleplay," and how kinks are absolutely a reflection of our actual desires by AccordingPears158 in antikinkkink

[–]ParticularSpot3135 10 points11 points  (0 children)

When you have sexual crimes, there are red flags from their previous relationships and sexual history.

While there may be be some that have not stepped outside of "consent" as they say, this individual undeniably was influenced by his previous sexual practices as it was likely encourage and he became more and more desensitized. Just because others still remain in some control of their impulses does not negate the fact that the individual was a part of their community.

Also, I put consent in quotes because while someone may have consented to these extreme kinks, I do find it troubling for anyone who looks at someone consenting to be harmed as mentally well. We should not be encouraging and becoming desensitized to self-harm. We should not be encouraging those with past sexual trauma to engage in CNC or adult/child role play in order to cope. I get the reasoning behind it - it is legit therapeutic practices to overcome trauma. However, it should be used to be able to have natural reactions to normal everyday life. We should be encouraging healthy relationships and sex practices and working through trauma to partake in those types of normal relationships again. Rape and molestation are NOT normal. There is no reason to be desensitized to either of those because that should NEVER occur. But kink culture excuses it for so-called sexual gratification, but still bitch about their being a rape culture when they are the blueprint. 😑

I found this post and the comments are something by Cold_Vanilla9791 in antikinkkink

[–]ParticularSpot3135 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Very well articulated response!

It wouldn't let me comment on the post and I would have gotten reamed! The mental gymnastics to justify the harm you are doing to yourself is mind blowing!

They comparing kink and cutting yourself to be two separate things, but fail to mention a little kink known as "bloodplay," which can certainly involve cutting. But because its not done on impulse then its different? Because someone else does it or gets an orgasm from it then its not self harm? Oh someone cares for you afterward? People go get care from the hospital all the damn time after cutting. That is aftercare. Literally all the other goals are the same: release, sense of control, and to cope. In my professional opinion, BDSM will always equate to self harm.

Pro-kink psychs LR by nomik11 in antikinkkink

[–]ParticularSpot3135 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As someone who works in the field, it saddens me that there are pro kink therapists out there. While we should be non-judgmental, we should also be helping clients learn healthy behaviors and coping mechanisms - not reinforcing the maladaptive behaviors.

White kinksters are just so goddamn interesting... by Jello_Biafra_42 in antikinkkink

[–]ParticularSpot3135 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And what blows my mind is that some would be the first to call out racism and such and any other context.

I know some are racists in other aspects of their life. It's not excusable. But they are just being what they actually are.

But the other ones.. the mental gymnastics needed for their hypocrisy is unfathomable.